ChurchFriends.com

[Jassman]

Google's AdSense sometimes makes some pretty stupid decisions (because it just finds keywords on pages and tries to match that with its ads). This leads to thinks like

http://www.churchfriends.com

being advertised at a forum for Atheism (this one). The website is a Christian dating site. So, since I have a few days off and it's a boring Friday morning, my curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on the ad to check it out.

Some of these people's situations are sad. Not because they have been dealt a bad hand, but because they have made their lives lonelier than they need to be. Here's a post by one of their users:

I was raised to believe sex out side marriage -and divorce -and adultry doing drugs was wrong and smoking was bad - and you should never do wrong or bad things , so i have never done these things - but I may be alone and unloved for the rest of my life, because I can not find any woman that hasnt had children or sex out side marriage and have done drugs or been divorced - where are all the good woman - is my only choice for a life is to marry a bad woman - and feel unconfortable for the rest of my life ,-so for me sex out side marriage is wrong - every time you have sex you make intermate close conections which never leave you - so you can never totaly love the person your with unless the last person youloved is dead - and even then you will miss in some way the last person you loved - i believe - so ,sex out side marriage is totally wrong - so now I miss love and wish love and wish that i was dead - because i cant find a good woman to love - God willing he will grant me love soon before i get to old and or die - every one needs love and contact with others god hurts those who love and follow him the most -why is god evil to those that love and follow him ??? answer me that batman -said the riddler ????

Grammar problems aside, it is quite obvious that this person is confused, lonely, and has swallowed their religious dogma hook, line, and sinker.

This man is 42 and he is looking for someone (presumably close to his age) that meets these criteria:

-virgin
-has never smoked a single cigarette
-has never done a single drug
-is a Catholic, or at least a Christian (I'm assuming, based on this post and others he has made)

His search is most likely not going to be fruitful. This level of 'pickiness' basically rules out everyone (everyone's made a mistake right?).

adultry doing drugs was wrong and smoking was bad - and you should never do wrong or bad things

He is deluded by his wish of a perfect companion, someone who has "never done wrong or bad things".

where are all the good woman

They are probably all around him if only he were to adjust his standards a bit. Good does not equal perfect. If he wants perfect, he chose the wrong universe to exist in.

every time you have sex you make intermate close conections which never leave you - so you can never totaly love the person your with unless the last person youloved is dead - and even then you will miss in some way the last person you loved

This sounds exactly like the Teen Aid abstinence-only sex education that I received in highschool. If you have sex with someone, you can never love the next person with your whole heart. His mind has been poisoned by people he trusted. Now he's 42 and has a distorted sense of reality.

So Christians, which is it? You can't equate sex to love and in the same breath turn one hundred and eighty degrees and say there is a huge difference between sex and love. It's one or the other. You can't have it both ways.

God willing he will grant me love soon before i get to old and or die - every one needs love and contact with others god hurts those who love and follow him the most -why is god evil to those that love and follow him ??? answer me that batman -said the riddler ????

This man is contemplating his mortality and his feeling of being let down by his (perceived) creator. This is the prime non-war example of when religion really hurts. If this man found out that his god was imaginary, he could significantly improve his quality of life. He could see the women around him as people. People with faults and strengths, not just the former.



Since when does clicking on ads out of boredom result in a rant this long?

[MommaSquid]

This man is 42 and he is looking for someone (presumably close to his age) that meets these criteria:

-virgin
-has never smoked a single cigarette
-has never done a single drug
-is a Catholic, or at least a Christian (I'm assuming, based on this post and others he has made) .

I met his criteria when I was 13.  


(I tried smoking at 14; luckily that didn’t take.)

[Whitney]

I feel sorry for that guy, even if he finds someone who meets his criteria that person may not be compatible with his personality.

[Court]

every time you have sex you make intermate close conections which never leave you - so you can never totaly love the person your with unless the last person youloved is dead - and even then you will miss in some way the last person you loved

This sounds exactly like the Teen Aid abstinence-only sex education that I received in highschool. If you have sex with someone, you can never love the next person with your whole heart. His mind has been poisoned by people he trusted. Now he's 42 and has a distorted sense of reality.

So Christians, which is it? You can't equate sex to love and in the same breath turn one hundred and eighty degrees and say there is a huge difference between sex and love. It's one or the other. You can't have it both ways.

It sounds like the same crap I got fed as well. I soon realized that sex and love are not the same thing, but they sure are better together. You can have love without sex and sex without love, but everything sort of clicks when you have both.
Have you seen the Penn & Teller episode of Bullshit on abstinence? It's hilarious and points out the massive problems with abstinence-based sex ed; I just watched it the other day with my boyfriend. I'm going to try and go find it...

[Jassman]

Yeah, the Bullshit! episode is great. Every Bullshit! episode is, though.

[Court]

Well, for those who haven't seen it: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... r+bullshit

[Court]

Yeah, the Bullshit! episode is great. Every Bullshit! episode is, though.

I've only seen a few, but I agree.

[Big Mac]

I find it hilarious. I grew up in South Texas yet I received better sex-ed than you guys in MIddle School.

Irony is such a bitch.

[Asmodean Prime]

Great vid.  I pity the teens that have been subjected to all of the abstinence hype, rather that receiving a broad-based sex education.

On the other hand, when I was a teen, there was no education whatsoever.  It was the sixties though, so we figured it out...

[Asmodean Prime]

I don't think sex is the same thing as love at all.   I think people make the mistake initally (when attracted to someone, for example) that their feelings of sexual attraction equate to love, only to find out later (usually with regret), that this is not the case at all.

Love is a totally different thing from sex.  Love is something we should practice towards all people, whereas sex, ideally, should be part of a committed, loving relationship.  You may disagree with me, but how many people have stated that they are in love with someone, when it's only a sexual relationship, only to go off the person and dump them later.

Seems that after all, this 'love' that they had for the person was not love at all, but lust (or sex).   Sex does not satisfy in the end, if it's a purely physical thing.

Love never ends.

[Court]

Love never ends.

That is the most naive thing I've ever heard. Who, above the age of 14, actually believes that?

[Court]

I don't think sex is the same thing as love at all.   I think people make the mistake initally (when attracted to someone, for example) that their feelings of sexual attraction equate to love, only to find out later (usually with regret), that this is not the case at all.

Love is a totally different thing from sex.  Love is something we should practice towards all people, whereas sex, ideally, should be part of a committed, loving relationship.  You may disagree with me, but how many people have stated that they are in love with someone, when it's only a sexual relationship, only to go off the person and dump them later.

Seems that after all, this 'love' that they had for the person was not love at all, but lust (or sex).   Sex does not satisfy in the end, if it's a purely physical thing.

Okay, I agree that this does happen. And often, especially at my age. However, I have discovered that real love, without sex, only hinders a relationship. It just creates too much, completely uneccessary stress and tension.
So, I think people just need to have better judgement. Or learn from their mistakes with "purely physical" relationships. It's much easier to identify a relationship based solely on lust once you've experienced it.

[Whitney]

It is very possible to love someone then grow out of love.  People change as they age and sometimes a couple finds themselves changing as individuals;  going along separate paths.  Sometimes these differences can be reconciled and the couple will fall in love again, other times they simply have grown too far apart.

People simply change...you can love the person they use to be yet not love who they have become.  This happens with friendships all the time, yet people have a hard time accepting that it can happen with family and spouses.

[Asmodean Prime]

When I said that love never ends, I was talking about real love.  The caring love that people should have for all people.....to quote the bible...."love does no harm to one's neighbour"

This kind of love should also apply to one's spouse.

Love never ends

[Big Mac]

Oh man, my eyes are watering up, must be all the salsa I'm eating right now. Love is a man-made concept that serves its purpose as long as you don't try to fit it into things it doesn't belong. Last time I did that, I had a stint in jail.