Hard to top that...

[Category]

I'm married to a theist and we get along fine.  She needs your support in her time of grief, the rest can wait and won't even be a problem unless one of you makes it a problem.  Don't be the one who makes it a problem and you should be fine, and if you're not fine, it's not because of something you did.  Right now she needs your shoulder, not your brain.

I'd much rather give her my shoulder, brain is a mess at the moment.

EDIT:: It's also good to see that atheist+theist couples do exist and have (somewhat?)normal lives.
Double EDIT:: My sig too long?

[PoopShoot]

I'd much rather give her my shoulder, brain is a mess at the moment.

Then your course is clear as well as easy: be there for her to cry at and don't say a fucking thing when she says "god..." or "...better place...".  Just comfort her when she needs it and maybe get back to the religion thing in a few months or maybe a year.  Or just don't get back to the religion thing at all.

[Category]

Is it practical to be in a relationship in which you keep your beliefs hidden to keep the peace? I'm certainly never looking for trouble, but I'd love to be able to talk to her about my (and her) beliefs at times... Or is that why you all are here?

Final edit before bed: Thanks for everything, just by responding you've eased my mind and probably saved my relationship. Looking forward to being an active member in the community.

(Is my siggy too big...gy?)

[PoopShoot]

I didn't mean to imply that you keep them hidden.  My wife and I talk about god all the time.  She knows I don't believe in god at all.  The difference is that we talk about our individual beliefs without prejudice.  She believes in some silly shit.  She knows I think some of the shit she believes in is silly.  She knows I value HER regardless of what stupid shit she believes.

[Category]

I didn't mean to imply that you keep them hidden.  My wife and I talk about god all the time.  She knows I don't believe in god at all.  The difference is that we talk about our individual beliefs without prejudice.  She believes in some silly shit.  She knows I think some of the shit she believes in is silly.  She knows I value HER regardless of what stupid shit she believes.

Meant to touch back on that in my edit, slipped my mind. I hadn't intended to presume that you were suggesting shutting everything religion into a back room and locking them up, more that it's just not a common topic in casual conversation.

[Kylyssa]

Is it practical to be in a relationship in which you keep your beliefs hidden to keep the peace?

The short answer is no.  

It will eventually create friction and Christianity usually doesn't stay on its side of the membrane, it tries to leak over into everything around it.  There are exceptions but honesty tends to work best in long term relationships.  If a relationship can't handle honesty, it isn't going to survive in any healthy way.  

I agree that you should wait for her family emotional storm to blow over before talking religion with her.  Wait until there are no raw nerves left and I mean none because nothing will make a person hate you more than making him or her doubt more when bad stuff happening is already making him or her doubt.  

Holy cow, but did I put my foot in it at least one time.  My timing is never good, I'm autistic so I tend to try to stick with logic in unfamiliar situations.  It was a death anniversary (eighth or ninth, I think) and not a recent death.  I asked my ex why he was crying for his dead Grandmother if she was up in Heaven eating buttered rye bread with good sauerkraut and he'd be with her someday.  With those words, I made him think about his faith when he wanted it reinforced most.  I was trying to cheer him up by reminding him that, according to his religion, Grandma was OK and he's see her again, and it totally backfired on me.  So my advice is to keep your mouth closed aside from "there there" and "I love you" and "I'm sorry", etc. if the topic turns to religious ideas before you think she's over her emotional trauma.

[tymygy]

:yay:  :bananacolor:    :yay:  :bananacolor:    :yay:  :bananacolor:

Nothing says 'hi' better than dancing Emoji!

YES!

[Thumpalumpacus]

Is it practical to be in a relationship in which you keep your beliefs hidden to keep the peace? I'm certainly never looking for trouble, but I'd love to be able to talk to her about my (and her) beliefs at times... Or is that why you all are here?

Final edit before bed: Thanks for everything, just by responding you've eased my mind and probably saved my relationship. Looking forward to being an active member in the community.

(Is my siggy too big...gy?)

It can work, so long as you agree to respect each other's right to hold their own opinion.  But you've got bigger fish to fry.  Good luck, and looking forward to seeing further posts from you.

[chrome]

YES!

Yay cute Kittie dancing I like it tymygy I like it A LOT :crazy:  Keep us posted HA forums are awesome  

[Category]

@chrome
Your threads are what brought me here asking, actually.  

@Kylyssa
Sorry for missing your post, I definitely understand how things can backfire like that in multibelief relationships.
Also @Kylyssa, I've often suspected that I'm slightly autistic especially in these end years of school.

@Anyone I've missed, thanks for your replies+insight =P

[wildfire_emissary]

I agree with Kylyssa. When I'm having trouble with the Catholic wife, she would most often try to resolve everything by asking me to pray and blame my godlessness for the mess we're in. It leaks around right. By the way, welcome Category. The handle reminds me of Aristotle.

[Category]

I agree with Kylyssa. When I'm having trouble with the Catholic wife, she would most often try to resolve everything by asking me to pray and blame my godlessness for the mess we're in. It leaks around right. By the way, welcome Category. The handle reminds me of Aristotle.

Thank you wildfire_emissary, I'd say  having my beliefs blamed for anything other than my thought process would really irk me and is one of the things I don't want in my current relationship. Sometimes I have trouble seeing things from the theistic mind set and resort to being extremely bullheaded when it comes to compromising although from the advice everyone has given me here I'm going to aim for more of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to religion.

I won't push my way onto her, I'd just appreciate not having her consider me as a godless heathen... which she doesn't... at least not that I know of.

[Asmodean]

Hi.  

[Category]

Hi.  

[Tank]

Welcome! Aboard, sorry I'm a bit late with the greeting