Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[xSilverPhinx]

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List_of_scientists_who_became_creationists_after_studying_the_evidence

Gotta love the tumbleweeds.

[Pasta Chick]

[Eric V Arachnid]

I asked Google and there doesn't seem to be an ask Jesus search engine.
No I didn't look on the 2nd page of results, I'm not a frick'n research scientist.
If only I'd thought to claim it back when everything was up for grabs.  

[Tom62]

[xSilverPhinx]

^ good one.

[Icarus]

^ subtle and cool XSP

[OldGit]

^^^ Two good ones there.

[xSilverPhinx]

[Essie Mae]

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List_of_scientists_who_became_creationists_after_studying_the_evidence

Ha ha. You had me worried there for a moment OG

[OldGit]

Cut-off Nepalese villages still unaware Kate has had girl, say Red Cross

Many remote villages in the worst hit areas of Nepal remain cut off and completely unaware that the Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a baby girl, according to the International Red Cross. Aid agencies have confirmed that thousands of people in Nepal's middle hills and isolated western towns have still to be reached by rescue teams and given the news of the Royal baby.

From News Biscuit

[Tank]

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.

[Tank]

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"

[Buddy]

Pet shaming: horse edition

http://m.imgur.com/gallery/WG0fm

[Guardian85]

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

[Tank]

Pet shaming: horse edition

http://m.imgur.com/gallery/WG0fm

LOL!