Need a translation check for a project... thanks!

[Easyligion.com]

Hello, I am from Italy. During these days I started to write few pages of a project called Easyligion, I did also try to translate in english but honestly don't think that my translation makes always sense...

I'd be pleased if someone would like to read and give me some correction about grammar and/or logic of sentences.

http://www.easyligion.com/eng/easyligion.html

Thanks in advance
Flavio

P.S.: Feel free also to write me about ideas about my non-religion. ;-)

[bitter_sweet_symphony]

English isn't my first language, so I may not be the best person to solve this problem. But I think you should review the following points in your essay.

IMO, the first line would better read as something like - Easyligion, which combines the words "easy (meant also as simple approach to the great life themes) and religion", is just a name to identify an alternative and modern way of thinking and living.

I think it is "pretext" and not "pretest" in the sentence "... pretext for economic/strategic objectives ..." Also you may want to review the phrase "masses sub-culture".

I think "good sense rules" can be substituted by "sensible rules".

Lastly, I think you should review the last sentence. In my opinion, its too complex and should be broken down into a few sentences.

[Easyligion.com]

Oh thanks... this is exactly the kind of help I am looking for, still am not sure if "good sense rules" is exactly what I meant, will work on it.
I'll use Your corrections if you don't mind. Thanks again

[Mister Joy]

It makes sense but it's still quite difficult to read sometimes. I think your problem comes from trying to use very long and over-complicated sentences. It leaves more margin for error and makes it slightly difficult for me to understand what you're saying. I agree with bitter_sweet_sumphony that the opening sentence is a bit tricky. I'd suggest simplifying it. Eg.

"The name 'Easyligion' - a combination of 'easy' and 'religion' - identifies an alternative, modern way of thinking and living." I think the bracketed section becomes apparent as you read on and isn't that necessary.

You'd do brilliantly if you made a point of doing this with the whole website. The second sentence of the opening paragraph, for instance, could probably be broken down into two much easier sentences.

One thing that would make simplifying your sentences easier is referring to previous points briefly, making use of the context, rather than re-expressing them as you've done here: "What we are trying to imagine and share is not a new religion, that honestly is not needed (indeed)". This would run more smoothly as "rather than adding fuel to the fire by giving you a new religion, we want to share a life philosophy... etc."

Just a little refining and you should be sorted Good luck with the site!

[Easyligion.com]

Thanks, guess I need someone that checks the whole english section... any idea? 'Cause think I should pay him... :-)

Bye and thanks again!

[Mister Joy]

I'll do it if you like. Sounds like fun . Either tell me how to contact you or email me at snilats@hotmail.com