The "Once upon a time..." thread.

[The Black Jester]

Anyhoo...I seem to have cut this thread, so I consider it incumbent upon me to make the repairs...

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.  Sultry monkeys violated my virginal mind. However harpsichords hammered  horrisonantly, jangling

[Ali]

horrisonantly

?

Horrisonantly:

1. Virtually never used adverbial inflection of the rarely used adjective horrisonant.

http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/horrisonantly


Well that clears it right up.  

horrisonant:

1. Horrisonous.[Websters]
2. Virtually never used base adjective of the rarely used adverb horrisonantly.

http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/horrisonant



Horrisonous:

1. Sounding dreadfully; uttering a terrible sound.[Websters]
2. Being hoarse. [Eve - graph theoretic]
3. Being coarse, harsh, rough or gruff. [Eve - graph theoretic]
4. Being sepulchral. [Eve - graph theoretic]
5. Being hollow. [Eve - graph theoretic]
6. Rarely used base adjective of the adverb horrisonously.

http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/Horrisonous

ALL THAT FOR "HOARSELY"?!?

Hoarsely doesn't do it. As the word itself suggests " horrible- sounding" is pretty close. But less erudite. And here at HAF we have exacting literary standards to maintain.

"ALL THAT FOR 'HORRIBLE-SOUNDING'?!?" she shrieked horrisonantly...

[Dobermonster]

Once I drove back to the decrepit remains of my grandmother's hamster themed wedding, urine gushing noisily, of course, because vaginas aren't watertight. There's Jasmine scented tea steeping with onions borrowed from Aunt Brunhilde, and poo-stained sheets in striking puse.  I frantically abused turtles by setting my power-drill on low before spinning into counter-clockwise rotational overdrive.  Antelopes beneath me; licorice above me; ormolus' buttons were pressed tentatively to release the hounds. Velveteen Rabbits came upon a mouldering skeleton clutching a penis-shaped pinata. "Surprise!"

"Holy Guacamole, Senor!" I mimed.  Sparkles, my dog, grinned wolfishly and hummed a dirge as the rabbits cavorted enticingly. Nymphets jostled insinuatingly around my butt crack, as usual.  Sadly they didn't forgo their scatological ruminations until gunshots sounded lovely.

Slithering against time bombs, I cocked back, aimed, and dribbled jam over my basque peoples of unknown origin. They screamed, understandably, as Newgod forgot to lock little fartleberries. Presumptuous cretins! Gargantuan midgets skipped into parliament dressed to the nines.  Sultry monkeys violated my virginal mind. However harpsichords hammered  horrisonantly, jangling with all the judicious

[En_Route]

horrisonantly

?

Horrisonantly:

1. Virtually never used adverbial inflection of the rarely used adjective horrisonant.

http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/horrisonantly


Well that clears it right up.  

horrisonant:

1. Horrisonous.[Websters]
2. Virtually never used base adjective of the rarely used adverb horrisonantly.

http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/horrisonant



Horrisonous:

1. Sounding dreadfully; uttering a terrible sound.[Websters]
2. Being hoarse. [Eve - graph theoretic]
3. Being coarse, harsh, rough or gruff. [Eve - graph theoretic]
4. Being sepulchral. [Eve - graph theoretic]
5. Being hollow. [Eve - graph theoretic]
6. Rarely used base adjective of the adverb horrisonously.

http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definitions/Horrisonous

ALL THAT FOR "HOARSELY"?!?

Hoarsely doesn't do it. As the word itself suggests " horrible- sounding" is pretty close. But less erudite. And here at HAF we have exacting literary standards to maintain.

"ALL THAT FOR 'HORRIBLE-SOUNDING'?!?" she shrieked horrisonantly...

"YES" he responded euphoniously (before she lost her tiny virgin mind).

[DeterminedJuliet]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

[The Black Jester]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

His word selection is entirely appropriate, in my opinion.  The more recondite and abstruse the story, the more mind-bending the effect.  Plus I love learning new vocabulary, and ER is a great resource.  And while ashamed of my ignorance, I am eager to overcome it...

[En_Route]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

Talk about people disowning responsibility for threads they have initiated! This one is down to you, Madame.

[En_Route]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

His word selection is entirely appropriate, in my opinion.  The more recondite and abstruse the story, the more mind-bending the effect.  Plus I love learning new vocabulary, and ER is a great resource.  And while ashamed of my ignorance, I am eager to overcome it...

Language is the only true infinitely renewable resource.

[The Black Jester]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

His word selection is entirely appropriate, in my opinion.  The more recondite and abstruse the story, the more mind-bending the effect.  Plus I love learning new vocabulary, and ER is a great resource.  And while ashamed of my ignorance, I am eager to overcome it...

Language is the only true infinitely renewable resource.

So it seems...

[DeterminedJuliet]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

Talk about people disowning responsibility for threads they have initiated! This one is down to you, Madame.

I meant franken-story in the best possible way  It just sort of... transcends genres.

[En_Route]

They say you have to write for your audience. I have no idea who the audience for this franken-story would be, so I can't comment on the appropriateness of ER's word selection. 

Talk about people disowning responsibility for threads they have initiated! This one is down to you, Madame.

I meant franken-story in the best possible way  It just sort of... transcends genres.

That's one way of putting it.