Very new, still not sure if am calling myself Atheist yet!

[SummerintheDam]

I came across this forum when researching topics on people who have recently become non-believers and this seems like the best place to start!

I grew up in the US in a Church of Christ family, going to church 3 times a week till I was 18 (and then left home to go to Uni and lived a very different life). My grandfather was a minister his whole life, his 2 sons/my uncles are ministers, and my brother was an 'urban minister' for a time involved in church planting activities in his city. I was baptized at the age of 12 and had a very good relationship with God and prayed every day. Even after I went off to college and stopped going to church/started to party and experiment with all sorts of things, I still believed in God and still felt guilty many times for my actions.

Fast forward a few years to when I moved outside of the US (to Hong Kong) where I met my Australian (and atheist) husband, and I have had many opportunities to question the faith I was brought up in, along with the existence of God in general.

We now live in Amsterdam - a city of very kind people who do not seem to hold onto any religion per se yet surprisingly are still good people ('tongue-in-cheek').... Through discussions with my husband and general questioning of everything I had been taught/told my whole life, I feel now that I do not believe in any God or super being, along with any heaven or hell. I am still coming to grips with this realization and was really just looking for others who are on the same journey and how they have come to terms with it.

Happy to be here!

[xSilverPhinx]

Welcome!

[Recusant]

Hello and welcome to HAF, SummerintheDam. Your journey sounds relatively painless, which is good to hear. US to Hong Kong to Amsterdam; that's seeing some of the world! I've only visited Amsterdam once, but really enjoyed the atmosphere there.

Notes for new members from Tank.

The Rules.

Users who comply with forum rules will graduate to full membership after 10 posts. Till that time your ability to post is limited to the "Getting to Know You" section of the forum. It is our hope that this small restriction improves the overall atmosphere of HAF.

Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from?
10 Things About Yourself
Tell us A Bit About Where You're From
Photography
Non-religious pet peeves
Pets...what do you have?
How to tell your family you are an atheist.*

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In addition, you may find the following of interest: "Rules for Conducting a Discussion" by Dr. Mortimer J. Adler.

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[OldGit]

Welcome, SummerintheDam!  You've come to the right place to talk these matters over.

[Tank]

Hi Summerinthedam

There are many members here who have been exactly where you are now and found their way out from under the comfort blanket of institutionalised superstition. I hope you settle in and enjoy yourself.

Thanks for making the effort to sign up and join in.

Welcome to HAF.

Regards
Chris

[Happy_Is_Good]

Hello SummerintheDam!

Good to see you here and than you for your wonderful introduction. 

I hope to here more from you soon.

Thanks.

[unholy1971]

Welcome 

[DeterminedJuliet]

Welcome!

You can call yourself whatever you like I hope you like it here!

[Crocoduck]

Hello SummerintheDam

[Ali]

Nice to "meet" you!  It sounds like you have had a very interesting "journey."  What does your family think of your (relatively) new found atheism?

[The Magic Pudding]

G'day Summer

[Tank]

Come on Summer, don't be shy! 

[Traveler]

Hello and welcome!!! It sounds like a very interesting path you've walked. I'm glad you're here.

[yodachoda]

welcome

[SummerintheDam]

Nice to "meet" you!  It sounds like you have had a very interesting "journey."  What does your family think of your (relatively) new found atheism?

Well, My family isn't aware of my newfound atheism, although I believe they have doubts about whether or not I 'believe' anymore. Growing up there was at least one occasion where a family member told me outright I was going to hell for living a secular life and on many occasions I have been told that I am sinning or going against God's will for my actions, but it is only recently that I have really started to question what all of that means. I don't think I will come out, so-to-speak, to my parents, as it would just cause them undo pain and disappointment, but thankfully I have a husband and in-laws whom I can converse with about all of these thoughts and try to formulate more concrete feelings. I still get glimpses of self-doubt when I read a Christian's perspective on evolution and wonder if THEY might actually have the right answers, but then logic takes over and I remember that I don't believe in magic and I don't believe it has ever existed, so I am lead once again to an atheist perspective...