Here I am and hello

[hatstand]

Well here I am, a new atheist. I thought I might introduce myself with my bit of blurb to say hello.

A little bit about me. I wasn’t brought up with any religion. But did send my kids to a catholic school as it was the best in the area. I always felt and possibly believed that there is something. I now believe there isn’t and never was. I can now feel “this is it”.

I don’t mean “this is it” in a bleak oh my god I feel so empty way. I mean, I feel free. I feel like I can’t see things as being linked anymore. Which is strange. Before, I could almost see patterns emerging when “god” was trying to show me the way. I now know it was just coincidences and change. A random pattern of events that I put meaning to by seeing them as being driven by something other than me.

It’s odd but, as a “new atheist” I almost feel scared to do so. Like it’s wrong. Strange what society can do to you without actually doing anything. But I suppose that’s just my newbie atheist feelings getting to work.

I loved the “god is santa for adults” on the front page! Brilliant.

[Tank]

Welcome hatstand

Having never been a believer I find stories like yours interesting, the realisation moment you have had that what you thought was going on simply wasn't! Must be a scary moment!

Useful links for new members
Mission Statement Why this place is here.
Forum Rules More of a set of guidelines really, upset Whitney (She who must be obeyed) and you'll find the exit door very quickly!
How do I use the quote feature? If you are new to forums this is an important feature to understand. The maximum number of nested quotes is 3.
Help desk. Any problems this is where to ask them.
What's on your mind today? The general chit chat thread.
Somewhere to discuss the fear of dying. Many ex-theists have to come to terms with death, this is a place to discuss this issue.
How to tell your family you are an atheist. Some suggestions about how to deal with this thorny issue.
Parenting Beyond Belief. The forum for discussing how to raise your children 'Faith Free'.
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[hatstand]

Hi Tank,

I guess at 45 years old and having a life of being expected to believe by society friends etc. It’s hard to acknowledge that I don’t actually believe in god. It’s almost like I want something to replace it. But I find that, to replace the void where there might once have been something.

My belief that there was something. Was exactly that, a belief. When I find out things that I thought where true. What replaces the belief is, just another belief. As an atheist I can no more prove there isn’t a god than a believer can prove there is.

The day I admitted to myself that I don’t believe in god was a strange one. As I was almost scared to even think it, in case “he” was listening. As I write this, I’m still aware of a kind of “naughty boy” feeling going on. Like I’m doing something I shouldn’t.

[Tank]

Well I'm 50 and have never believed and I can assure you feeling you're being watched when you do something wrong is entirely normal  
Are you in the USA? If so you're either up really late or really early.

[hatstand]

I'm in the UK and it's morning time.

I think I have a lot more to read on the forums to help be get adjusted to not believing. I keep hearing john Cleese in The life of Brian shouting non-believer.

It’s like a whole new way of thinking and being. If that doesn’t sound to dramatic.

[Tank]

I'm in the UK and it's morning time.

I think I have a lot more to read on the forums to help be get adjusted to not believing. I keep hearing john Cleese in The life of Brian shouting non-believer.

It’s like a whole new way of thinking and being. If that doesn’t sound to dramatic.

I'm in the UK too, so at least we're in the same time zone!

I have a number of de-converted friends all over the world. One in particular was deeply, deeply embedded in her faith. She found her way out at 35(ish) and has been 'woo free' since then. She went through all kinds of mental and emotional anguish both before and after her escape. She once said to me that she finally felt free when she felt that nobody was watch her over her shoulder all the time, that was about 3 years after she admitted to herself that she was no longer a believer. Other people have told me the same thing or written it on forums that I have participated in. So while out from under the cloud you should expect to be in it's shadow for a while yet. Do you have one thought about your new world view that keeps bubbling to the front of your mind?

[Businessocks]

HI and welcome.  I just recently fully admitted to myself (and a few others) out loud that I really don't believe, so I understand the feelings you've expressed quite well.  It's hard to completely shake all the years and worry of a big guy in the sky watching and waiting to strike you down, even when you don't believe it.  This place has definitely helped me shake a lot of those remaining twinges of fear.  I hope to see you around on here more!

[The Black Jester]

Welcome!  I also had similar feelings of trespassing on something taboo when I began to doubt, which eventually passed.  Such feelings were reawakened a few years ago when I entered recovery for alcoholism.  Since most recovery programs are 12-step based, and rely heavily on supernatural concepts, for the first few years in sobriety I constantly felt like I wasn't "doing it right," since I didn't believe in god.  It's still difficult sometimes, and I'm still hesitant to bring it up my lack of belief in that context - not because I'm truly afraid of offending someone (most A.A. folks are pretty blase about non-belief), but because I feel like I am somehow betraying the group.

[Martin TK]

I'm in the UK and it's morning time.

I think I have a lot more to read on the forums to help be get adjusted to not believing. I keep hearing john Cleese in The life of Brian shouting non-believer.

It’s like a whole new way of thinking and being. If that doesn’t sound to dramatic.

Actually, you are experiencing a very REAL and somewhat physical, reaction to a type of mental withdrawal.  It is similar to being taken from a cult, and I find religion to be the worst cult of them all, and having to begin to make your own decisions and way in life without the "guidance" of the cult.

Even if you were not indoctrinated officially early in life, I get the idea that you had some association with religion, probably early in life, and you certainly "saw" god in many things.  What you are feeling is perfectly normal, and I suggest that several things will help, being here is one, and reading as much "freethought" literature as you can is the other.  Surround yourself with as much scientific evidence for evolution as you can stomach, and join as many atheist societies as possible.  I recommend Dawkins' number of writings and Dan Barker's Godless as good starting points.

You may or may not ever truly do away with that slight, nagging, voice in the back of your mind that say, "what if," but you will have a greater fulfillment of life, and understanding, and freedom by tossing off the shackles of religion.  Good luck, and know that many of us here, share your story, and are here to help.  Just ask.

[Martin TK]

Also, and I meant to include this, but be mindful that as you begin to express your new found "non-faith" you may find that some of your so called friends, will abandon you, or certainly begin to think of you in a different way.  If you are lucky you won't have to deal with it, but don't be surprised if you do.

As for myself, I lost a great deal of my family and one of my children and his wife, when I "came out" of the atheist closet.  Do I ever regret it?  NO, never, and I always look at their small mindedness as an evil eventuality of their own faith.  The old saying, "Be true to thyself" is never more real than at this time.  I have studied the bible, perhaps more than MOST theists, and I can say with certainty, "I have lost faith in faith."  Good luck.

[pinkocommie]

Welcome!  I hope you like it here, it's a very supportive place.  

[Tank]

Welcome!  I hope you like it here, it's a very supportive place.  





 

[GAYtheist]

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!
Fremde, etranger, stranger.
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay.

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret

...sorry...sorry...its the gay showing again...

[hatstand]

Can I just say a big thank you to you all taking the time to read and reply. It is really appreciated.

All of your words have struck a note with me. Luckily for me my friends and family are supportive and tell me to believe what I want to believe and be happy. The hard bit, is a point “Martin TK” makes about the cult. I was always “told” that there is a god and so I blindly believed. I guess after so many years of being told something is the truth. You stop questioning and just go with the flow. It reminds me of the myth of the cave, as per Plato. I guess I’m just the kind of person who wants to look outside the cave.

Can I just ask if anyone has any books they would recommend. I’ll be happy to take their advice. I’m currently reading the God Delusion. Which is good. I find when I read a good book. It’s like another light bulb has been switched on and I can see and feel clearer.

[Tank]

If you are interested in evolution then I would recommend 'Why Evolution is True' by Jerry Coyne.