Its Annoying When...

[Crow]

but when you think calling me gay hurts me, it's actually hurting my gay or lesbian friends.

Well, it was nothing personal. 



I have not been called gay since middle school but a gay guy at a party did tell me he thought I was handsome.  Needless to say I was flattered.  I never understood why homophobes got so flustered when gays hit on them.  A complement is a complement.  My only guess is that the anger comes in response to that gnawing recognition that they like the attention of another man a little *too* much for their own comfort.    But I digress

I have had similar experiences, re: your complimenting  interlocutor , and I thoroughly agree.  I could never understand why guys get so flustered.  I would always point out to others that if they truly were made uncofortable by the attention, they should keep that mind the next time they hit on a woman.

Well, I come from the American South which is somewhat more conservative.  So if a gay guy initiated physical contact with me I would be somewhat uncomfortable.  But I'm also uncomfortable when a woman I'm not famaliar with initiates physical contact and I'm not expecting it.  So I can understand it in that sense.  But some guys have a viceral reaction to a gay man simply trying to flirt with them and it really seems to come from some deeper insecurity about their heterosexuality.

I'm English, and almost stereotypically reserved! I also grew up during a time when homophobia was not only considered acceptable, but often openly encouraged by the very people who should be setting a better example, such as teachers. I have said elsewhere that I have been "tainted by homophobia", in itself not shameful, but I try hard not to react thoughtlessly, which would be.
So I can understand straight men being flustered, but, like you, I think the aggression comes from fear.

video response (from the film a single man)
http://youtu.be/nMoOuls0pcI

[The Magic Pudding]

And then there's this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic_defense

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=murder+defence+homosexual+advance&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

I wonder what other wonderful defenses could be inspired by this?
He asked if I wanted fries with that, I had to kill him, fries are high in cholesterol, it was self defense.
He had a stupid wig on and chunky gold jewelery, I felt so dirty, I had to kill him.
She put Brussels sprouts on my plate, what else could I do?