Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[OldGit]

I hope it bit her. 

[Asmodean]

  She shall be tortured by vast hordes of Asmos ratties in the sewers of The Gray Realm FOREVER.   HE. HATH. SPOKEN!!!  

[Pasta Chick]

That girl makes me sort of angry, didn't she know that the rat (or is it a hamster?) would be thrown into the air like that? I hope it didn't get too hurt on its way down. Doesn't look like she caught it...

I'm guessing she probably didn't.  I once attended a science fair where there were all sorts of exhibits set up to illustrate various forces and elasticity and motion.  Very few of my peers got any of it. 

[Biggus Dickus]

The first time I saw this I giggled. Ok I'm lying, I actually laughed. Not out of cruelty to the little hamster, but just the situation itself (I hope it wasn't hurt).
I'm sure she envisioned the hamster sort of hanging onto the top of the ball as it bounced around the room, so clearly she has no grasp yet on basic physics.
This would lead us to beleive she is an American, most likely from the mid-west, probably Ohio.

[Asmodean]

Gray sewer. Torture. FOREVER.

[Tom62]

An American  businessman visits Japan for the first time. On the evening, before his appointment with his Japanese client, he decides to have some fun and goes to a brothel. While having sex, the prostitute keeps shouting "間違った穴". Wow, the businessman thinks, that must mean that I'm really doing a great job.

The next day, the businessman and his client play some golf after their meeting. At the third hole, the client hits a hole in one. Trying to please his client, the businessman shouts "間違った穴".  The Japanese guy looks up and says "What do you mean with the wrong hole?".

[Tank]

NSFW!!! Nothing nude but you might get in trouble for dissolving into laughter, 2 minutes and 30 seconds of unmitigated hilarity "Story Time". 


Which one are you?
I am the embarrassing father in the super market

[OldGit]

They met at the old folks' club and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.

Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....

Claude was thinking: 'If I'd known she was still a virgin, I'd have been gentler.'
   
Maude was thinking: 'if I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken my tights off'

[Asmodean]

NSFW!!! Nothing nude but you might get in trouble for dissolving into laughter, 2 minutes and 30 seconds of unmitigated hilarity "Story Time". 


Which one are you?
I am the embarrassing father in the super market

Didn't get through all of them. The host was giving me a head ache.

[Buddy]

[MariaEvri]

I know the poor hamster got hurt but I-just can't-stop-LAUGHING!!

[Dobermonster]

It is one of those "I should really feel bad for laughing but I can't stop watching that over and over" things.

[Biggus Dickus]

[Icarus]

^

[joeactor]

NSFW!!! Nothing nude but you might get in trouble for dissolving into laughter, 2 minutes and 30 seconds of unmitigated hilarity "Story Time". 

Which one are you?
I am the embarrassing father in the super market

Reminds me of:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USqZsdn_qzM