Oh, God, I'm a Racist.

[Renegnicat]

I feel terrible. It's happened again. Again, for the love of god. This is the second time I've said something that was racist on a forum. Not inentionally, but it was insensitive and offensive enough, and I feel so sick that my stomach has been churning. I feel like I'm going to throw up. But it has to be true... if it's happened a second time, then there must be something wrong. I'm upset and I'm scared, because if I can say something insensitive to other races twice, that doesn't bode well.

Am I Racist? Oh god, I'm about as uninformed towards other cultures as your average american. Being a minority myself is no excuse; I don't want to be racist, and I don't want to hurt others, but sometimes I use racial epithets like "chink" and "spik", usually when I am talking about how words meant to degrade others snowball into a giant mass of seething connotations that hurt the people they are aimed at, to the point where even if one says it in a friendly way, it can still be a horrible experience.

And I used them! Oh fucking god, I USED THEM! I've never actually called anyone a racial epithet, but I feel like I'm a monster. What's worse, I've offended others for my use of them. I never meant to hurt anyone. Often I use words with pungent connotations because of the very offensiveness they cause. And it's all my fault.

It's not meant to be offensive. It's meant to point out the arbitrariness of a set of sounds with emotions like anger, and sadness, humiliation and guilt. And now look what it's done. I want to say that I'll never ever mention race with anyone ever again. But something in me is hurt very much when people have such strong reactions to these words. These words have special meaning to me, because they are the words that people react to, without ever sizing up the person using them.

It makes me feel invisible. It's like people judge the words, and anyone who says them, and though I feel horrible for using them, I also feel betrayed and hurt myself by these people. The internet is a place where it is very difficult to size up a person , and very easy to size up a person's words. It's that invisibility that hurt's me more than anything. And I feel that if I give in, that If I cease to make these marks with pungent connotations, that I will never really be seen.

I hate life. I wish I could die.

[AlP]

I don't use words like that because they are dysphemisms. In my view they have no place in communicating with other people unless one is attempting an unsophisticated rhetoric that might appeal to an unsophisticated person. I understand your idea that it is absurd that a sound should have such negative meaning. But that's how language and meaning work. I'm not sure if I understand your goal here? Why not just use words that have no negative or positive connotations when discussing sensitive topics? Or are you trying to point out that the words should not have a these connotations? They do. Euphemisms and dysphemisms are words with negative or positive connotations tacked on to the literal meaning. The connotation is part of the meaning.

Sorry you feel bad =(.

[Renegnicat]

That's a good point. It makes sense that words like that shouldn't be used when there are more specific words one could use. I never really thought of it that way.

It's all right. Writing that post was therapeutic for me. But it strikes me as the writing of a silly teenage mellodrama when I read it again.  

[Will]

This honkey-ass cracker doesn't really think a few occasional slips a racist make. Do you believe that any races are intellectually or inherently superior to others? No? You're not a racist.

[Ninteen45]

Racism is stupid. No, really.

I mean, Stating the obvious isn't insulting to me at all. I remember some Asian shopkeep Began yelling at me because a person I was with was tapping the windows. He screamed "Get lost, whitey!" I just turned arouind and told him he gets a medal for the fucking obvious.

It's an insult along the lines of big nose, fatso and moron.

They only problem is that years of ingraining it as something BIG!(tm) has screwed it up.

[joeactor]

This honkey-ass cracker doesn't really think a few occasional slips a racist make. Do you believe that any races are intellectually or inherently superior to others? No? You're not a racist.

As a towel-head, I'd like to chime it.

Racist?  Well, yes, I think I am.  Actually, I think we all have pre-conceived notions related to race.  I'm just honest enough to admit it.

Are there differences between races?  Yes.  Does this mean that an individual will exhibit those traits?  Questionable.

I have a real problem with all the P.C. crap.  We're different.  Let's celebrate it, use it to our advantage.  No need to be over sensitive about it.  Al this equality nonsense just slows us down.  We're not equal, but we do have equal rights.  Big difference.

Example: my wife (who's Asian) is much better at math than I am.  Cool - good for her.  It may be due in part to the language, part to genetics, etc.  Why should I care?  She's better.  I'm better at other things.

Sunday Rant Terminated!
JoeActor

[Big Mac]

This honkey-ass cracker doesn't really think a few occasional slips a racist make. Do you believe that any races are intellectually or inherently superior to others? No? You're not a racist.

As a towel-head, I'd like to chime it.

Racist?  Well, yes, I think I am.  Actually, I think we all have pre-conceived notions related to race.  I'm just honest enough to admit it.

Are there differences between races?  Yes.  Does this mean that an individual will exhibit those traits?  Questionable.

I have a real problem with all the P.C. crap.  We're different.  Let's celebrate it, use it to our advantage.  No need to be over sensitive about it.  Al this equality nonsense just slows us down.  We're not equal, but we do have equal rights.  Big difference.

Example: my wife (who's Asian) is much better at math than I am.  Cool - good for her.  It may be due in part to the language, part to genetics, etc.  Why should I care?  She's better.  I'm better at other things.

Sunday Rant Terminated!
JoeActor

Er.....I don't disagree with most of what you said. Most races tend to be inherently different. I think Asians are good at math because they also focus on it quite heavily in school. I've known Asians here who are as dumb as a rock and couldn't do basic variables to save their lives.

That said, I love a good racist joke among friends. Some of the best black jokes were told to me by....black people. You hang around enough Mexicans (like me) and you'll hear some pretty funny Mexican jokes. I think it's fun because in a weird way that kind of humor helps ease tension. A smile is the first step to friendship.

I agree, PC nonsense irritates me. The "African-American" thing is dumb. THey're usually not from Africa. We don't go around saying the European Americans or the South American Americans, do we? People are black, white, latino, asian, middle-eastern/persian/arab/whatever else, etc. This long-winded way of saying "He's got dark skin" is kind of racist to me.

So.....Joe....I was looking for the best way to ride a camel..... How much should I tip a belly-dancer and what's the best way to haggle in a flea market?

[joeactor]

So.....Joe....I was looking for the best way to ride a camel..... How much should I tip a belly-dancer and what's the best way to haggle in a flea market?

MAY THE FLEAS OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INFEST YOUR ARMPITS!!!

Yeah, humor is an important social lubricant.
+1 on your post Big Mac...

[Renegnicat]

That's almost my exact sentiments. Politicall correct language may be trying to hard to appease minorities, but I think everyone has preconcieved notions about pretty much everything. I guess we're all RACISTS, then!  

*laughs*

[AlP]

Here's a fun game to see how racist we are! It's called an Implicit Association Test and its one of the most diabolical things psychology has given us. Yay!

Part 1: decide whether the words from the second line down should go under the left or right column. This is easy.

Code Select Expand

Male    Female
....John......
....Bob.......
....Amy.......
....Holly.....
....Joan......
....Derreck...
....Peggy.....

Part 2: do the same thing but with two categories.

Code Select Expand

European    African
American    American
or Good     or Bad
........Hurt........
...Michael Jackson..
.......Glorius......
........Evil........
....Ronald Reagan...
......Wonderful.....
......Barak Obama...
......Successful....
.......Criminal.....
.....Intelligent....

Part 3: same again but with a change to the column headings. Now bad is on the left.

Code Select Expand

European    African
American    American
or Bad      or Good
........Hurt........
...Michael Jackson..
.......Glorius......
........Evil........
....Ronald Reagan...
......Wonderful.....
......Barak Obama...
......Successful....
.......Criminal.....
.....Intelligent....

I hope that you aren't faster at one than the other! Keep trying it, alternating between part 2 and part 3. We're all racist see. I'd be interested to know which one our white and black members are faster at =).

[Big Mac]

The only thing I wouldn't feel too guilty about is the Jews. They takes all da monies and have secret caves they hide it in. That and the Swedes. Bunch of Nordics...