Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Pasta Chick]

One for PastaChick

Hahaha...

I lived with two Huskies and a Rottweiler for a bit.  The Rottie was the best singer by far.

[Magdalena]

[Magdalena]

^ ^ ^ ^

[Tank]

[Stevil]

Q: What kind of biscuits do ducks eat?
A: Quackers

Bull says to Cow "Let's have sex?"
Cow says to Bull "I'm not in the Mooed"

[Tank]

[Tank]

[Niya]

lol

[OldGit]

A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin.  Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten.
I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want
You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request).
She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Nummaa 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her..
"You want... Garlic Chicken with Black Bean Sauce?"

[Tank]

A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin.  Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten.
I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want
You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request).
She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Nummaa 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her..
"You want... Garlic Chicken with Black Bean Sauce?"

If they are both Chinese why are they speaking English?  ???

[OldGit]

[Tank]

[Crow]

A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin.  Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten.
I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want
You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request).
She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Nummaa 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her..
"You want... Garlic Chicken with Black Bean Sauce?"

If they are both Chinese why are they speaking English?  ???

Pigeon English.

[Icarus]

Never mind those picky detail hounds Git. I thought it was a cute joke.

[Guardian85]

A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin.  Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten.
I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want
You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request).
She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Nummaa 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her..
"You want... Garlic Chicken with Black Bean Sauce?"

Great! Now I'm hungry...