Have you ever...?

[Munchkin Goddess]

Have you ever written an "angry" letter to an ex or just someone who you have strong feelings for? Did you ever send it out?

I'm curious because I have written a letter to my ex of 5 five years. I just sent it and I have no idea if I'm going to regret because I still live with her. I just need to get some feelings out because I've buried them for so long.

[MiiriChan]

It may be because I am a teenager, but I write letters to people and keep them in a hidden box so that no one can find it.  It's a good way to get the anger out without hurting someone. 
Have you ever thought of just talking to her?  If you haven't, you'd better think of what you're going to say when she gets the letter and demands to know what it's about.  You should figure out what you want to tell her and then make sure that you keep a cool head when telling to her.  This way, your anger and frustration can be let out in a civilized manner and you can let her know how you feel without caused hostility between the two of you.

[Munchkin Goddess]

The problem is, I can't think logically and coolly face-to-face. I am one of those people that by seeing what I want to say in front of me, it's more honest and coherent (and less hurtful) than in person. While it is an angry letter, it isn't meant to be hurtful. I just need to express myself and find it too difficult in person. I know some of the things I have to say are hurtful, but not out to hurt her. It's just how I feel and I think I left it off on a more pleasant note of trying to work things out as friends.

[MiiriChan]

That sounds like a good idea.  I think that the first thing you should say to her once she gets the letter is exactly that.  Then get angry.  If you can keep the anger in for long enough to explain that, I think that she will understand that you don't mean to hurt her.  I think she will understand that, once you explain that you mean nothing hurtful towards her, you just need to vent your anger and get everything out on the table so that you can finally fix things for good.

[Munchkin Goddess]

So, she replied. She actually took it a lot better than I would have thought. One thing she made clear, she is moving on and wants me to move on to someone I deserve. Sounds good right?

Yet, I just still feel like crying. I worked so long and hard and it's just really over. And it hurts. And I'm at work, trying so hard to just concentrate so I don't just start crying. FML

[Ihateyoumike]

May I ask how long you were with this person for that you can't let go after 5 years? Just seems to be an awful long time to grieve a failed relationship to me.

Edit: just noticed you said you still live together after 5 years of being broken up? How does that work?

[MiiriChan]

Well, now that you have finally made amends with someone that you, in many ways, still love, you can begin the true grieving process, then move on with life.  I can understand how it can take years to get over someone that you love.  It hasn't happend to me with a 'lover', but with a best friend.  When I moved schools in fourth grade she started a club that was focused on hating me.  I haven't talked to her since.
I got over it because she didn't like me anymore.
Now you can begin your grieving process and begin to pick up the pieces of of your heart.  Once that is over with (take as long as you need) you will make another person a wonderful lover.  You just have to find the right person.

[Munchkin Goddess]

I transferred colleges from NJ or Pa, so I can't afford to live anywhere else for awhile. I have at least two semesters left. It wasn't a bad break up, we are still friends. Actually, (as confusing as this sounds) we are still casually dating each other (as well as other people).

And we just broke up a month ago, it all just hurts still. I am dating though. I actually have a date with a guy tonight... I'm trying, but I am just so much in love her. It's just hard to see her every day.

Well, now that you have finally made amends with someone that you, in many ways, still love, you can begin the true grieving process, then move on with life.  I can understand how it can take years to get over someone that you love.  It hasn't happend to me with a 'lover', but with a best friend.  When I moved schools in fourth grade she started a club that was focused on hating me.  I haven't talked to her since.
I got over it because she didn't like me anymore.
Now you can begin your grieving process and begin to pick up the pieces of of your heart.  Once that is over with (take as long as you need) you will make another person a wonderful lover.  You just have to find the right person.

Well I am dating again. This guy I'm dating, I have no idea if I like him and I am completely honest about my views on casual dating. He's different from anyone I have ever dated. So I thought I would just give him a shot. I also made it clear that I may not be ready for a committed relationship for a long time.