Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Tank]

I can't read the last one without doing a bad Walken impersonation in my head.

Same here 

[Magdalena]

 

[Biggus Dickus]

That was great. I'm going to try to use Walken commas here at work with my office correspondence, and see if anyone notices.

This bit by Robin Williams about Christopher Walken doing porn is funny (Although his imitation of Walken is lacking somewhat, but the bit is still good)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEPokvntdIM

Watch the entire clip to the end as Robin does a great joke at the end as Walter Cronkite.

[Magdalena]

^ ^ ^
That, is, funny!!!
            

[Magdalena]

[Tank]

^^^ Love that one!

[Biggus Dickus]

Jesus walks into a bar with the twelve apostles and tells the bartender with a smirk, "Thirteen waters please".

[Magdalena]

I love your jokes Bruno. 

[Essie Mae]

Jesus walks into a bar with the twelve apostles and tells the bartender with a smirk, "Thirteen waters please".

It took a minute or two, then ROFL

[Biggus Dickus]

A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

[OldGit]

[Icarus]

^^ 

Then there is the one about the procrastinators club who postponed their monthly meeting

[Siz]

Or the Irish circumciser - he missed and got the sack.

[Essie Mae]

Or the Irish circumciser - he missed and got the sack.

Ouch!

[Claireliontamer]

Jesus walks into a bar with the twelve apostles and tells the bartender with a smirk, "Thirteen waters please".

I don't get it.....help