Happy Atheist Forum

Getting To Know You => Laid Back Lounge => Topic started by: En_Route on July 25, 2012, 06:02:55 PM

Title: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 25, 2012, 06:02:55 PM
A motor-car combined with washing machine and tumble- dryer, with backseats that reconfigure into an ironing board. Perfect for house- spouses who are caught in lengthy traffic jams on the school run or on the way to the out -of- town hypermarket to avail of Discount Day. It's one of those ideas that just seems so obvious once you hear it.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 25, 2012, 07:08:42 PM
A solar powered miner's lamp.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 25, 2012, 08:09:03 PM
Quote from: OldGit on July 25, 2012, 07:08:42 PM
A solar powered miner's lamp.

Visionary. Just don't mention it to any medical professionals.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Theta Sigma on July 25, 2012, 08:18:28 PM
A battery operated car that has a built-in generator.  The motion of the wheels recharges the battery. 

I'm sure there is some reason this wouldn't work, but I am not smart enough to know what it is.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Crow on July 25, 2012, 08:25:36 PM
Quote from: Theta Sigma on July 25, 2012, 08:18:28 PM
A battery operated car that has a built-in generator.  The motion of the wheels recharges the battery. 

I'm sure there is some reason this wouldn't work, but I am not smart enough to know what it is.

That's called a hybrid. But you still need petrol/gasoline as the kinetic energy from the wheels doesn't create enough energy to fully power the battery.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Theta Sigma on July 25, 2012, 08:45:53 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 25, 2012, 08:25:36 PM
That's called a hybrid. But you still need petrol/gasoline as the kinetic energy from the wheels doesn't create enough energy to fully power the battery.

I know what a hybrid is.  I meant a car that didn't need an external source of energy, but I suppose if that were possible... I'd have one.  Oh, well.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 25, 2012, 09:11:23 PM
An artificial leaf that fixates atmospheric carbon and turns it into glucose. Will hurl farmers to a whole new level.

A computerized pen that reads your mind and writes what you want without you having to hold it. Great for multitaskers.

Replace entire tissues with nanobotic cells. May have problems with viruses never seen before, though.

Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:07:22 AM
Battery operated socks that warm themselves.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Guardian85 on July 26, 2012, 12:20:33 AM
Uniforms with climate control.
The idea came to me at work last winter. At night. Outside. In the snow. And the wind.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:21:48 AM
See!  You need my self warming socks!
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:48:00 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

I'm looking for a position of Chief Sitter On Her Asser and Surf the Interneter, if you're hiring.  I need medical, dental, optical, and I want to work from home.  A Snack Allowance is preferable but negotiable.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 01:00:53 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:48:00 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

I'm looking for a position of Chief Sitter On Her Asser and Surf the Interneter, if you're hiring.  I need medical, dental, optical, and I want to work from home.  A Snack Allowance is preferable but negotiable.


I thought you'd already secured that position. But yes, it is  a de rigeur status symbol for plutocrats to be seen with an aide who is decorative but carries out no discernible  business function. I should warn you though, there is a strict dress code.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 26, 2012, 01:02:45 AM
Are you talking about my underpants again?  *raises eyebrow*
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 01:13:04 AM
I would dearly love to, but the walls have ears and loose talk costs lives.

Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: The Magic Pudding on July 26, 2012, 01:13:57 AM
Mine is akin to the car washing machine, 'tis a car with manoeuvrable vacuum hose with which I can steal desirable hats.  It's almost perfected except sometimes peoples heads block the intake if their hat's on too tight.  I'll probably add robot arms to grab legs and pull in opposition to the sucker.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 01:17:31 AM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on July 26, 2012, 01:13:57 AM
Mine is akin to the car washing machine, 'tis a car with manoeuvrable vacuum hose with which I can steal desirable hats.  It's almost perfected except sometimes peoples heads block the intake if their hat's on too tight.  I'll probably add robot arms to grab legs and pull in opposition to the sucker.

A niche product but if it deters people from the ridiculous affectation of wearing hats it should be well received.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 01:20:57 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 01:02:45 AM
Are you talking about my underpants again?  *raises eyebrow*

In fact, I can promise you that your lingerie will never be raised by me .



Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: The Magic Pudding on July 26, 2012, 01:22:42 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 01:17:31 AM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on July 26, 2012, 01:13:57 AM
Mine is akin to the car washing machine, 'tis a car with manoeuvrable vacuum hose with which I can steal desirable hats.  It's almost perfected except sometimes peoples heads block the intake if their hat's on too tight.  I'll probably add robot arms to grab legs and pull in opposition to the sucker.

A niche product but if it deters people from the ridiculous affectation of wearing hats it should be well received.

The FSM will smite you for that, just see if he don't.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: hismikeness on July 26, 2012, 04:00:59 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 25, 2012, 06:02:55 PM
A motor-car combined with washing machine and tumble- dryer, with backseats that reconfigure into an ironing board. Perfect for house- spouses who are caught in lengthy traffic jams on the school run or on the way to the out -of- town hypermarket to avail of Discount Day. It's one of those ideas that just seems so obvious once you hear it.

That's quite the acute target market.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: original_gender on July 26, 2012, 04:59:33 AM
I think the driving experience would be less emotionally destructive if "Sorry" and "Thank You" indicator lights came standard with turning signals on automobiles.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: markmcdaniel on July 26, 2012, 05:11:59 AM
I am working on a coal powered oil slick cleaner.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Asmodean on July 26, 2012, 08:13:11 AM
An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 26, 2012, 08:24:11 AM
Something that I could use to raid and sack the nearest Pepsi or Coca Cola factory. Since all of you guys are so creative, I could use some ideas. ;D

Asmo, I was considering one of your trademark death rays asteroid harvester strategic bomber, but I need the infrastructure wholly intact - and that includes every bottle. ;D
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 26, 2012, 09:21:30 AM
Quote from: original_genderI think the driving experience would be less emotionally destructive if "Sorry" and "Thank You" indicator lights came standard with turning signals on automobiles.

I think they'd sell better if the wording was a touch more obscene and insulting. ;)
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on July 26, 2012, 01:51:05 PM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

What's the salary like?
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Tank on July 26, 2012, 02:52:18 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:07:22 AM
Battery operated socks that warm themselves.
http://www.lazyboneuk.com/products/Battery-Heated-Socks.html
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 04:41:48 PM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on July 26, 2012, 01:51:05 PM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

What's the salary like?

En_Route Global inc will line your palm with silver, which should contrast pleasingly with bronze. We might even be persuaded  to throw in a few Modcloth vouchers if you play hard to get.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on July 26, 2012, 04:56:50 PM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 04:41:48 PM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on July 26, 2012, 01:51:05 PM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 

I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

What's the salary like?

En_Route Global inc will line your palm with silver, which should contrast pleasingly with bronze. We might even be persuaded  to throw in a few Modcloth vouchers if you play hard to get.

If I'm allowed to tease the dwarf, we might have a deal.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 26, 2012, 05:30:03 PM
Quote from: Tank on July 26, 2012, 02:52:18 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:07:22 AM
Battery operated socks that warm themselves.
http://www.lazyboneuk.com/products/Battery-Heated-Socks.html

:o  They don't have Mediums though.  I'm totally buying some as soon as they do. 
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 05:43:34 PM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on July 26, 2012, 04:56:50 PM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 04:41:48 PM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on July 26, 2012, 01:51:05 PM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:36:51 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 26, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 26, 2012, 12:11:18 AM
What a veritable geyser of creativity I have unloosed.

Hmmmmmph.  You're probably planning on stealing all of our ideas and amassing a small "As Seen On TV" fortune. 


I have already advertised for a butler, a cook, a chauffeur, a French Chambermaid, a gardener, an under- gardener, a resident DJ  and a dwarf for teasing.

What's the salary like?

En_Route Global inc will line your palm with silver, which should contrast pleasingly with bronze. We might even be persuaded  to throw in a few Modcloth vouchers if you play hard to get.

If I'm allowed to tease the dwarf, we might have a deal.

OK, but just don't use the D- word in his presence. Not because he objects to profanity or has any complex about the dimensions of his genitalia, but unfortunately his brother Richard was recently mown down by a runaway supermarket trolley.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: original_gender on July 26, 2012, 11:59:18 PM
Quote from: OldGit on July 26, 2012, 09:21:30 AM
Quote from: original_genderI think the driving experience would be less emotionally destructive if "Sorry" and "Thank You" indicator lights came standard with turning signals on automobiles.

I think they'd sell better if the wording was a touch more obscene and insulting. ;)

Yeah, I guess that becomes evident when you consider how infrequently turn signals are employed.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Buddy on July 27, 2012, 12:19:34 AM
Quote from: original_gender on July 26, 2012, 11:59:18 PM
Quote from: OldGit on July 26, 2012, 09:21:30 AM
Quote from: original_genderI think the driving experience would be less emotionally destructive if "Sorry" and "Thank You" indicator lights came standard with turning signals on automobiles.

I think they'd sell better if the wording was a touch more obscene and insulting. ;)

Yeah, I guess that becomes evident when you consider how infrequently turn signals are employed.

I remember seeing a sign that hung in the back of the car, but I cannot find the website it had it on.

*Edit- AHA! found it!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/d138/?srp=9
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: markmcdaniel on July 27, 2012, 02:35:50 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on July 26, 2012, 08:13:11 AM
An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...
I will take two. Payment will be in the form of one wood fueled steam powered stat ship.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Asmodean on July 27, 2012, 08:37:23 AM
Quote from: markmcdaniel on July 27, 2012, 02:35:50 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on July 26, 2012, 08:13:11 AM
An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...
I will take two. Payment will be in the form of one wood fueled steam powered stat ship.
Ah! Yes, The Asmo could use that in his evil schemes.  :D He'll take one in payment and four as an offering.  :D

Actually, what I think I may well try and sell is my "foolproof" missile navigation system. Should be hugely expensive, but able to bypass all countermeasures I am aware of (except direct hit by a fast-moving object - that is taken care of by a different design, The Asmo's Shieldbusters) when used against ground or air units.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 08:51:48 AM
A satellite that scans and reads people's lips from outer space.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Asmodean on July 27, 2012, 08:57:42 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 08:51:48 AM
A satellite that scans and reads people's lips from outer space.
Nice! Not a difficult tech, although working conditions that include clouds, buildings and such could make it so.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 09:14:16 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on July 27, 2012, 08:57:42 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 08:51:48 AM
A satellite that scans and reads people's lips from outer space.
Nice! Not a difficult tech, although working conditions that include clouds, buildings and such could make it so.

Back to the drawing board... ::)

A satellite that captures people's thoughts through an inserted microchip in their brains (an advanced version would also have to be invented) to bypass all weather conditions and geographical characteristics.  

Some people would give an arm for that sort of tech, scarily enough.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 27, 2012, 10:28:07 AM
A satellite for turning politicians off.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: markmcdaniel on July 27, 2012, 10:59:59 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on July 27, 2012, 08:37:23 AM
Quote from: markmcdaniel on July 27, 2012, 02:35:50 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on July 26, 2012, 08:13:11 AM
An asteroid harvester strategic bomber. The Asmo is so gonna patent that. The world needs a couple...
I will take two. Payment will be in the form of one wood fueled steam powered stat ship.
Ah! Yes, The Asmo could use that in his evil schemes.  :D He'll take one in payment and four as an offering.  :D

Actually, what I think I may well try and sell is my "foolproof" missile navigation system. Should be hugely expensive, but able to bypass all countermeasures I am aware of (except direct hit by a fast-moving object - that is taken care of by a different design, The Asmo's Shieldbusters) when used against ground or air units.
It would have to be expensive. fools are so ingenious. Set up a test my plans for galactic domination could use it.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Asmodean on July 27, 2012, 02:03:28 PM
Quote from: markmcdaniel on July 27, 2012, 10:59:59 AM
It would have to be expensive. fools are so ingenious. Set up a test my plans for galactic domination could use it.
I'd ask for about 4-5 million Euro per unit, and that does not include the cost of the missile, the fuel and the warheads. Just the guidance complete with fins and nav thrusters, ground equipment, computers, sensors, support personnel training and the countermeasure avoidance system.

Very expensive, yes, but much less so than most modern aircraft...
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Siz on July 27, 2012, 02:30:30 PM
Padded condoms.

Rubber keypad cover for harmless keyboard headbutting in the office.
(Also, punchproof flatscreen monitors, shatterproof phone handsets and insultproof staff)

Waterproof pitta-bread to allay Kebab traumas.

Stapler/calculator alarm to discourage lightfingered office staff.

Ear coolers (I suffer from hot ears occasionally).

Autotune-equipped video-cameras for kids' nativities/recitals/concerts.












Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on July 27, 2012, 02:30:30 PM
Ear coolers (I suffer from hot ears occasionally).

Most people refer to that as a hot head.  Hothead.   ;D

How about self cooling pillows (my hothead heats up pillows in minutes!)

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

Kitten mittens.  ;D












[/quote]
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 27, 2012, 07:09:40 PM
It's hard to find matching kittens of the right size.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.

Man!  You Brits get all the good stuff.  Smart alarm clocks, heated socks....it's like you're living in the future. 
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Buddy on July 27, 2012, 08:46:39 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.

Man!  You Brits get all the good stuff.  Smart alarm clocks, heated socks....it's like you're living in the future. 

Smart alarm clocks aren't just a British thing. My phone has a setting on the clock where you can pick the days it goes off. :P
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 09:13:05 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 27, 2012, 08:46:39 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.

Man!  You Brits get all the good stuff.  Smart alarm clocks, heated socks....it's like you're living in the future. 

Smart alarm clocks aren't just a British thing. My phone has a setting on the clock where you can pick the days it goes off. :P

Mine too, and nobody would think my phone is sophisticated.

A remote control to turn off alarm clocks that you deliberately leave far away from you to force you to get up.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 27, 2012, 11:59:15 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 09:13:05 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 27, 2012, 08:46:39 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.

Man!  You Brits get all the good stuff.  Smart alarm clocks, heated socks....it's like you're living in the future. 

Smart alarm clocks aren't just a British thing. My phone has a setting on the clock where you can pick the days it goes off. :P

Mine too, and nobody would think my phone is sophisticated.

A remote control to turn off alarm clocks that you deliberately leave far away from you to force you to get up.


I already have one. It's called a shoe.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: hismikeness on July 28, 2012, 12:25:17 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM
Kitten mittens.  ;D

Those have already been thought of. But, they're spelled kitten mittens, and you'll be smitten.   ;D

Kitten Mittons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fP4emqw7O4)
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 01:06:50 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 27, 2012, 11:59:15 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 09:13:05 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 27, 2012, 08:46:39 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.

Man!  You Brits get all the good stuff.  Smart alarm clocks, heated socks....it's like you're living in the future. 

Smart alarm clocks aren't just a British thing. My phone has a setting on the clock where you can pick the days it goes off. :P

Mine too, and nobody would think my phone is sophisticated.

A remote control to turn off alarm clocks that you deliberately leave far away from you to force you to get up.


I already have one. It's called a shoe.

Nice ;D

Unfortunatly for me, one thing you can't invent is a good aim.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 01:22:15 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 01:06:50 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 27, 2012, 11:59:15 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2012, 09:13:05 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 27, 2012, 08:46:39 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: Crow on July 27, 2012, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM

Alarm clocks that can be programmed to not go off on weekends and holidays without having to actually turn the things off and then remember to turn them back on.

I got one of them.

Man!  You Brits get all the good stuff.  Smart alarm clocks, heated socks....it's like you're living in the future. 

Smart alarm clocks aren't just a British thing. My phone has a setting on the clock where you can pick the days it goes off. :P

Mine too, and nobody would think my phone is sophisticated.

A remote control to turn off alarm clocks that you deliberately leave far away from you to force you to get up.


I already have one. It's called a shoe.

Nice ;D

Unfortunatly for me, one thing you can't invent is a good aim.

Buy bigger shoes. I see young ladies tottering around in enormous feet- sculptures these days.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 04:17:15 AM
Before this evolves from ever increasing shoe size to throwable sofas, I think I'll just forget the whole alarm clock thing altogether. ;D
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on July 28, 2012, 05:15:25 AM
What is really needed is a baseball bat that will hit any pitch thrown at it.  Microprocessor in its core, controlling the hitter's swing so that it always hits the ball.  Every hit a home run.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 28, 2012, 05:20:49 AM
They would have to invent new ways to make the game interesting then. ;)
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 10:19:12 AM
Quote from: xSPThey would have to invent new ways to make the game interesting then. ;

Any way of making baseball less than totally tedious would be a great invention.  Extra points for any means of keeping spectators awake during cricket.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 10:48:57 AM
Quote from: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 10:19:12 AM
Quote from: xSPThey would have to invent new ways to make the game interesting then. ;

Extra points for any means of keeping spectators awake during cricket.


Apart from electrifying the seats or naked cheerleaders, I can't think of anything.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Tank on July 28, 2012, 11:23:14 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 10:48:57 AM
Quote from: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 10:19:12 AM
Quote from: xSPThey would have to invent new ways to make the game interesting then. ;

Extra points for any means of keeping spectators awake during cricket.


Apart from electrifying the seats or naked cheerleaders, I can't think of anything.
Electrified naked cheerleaders?
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: hismikeness on July 28, 2012, 11:36:15 AM
Quote from: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 10:19:12 AM
Any way of making baseball less than totally tedious would be a great invention.

Mandatory minimum pitch counts for starting pitchers, like around 110 pitches.
A walked batter on a full count goes to second base instead of first.
A hit batsman is granted second base instead of first.
Steroids.
Make ground rule double a ground rule triple.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 12:01:39 PM
Quote from: hismikeness
Mandatory minimum pitch counts for starting pitchers, like around 110 pitches.
A walked batter on a full count goes to second base instead of first.
A hit batsman is granted second base instead of first.
Steroids.
Make ground rule double a ground rule triple.

Well, I understand Steroids.  The rest of it seems to me to be illustrating the problem rather than helping with it.

How about:

Ball to explode randomly several times a game.
Land mines on pitch.
Instant death penalty for minor infringements.
Extra rules to be introduced secretly, to be announced only when execution is triggered.
Nude cheerleaders to prance around the pitch for no serious reason.

Similar innovations might help with cricket.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 12:09:10 PM
Quote from: Tank on July 28, 2012, 11:23:14 AM
Quote from: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 10:48:57 AM
Quote from: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 10:19:12 AM
Quote from: xSPThey would have to invent new ways to make the game interesting then. ;

Extra points for any means of keeping spectators awake during cricket.


Apart from electrifying the seats or naked cheerleaders, I can't think of anything.
Electrified naked cheerleaders?

Genius! Now, all we have to do is get it past Health and Safety.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 12:11:35 PM
Quote from: hismikeness on July 28, 2012, 11:36:15 AM
Quote from: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 10:19:12 AM
Any way of making baseball less than totally tedious would be a great invention.

Mandatory minimum pitch counts for starting pitchers, like around 110 pitches.
A walked batter on a full count goes to second base instead of first.
A hit batsman is granted second base instead of first.
Steroids.
Make ground rule double a ground rule triple.


I could make more sense of the Bible.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on July 28, 2012, 01:39:04 PM
Quote from: Tank on July 28, 2012, 11:23:14 AM

Electrified naked cheerleaders?

That would ensure that everyone's bat stayed hard.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: The Magic Pudding on July 28, 2012, 02:05:05 PM
I'd like to put in a request.

A personal submarine would be good but probably a bit expensive.

So I'll settle for a slightly larger than me size bubble I could go floating about in and just check out fish and stuff. 

It would need to be shark proof, if sharks came and played with my bubble for a while that'd be OK.

If some motorised craft comes into contact with my bubble it should explode efficiently in a high temperature fire ball, minimising carbon emissions.

I'm not sure how propulsion is going to work but I'm not in a hurry.

I don't need an ability to dive but I expect a shnorrkle would be needed and torpedoes probably.
Might as well have surface to air missiles as well I suppose, might need them, you never know.

An arm to grab tasty looking things, if it's not too much trouble.
I don't don't know if the above arm can multi task but I'm going to need something to push off those free loading sucker fish, bastards, I hate them.
Title: Great Ideas For Other People (GIFOP)
Post by: bannedatheist on July 28, 2012, 05:54:08 PM
Self-raising yurt.

Personal drones that hover over your head keeping you cool and zapping bugs.

Nanotube space needle with anchor in NEO.

GIFOPs are Great Ideas For Other People -- I love this thread!!! I shall read them all. Any chance I can repost some of them on my GIFOP Tumblr? Any objections? I also like to illustrate GIFOPs as if for patents. Just ask and I might just sketch your GIFOP out, gears 'n all.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Buddy on July 28, 2012, 06:50:21 PM
A way to get vaccines without needles.  >:(
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 06:56:50 PM
Quote from: BuddyA way to get vaccines without needles.  

Right - and my several shots of insulin per day, and my blood tests.  I jab needles into myself a minimum of 5 times a day and it's not really fun.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: En_Route on July 28, 2012, 08:02:27 PM
Quote from: OldGit on July 28, 2012, 06:56:50 PM
Quote from: BuddyA way to get vaccines without needles.  

Right - and my several shots of insulin per day, and my blood tests.  I jab needles into myself a minimum of 5 times a day and it's not really fun.

I bet not. Sorry to hear it.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 29, 2012, 03:06:51 PM
Quote from: hismikeness on July 28, 2012, 12:25:17 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 27, 2012, 07:03:01 PM
Kitten mittens.  ;D

Those have already been thought of. But, they're spelled kitten mittens, and you'll be smitten.   ;D

Kitten Mittons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fP4emqw7O4)

Glad somebody got that.   ;D

Quote from: GitRight - and my several shots of insulin per day, and my blood tests.  I jab needles into myself a minimum of 5 times a day and it's not really fun.

Have you thought about getting one of those insulin pumps?  Husband's cousin has one and I think she likes it because no more shots.

I had Gestational Diabetes with T which means I'll most likely have it again with this little pickle, so I'll soon be joining your ranks of doing thrice daily blood tests.  Haha, last time I made everyone around me try the finger prick at least once (because I'm mean, and they indicated curiousity.)  Biggest bunch of crybabies EVER!  "Ooooowwwww that stings!"  Oh yeah, little bit?  'Cause I only do it three times a day, no big deal.   :D

Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 29, 2012, 04:06:11 PM
Oh, dear, Ali, I hope you don't get it this time.  But if you do, and you make others try a test, how about setting the needle to much deeper before handing them the pricker?

As to the pump - thanks, but I don't really hate injections that much.  I just love moaning about them and getting sympathy.  ;D
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 29, 2012, 04:23:21 PM
It can always get worse...like having to take a needle through the open iris in your eye. It probably doesn't hurt at all but it's got to be a desconcerting experience to see that needle coming closer...and closer...
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 29, 2012, 04:47:27 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 29, 2012, 04:23:21 PM
It can always get worse...like having to take a needle through the open iris in your eye. It probably doesn't hurt at all but it's got to be a desconcerting experience to see that needle coming closer...and closer...

*Passes out*
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Guardian85 on July 29, 2012, 08:09:01 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 29, 2012, 03:06:51 PM
Haha, last time I made everyone around me try the finger prick at least once (because I'm mean, and they indicated curiousity.)  Biggest bunch of crybabies EVER!  "Ooooowwwww that stings!"  Oh yeah, little bit?  'Cause I only do it three times a day, no big deal.   :D

My dad has one of those to keep an eye on his blood sugar. Last time I was home he wanted to test my blood sugar. Three jabs with the fucking thing later he still hadn't drawn blood. I told him "Fuck it. I'm out."
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Tank on July 29, 2012, 08:52:14 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 28, 2012, 06:50:21 PM
A way to get vaccines without needles.  >:(
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jet_injector
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Ali on July 30, 2012, 12:28:17 AM
Quote from: Guardian85 on July 29, 2012, 08:09:01 PM
Quote from: Ali on July 29, 2012, 03:06:51 PM
Haha, last time I made everyone around me try the finger prick at least once (because I'm mean, and they indicated curiousity.)  Biggest bunch of crybabies EVER!  "Ooooowwwww that stings!"  Oh yeah, little bit?  'Cause I only do it three times a day, no big deal.   :D

My dad has one of those to keep an eye on his blood sugar. Last time I was home he wanted to test my blood sugar. Three jabs with the fucking thing later he still hadn't drawn blood. I told him "Fuck it. I'm out."

You're not supposed to do it on the part with the fingernail.... ;D

Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 30, 2012, 12:35:15 AM
Quote from: Tank on July 29, 2012, 08:52:14 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 28, 2012, 06:50:21 PM
A way to get vaccines without needles.  >:(
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jet_injector

Hell Naw!

I took a anti yellow fever vaccine when I was seven with that thing, we nicknamed it 'the gun'.

I prefer needles.



I don't find needles all that bad, problem is, my arm veins are really deep whereas my wrist veins are superficial. I usually draw blood from those, which hurt more.

An invention that makes the primitive process of drawing blood obselete. ;D Some way to get the same readings without having to prick people.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Guardian85 on July 30, 2012, 01:48:56 AM
Quote from: Ali on July 30, 2012, 12:28:17 AM
Quote from: Guardian85 on July 29, 2012, 08:09:01 PM
My dad has one of those to keep an eye on his blood sugar. Last time I was home he wanted to test my blood sugar. Three jabs with the fucking thing later he still hadn't drawn blood. I told him "Fuck it. I'm out."

You're not supposed to do it on the part with the fingernail.... ;D



Hey, we may be northerners but we're not that backwards!  ;)
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Buddy on July 30, 2012, 01:58:22 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 30, 2012, 12:35:15 AM
Quote from: Tank on July 29, 2012, 08:52:14 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 28, 2012, 06:50:21 PM
A way to get vaccines without needles.  >:(
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jet_injector

Hell Naw!

I took a anti yellow fever vaccine when I was seven with that thing, we nicknamed it 'the gun'.

I prefer needles.



I don't find needles all that bad, problem is, my arm veins are really deep whereas my wrist veins are superficial. I usually draw blood from those, which hurt more.

An invention that makes the primitive process of drawing blood obselete. ;D Some way to get the same readings without having to prick people.

I would be okay with needles if I could just stop throwing up after I get them.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 30, 2012, 09:26:34 AM
Quote from: BuddyI would be okay with needles if I could just stop throwing up after I get them.

So you're swallowing them.  That's where you're going wrong.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Buddy on July 30, 2012, 07:16:59 PM
Quote from: OldGit on July 30, 2012, 09:26:34 AM
Quote from: BuddyI would be okay with needles if I could just stop throwing up after I get them.

So you're swallowing them.  That's where you're going wrong.

:D I wish! Taking meds in pill form would make life so much easier!
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: hismikeness on July 31, 2012, 10:30:27 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 29, 2012, 04:23:21 PM
It can always get worse...like having to take a needle through the open iris in your eye. It probably doesn't hurt at all but it's got to be a desconcerting experience to see that needle coming closer...and closer...

There is NO way I'm taking a needle to the eyeball. I have a fear regarding my eyes. No eyedrops for me... the eye doctor told me he had to use numbing drops- just a few per eye. He was like, "hold your head back and I'll drip them in." I said, "The fuck you will. I will close my eyes, you can drop all you want and I'll blink it in."

A needle? No f-ing way.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Asmodean on July 31, 2012, 05:53:49 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on July 28, 2012, 06:50:21 PM
A way to get vaccines without needles.  >:(
There are several such ways. For instance, some vaccines can be taken orally, but that takes away all the fun of watching a needle pierce the skin. Hm... Come to think of it, I'd probably make an excellent diabetic... Or street junkie.

Oh, and as for the needle through the eye thing - as long as they use plenty of drugs, what's the big deal? The doctors DO usually know what they are doing, and if they fuck up, you can demand their coin in stead of the other way around.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Tank on July 31, 2012, 06:32:52 PM
Quote from: hismikeness on July 31, 2012, 10:30:27 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 29, 2012, 04:23:21 PM
It can always get worse...like having to take a needle through the open iris in your eye. It probably doesn't hurt at all but it's got to be a desconcerting experience to see that needle coming closer...and closer...

There is NO way I'm taking a needle to the eyeball. I have a fear regarding my eyes. No eyedrops for me... the eye doctor told me he had to use numbing drops- just a few per eye. He was like, "hold your head back and I'll drip them in." I said, "The fuck you will. I will close my eyes, you can drop all you want and I'll blink it in."

A needle? No f-ing way.
I've had both of my eyeballs cut open while under local anaesthetic so I could see (in a rather blurry way) what was going on. You may use the nearest litter bin to throw up in  ;D
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: OldGit on July 31, 2012, 06:37:14 PM
Aaarrgh! Yaroo! Please kill me before they do that.  Torture me, lock me in a cell with Rolf Harris, anything but that.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: xSilverPhinx on July 31, 2012, 07:30:38 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on July 31, 2012, 05:53:49 PM
Oh, and as for the needle through the eye thing - as long as they use plenty of drugs, what's the big deal? The doctors DO usually know what they are doing, and if they fuck up, you can demand their coin in stead of the other way around.

The big deal for me would be:

Quote from: Tank on July 31, 2012, 06:32:52 PM
I've had both of my eyeballs cut open while under local anaesthetic so I could see (in a rather blurry way) what was going on. You may use the nearest litter bin to throw up in  ;D

Even if you don't feel it, seeing someone cut up your eye (which you're rather more instinctively inclined to protect) has got to be a disconcerting experience.  :o

They could invent some anestectic which temporarily deactivates the optic nerve so you don't have to see these things. Would come in handy for all open eye operations for the squimish. ;D
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Asmodean on August 01, 2012, 07:26:00 AM
Are you kidding?!

It sounds quite incredibly cool. You can more or less see your own innards... From within!  :D When I have the coin, I so want some eye surgery. Only mine will probably be done with a laser.

As for the instincts, battles of will between oneself and one's reflexes are sort of fun - especially when one wins.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: Tank on August 01, 2012, 07:46:41 AM
Well I was crapping myself about it and was insisting on a full anaesthetic until I sat with a little old lady of 75 'ish who had had one eye done and was going through the checks for her second eye. She explained the whole thing properly to me and I thought if she can do it I can do it. So I changed to having a local. The first operation I could see or at least make out something during the entire process, even to the point of things coming back into focus when the flopped the cornea back over the hole. However on the second operation things started out the same but at some point everything went blindingly white, just in the eye being operated on. I couldn't even tell whether my eye was open or closed. I mentioned this and apparently the anaesthetic they bathe the eyeball in had reached the optic nerve and stopped it working and without input the brain's default condition is to see white, not black as one would think. Most interesting.

I have wondered if this is why people experience a tunnel of light in near death experiences. That the 'white light' is just a side effect of neurological luck in that if wired differently we'd simply see a black tunnel.

The whole procedure was better than going to the dentist.
Title: Re: Great inventions that nobody has yet thought of
Post by: The Magic Pudding on August 01, 2012, 09:55:25 AM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft1.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRdk8w4-PiF_ZyZNeflBnzoSiz_v5GeTXApiMhAXw4qbyP1GWO8UkOm4g&hash=759e417711bb401edabb8313383f1b73154b5480) Can someone please let me know when it's safe to read again.