A poetic look at death

[liveyoungdiefast]

I don't know if this would be the right place to post it but it seems more right than anywhere else. This is a poem I wrote, the first half deals with a suicide bomber and the second half deals with a dying preacher. Tell me what you think, even if you think it sucks.


A warrior for the one true faith
Under his skin, a vengeful wraith
Rage embodied on his chest
Wrath of God under his vest
His final minutes on the Earth
Flame catharsis, hallowed rebirth
Marching forward in divine submission
One last prayer to seal his mission

Martyr for a life draining lie
And seconds of life left
So he can ask himself "Why?"
Witness now his dying breath
Through the layers of smoke he cries
No paradise is in the sky
No angel carries him away
When there's nothing left at all

"Through ancient sin we've lost our worth"
So he sold thousands holy rebirth
But avarice, his one true Lord
Living best life he could afford
He kept his sheep consumed with fear
"With each day the end draws ever near"
His glorious rapture never came
But sickness consumed him all the same

Luxuries, unending wealth
Perhaps the prayers he half believed
But they would not save his health
Deceiver or deceived?
From his lonely bed, he sighs
No ascension to the skies
Unsaved as anyone else
Soon there's nothing left at all

[Ihateyoumike]

Martyr for a life draining lie
And seconds of life left
So he can ask himself "Why?"
Witness now his dying breath
Through the layers of smoke he cries
No paradise is in the sky
No angel carries him away
When there's nothing left at all

Well done, very good poem. I especially liked the above segment. Keep up the good work.  

[Sophus]

I agree. Very nice. Keep cranking the poetry.


Here's mine (pulling out of my ass right now)  

Don't let them memes get in your head
If there's one thing that's certain
It's when you're dead, you're dead