A misguided fool.

[Melmoth]

My sister carries the terrible burden of being both attractive and female, which can often get her into awkward situations with ugly, desperate men. She finds this very frustrating, naturally, but for me it's a source of great amusement. Her flustered annoyance is endlessly entertaining.

Anyway, one of her housemates at the moment is this very strict Christian fellow. He's decided, as y'do, that he's "in love" with her. And in typical idiot male fashion, he assumes that she's somehow obliged to him for this. He's also threatened to kill himself and/or run away back to Ireland if she doesn't reciprocate, which only invited her to encourage him. Trouble is, not only does he expect her to reciprocate, he also expects her to convert to Christianity! So here we have perhaps the worst attempt at emotional blackmail ever conceived. On the one hand he's saying, "If you don't go out with me, I'll kill myself!" while on the other he's saying, "I can't go out with you until you accept Jesus." On exactly what fucking planet do people like this live?

The effect: she and her friends now bully him relentlessly. And she hates him. I don't know what he expected.

Has anyone else had any similar experiences dealing with Christian suitors, male or female?

[AnimatedDirt]

On the one hand he's saying, "If you don't go out with me, I'll kill myself!" while on the other he's saying, "I can't go out with you until you accept Jesus." On exactly what fucking planet do people like this live?

The kind where imperfect people live and play, inclusive of Christians.  He's an odd one for sure.  I'd be wary of this "Christian".  Not all people who profess to be something, are.

[xSilverPhinx]

This guys looks a little weird, I would tell her to be wary.

[Tank]

This guys looks a little weird, I would tell her to be wary.

A classic of understatement!

[Ihateyoumike]

On the one hand he's saying, "If you don't go out with me, I'll kill myself!" while on the other he's saying, "I can't go out with you until you accept Jesus." On exactly what fucking planet do people like this live?

The kind where imperfect people live and play, inclusive of Christians.  He's an odd one for sure.  I'd be wary of this "Christian".  Not all people who profess to be something, are.

Yeah, don't you know that the only true christian is the one that's just like ol' Dirt here?
Don't blame the christian for the emotional blackmail of your sister (even though he's using his christianity) as part of it... no, the guy is simply just not a true christian. It's just a game he plays cause he thinks it's funny.

[Whitney]

I had a guy threaten to kill himself if I stuck to my plan to quit dating him...I told him to not make idle threats, hung up, and blocked his number (and instructed my parents not to take his calls since I was still in high school). For the record, he didn't kill himself; but I only know this because I ran into him at a store a couple years later.

I'm guessing housemate means he lives in the same apartment as her?  If so, she need to kick that creepy guy out.  People who threaten to kill themselves can be a danger to those around them because if they are mentally unstable enough to kill themselves they could be unstable enough to cause harm to others in order to get what they want.

[xSilverPhinx]

The kind where imperfect people live and play, inclusive of Christians.  He's an odd one for sure.  I'd be wary of this "Christian".  Not all people who profess to be something, are.

Being a Christian doesn't make one immune from being dangerously unstable.

This guys looks a little weird, I would tell her to be wary.

A classic of understatement!

I don't like sounding like an alarmist, but yes, it's one hell of an understatement.

I'm guessing housemate means he lives in the same apartment as her?  If so, she need to kick that creepy guy out.  People who threaten to kill themselves can be a danger to those around them because if they are mentally unstable enough to kill themselves they could be unstable enough to cause harm to others in order to get what they want.

Creepy's the word. 

I've seen creepier, but if he's being that possessive of her (insisting that she reciprocate and convert to his ideology) then it goes a little beyond 'creepy'.  I think she should take active measures against him.

[AnimatedDirt]

Yeah, don't you know that the only true christian is the one that's just like ol' Dirt here?

Being a Christian doesn't make one immune from being dangerously unstable.

In hindsight, it did sound as such and is wrong of me to say.  It isn't my place to determine his/her place with God.
Simply put, we all don't always act as we should...especially Christians.

[Cooper20]

"I'm Christain and I'll kill myself"
Sinning much... 

[Crow]

"I'm Christain, I expect fornication and I'll kill myself"
Sinning much... 

[Stevil]

It's incredibly common that people say things like that, I know of two people that have said they would kill themselves if a person doesn't go out with or continue going out with them. It is emotional balckmail, the other person becomes scared of guilt in case the blackmailer goes through with it. I would say luckily it hasn't happened to me, but then again I don't think luck had anything to do with it. I can see how being incredibly beautiful could be somewhat of a curse, in that way I am blessed, a little too blessed for my liking 

[SoTheyTellMe]

"I'm Christain and I'll kill myself"
Sinning much...  

What kind of Christian actually sins?  ???

Seriously, though. You should tell her to use this against him. And I've been in this situation before. Maybe this guy is an idiot, but he's still a person so it's frustrating when it happens to you. The way I approach it is by simply saying "You will not make this threat anymore, or I will refuse to talk to you. It's your choice to kill yourself, I have absolutely nothing to do with this decision. Saying that you can't live for anyone but me isn't romantic, it just shows that you have a deep emotional problem."

Then again I'm told that I'm way too blunt.

But yes, this has happened to me before. I was breaking up with a guy because he had major emotional problems that he refused to address. I told him I'd reconsider dating him if he essentially matured first (I'm such a nice person, right?). He responds by having an emotional breakdown, saying that he will kill himself if he can't be with me (what a surprise!).

I still broke up with him, and essentially said the above ^, except he already knew I thought he had an emotional problem so I left that second part out. I told him his concept of love was seriously messed up and I didn't want someone who was so dependent.

He didn't kill himself and I hear he began growing some balls. Win win, right? 

[Melmoth]

@Stevil: Nonsense; no one as smart as you should ever think of themselves as unattractive. Ugliness is just self-depreciation. Which is why good, wholesome people never get any sex.

And yes, it is a very common tactic. Particularly with men, for some reason. I think this might be because self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy are more common among men than they seem to be among women, at least in abstract terms of their personality, general manliness and so on. People only rely on dishonesty when the truth somehow shames them.

@whitney & SoTheyTellMe: Sound advice.

I'm not worried that he'll actually do it, incidentally. I don't think anyone, in a suicidal frame of mind, could even pretend to care about something so trivial as a crumbling relationship. That would just be a drop in the sea to them. Genuinely suicidal people don't look at it as a decision, or as one option that they've carefully weighed against others. They see it as the only solution to the problem of their own existence. It seems inevitable and unavoidable, regardless of what happens in their lives because, from their perspective, absolutely nothing could make them want to live. They simply do not give a fuck. "Oh no, this person won't respond to me romantically!" is just bullshit. It's pathetic.

If you broke up with someone and all they did was shrug their shoulders and wave you on, then you'd have more reason to be concerned.