Saying 'No' And Setting Boundaries

[xSilverPhinx]

"I'd really love to help you with this xSilverPhinx, but I'm dreadfully sorry, I just don't have time in my schedule at the moment."

I'm dreadfully sorry but I really don't have time to deal with this.

Neither does His Omnigrumpiliciousness, but He refuses to be sorry for that. Not even the dreadful kind of sorrow, which He is a God of. 

Maybe I ought to pray to a lump of clay, modeled in your image.     



*clears throat*

Oh, Divine Lump,
Hallowed be thy clay.
I beseech you, help me to say "nope" to those who expect me to say "sure".
Or at least let them give me monies for my efforts.

Thy will be done
Till Luxembourg's demise comes to pass.
I will open a pot of Play-Doh  and squish it between my fingers in your honour.

Ah-smo


Is that how this praying thing goes? 

[xSilverPhinx]

I have no advice as I'm terrible at this myself and if anything I've got worse as I've got older. If you find the secret, let me know!

I may not have found the secret but I'm thinking every time someone asks for me to do something on my time I will feign a narcoleptic fit. 

[Sandra Craft]

I have no advice as I'm terrible at this myself and if anything I've got worse as I've got older. If you find the secret, let me know!

I may not have found the secret but I'm thinking every time someone asks for me to do something on my time I will feign a narcoleptic fit. 

You mean like at .40 here?

[Nam]

The question relating to this thread is simple: how do you say 'no' to people you want to please?

I'm not out to please anyone. Don't feel alone. It's idiomatic to most people; not people like me, we don't care. But if you don't want to do something, to please someone in a certain way, then don't. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. Selfishness on their part.

-Nam

[xSilverPhinx]

I have no advice as I'm terrible at this myself and if anything I've got worse as I've got older. If you find the secret, let me know!

I may not have found the secret but I'm thinking every time someone asks for me to do something on my time I will feign a narcoleptic fit. 

You mean like at .40 here?

Exactly like that! 

[xSilverPhinx]

The question relating to this thread is simple: how do you say 'no' to people you want to please?

I'm not out to please anyone. Don't feel alone. It's idiomatic to most people; not people like me, we don't care. But if you don't want to do something, to please someone in a certain way, then don't. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. Selfishness on their part.

-Nam

I'm not out to please everybody, there are loads of people whose thoughts I couldn't care less about, the problem is when people that I like and do want to please ask me to do stuff for them.

[Asmodean Prime]

*clears throat*

Oh, Divine Lump,
Hallowed be thy clay.
I beseech you, help me to say "nope" to those who expect me to say "sure".
Or at least let them give me monies for my efforts.

Thy will be done
Till Luxembourg's demise comes to pass.
I will open a pot of Play-Doh  and squish it between my fingers in your honour.

Ah-smo


Is that how this praying thing goes? 

Hm.  Fine.  Here is what you do:

1. Grumpily tell them "NO!" In no uncertain terms, mind you.
2. When they persist, grumpily tell them to fuck off. Use words like "asshole" where necessary.
3. Victory. If not, re-evaluate their request.
4. If still disinclined to indulge them, start at 1, but add more grumpiness.
5. Victory. If not, return to 3.

[Nam]

The question relating to this thread is simple: how do you say 'no' to people you want to please?

I'm not out to please anyone. Don't feel alone. It's idiomatic to most people; not people like me, we don't care. But if you don't want to do something, to please someone in a certain way, then don't. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. Selfishness on their part.

-Nam

...the problem is when people that I like and do want to please ask me to do stuff for them.

It's a give/take relationship: if they give little to nothing back then you're their friend but they're not your friend. You understand?

Also, you shouldn't have to please anyone. They take you as you are or they don't. If they try to change you, or you wish for them to change to suit you, that isn't friendship, it's more like parasitical interactions..

-Nam

[xSilverPhinx]

*clears throat*

Oh, Divine Lump,
Hallowed be thy clay.
I beseech you, help me to say "nope" to those who expect me to say "sure".
Or at least let them give me monies for my efforts.

Thy will be done
Till Luxembourg's demise comes to pass.
I will open a pot of Play-Doh  and squish it between my fingers in your honour.

Ah-smo


Is that how this praying thing goes? 

Hm.  Fine.  Here is what you do:

1. Grumpily tell them "NO!" In no uncertain terms, mind you.
2. When they persist, grumpily tell them to fuck off. Use words like "asshole" where necessary.
3. Victory. If not, re-evaluate their request.
4. If still disinclined to indulge them, start at 1, but add more grumpiness.
5. Victory. If not, return to 3.

[xSilverPhinx]

The question relating to this thread is simple: how do you say 'no' to people you want to please?

I'm not out to please anyone. Don't feel alone. It's idiomatic to most people; not people like me, we don't care. But if you don't want to do something, to please someone in a certain way, then don't. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. Selfishness on their part.

-Nam

...the problem is when people that I like and do want to please ask me to do stuff for them.

It's a give/take relationship: if they give little to nothing back then you're their friend but they're not your friend. You understand?

Also, you shouldn't have to please anyone. They take you as you are or they don't. If they try to change you, or you wish for them to change to suit you, that isn't friendship, it's more like parasitical interactions..

-Nam

That's just the way I am, I want to please people I like. It's more about me changing that about myself rather than other people wanting me to change to suit their purposes, or me wanting to change others. 

[xSilverPhinx]

I did it! People wanted me to work for the third Saturday in a row and I told them "Hell no! Are you guys out of your minds?"

Well, I didn't use those words exactly, and left out the second part altogether, but something to that effect. 

So now I'm home, still in my PJs, enjoying having nothing to do.

[Tank]

I did it! People wanted me to work for the third Saturday in a row and I told them "Hell no! Are you guys out of your minds?"

Well, I didn't use those words exactly, and left out the second part altogether, but something to that effect. 

So now I'm home, still in my PJs, enjoying having nothing to do.

Well done!

[xSilverPhinx]

I did it! People wanted me to work for the third Saturday in a row and I told them "Hell no! Are you guys out of your minds?"

Well, I didn't use those words exactly, and left out the second part altogether, but something to that effect. 

So now I'm home, still in my PJs, enjoying having nothing to do.

Well done!

Strangely enough nobody gave me the look, cursed or spit fire in my general direction when I refused. It wasn't a seven-headed monster.

Sometimes I let my imagnation run a little rampant.