Facebook Follies

[fester30]

Just saw this on one of my friends' updates.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

MY GENERATION GREW UP RECITING THIS EVERY MORNING IN SCHOOL WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART. THEY NO LONGER DO THAT FOR FEAR OF OFFENDING SOMEONE!

LET'S SEE HOW MANY AMERICANS WILL RE-POST THIS AND NOT CARE ABOUT OFFENDING ANYONE

I responded that perhaps fewer people would be offended if we used the original wording.  She replied that it is the original wording, so I had to disappoint her with the truth.  I see a lot of similar things going around Facebook, like the one that was trying to make Congress look evil by saying they get their full salary the rest of their life if they just serve one term.  

There's a lot of misinformation on Facebook... have you seen any?

[Tank]

I'm sure there is a lot of misinformation on facebook but I haven't come across any that I can think of among te people I hang around with.

[Melmoth]

I used to do a bit of informal, unpaid music journalism. Bristol is a good city for music. Anyway, the 'manager' of one band turned out to be this awful, lying tick of a man - a sort of talentless Mister Ripley. He had a fake diploma in IT from one of these made-up universities in America - no real qualifications, and no real contribution to any of the projects he'd dug himself into. He also had loads of fake guitars which he'd etched the brand names into himself, I remember.

Anyway, he added me on facebook and started pestering me to write biased reviews for him. In exchange, he offered his IT services. He said he'd build me a website and put me in touch with all 'the right people' to get my career rolling, which I found very patronising. By this point, I already knew that I had more contacts in the biz than he did, measly as that number was. Then, to top it all, his idea for my 'vewy own website' turned out to be a basic blogspot account, which he would of course have co-adminship of.

I told him to get stuffed, obviously. And since I knew some of the musicians who had put their trust in him, and who's time he'd been wasting, I made my opinions very known. This resulted in a satisfying breakup, during which he went insane, and started accusing people of made up crimes. When one band member went to collect his own guitar from the recording studio, with the landlord's permission, this was "trespass by deceit!" Even more stupidly, this band member also happened to be a law student and the son of a solicitor, which probably isn't the best victim to choose if you're bullying people with fictional laws.

That's probably the worst facebook encounter that I've had.

[fester30]

I used to do a bit of informal, unpaid music journalism. Bristol is a good city for music. Anyway, the 'manager' of one band turned out to be this awful, lying tick of a man - a sort of talentless Mister Ripley. He had a fake diploma in IT from one of these made-up universities in America - no real qualifications, and no real contribution to any of the projects he'd dug himself into. He also had loads of fake guitars which he'd etched the brand names into himself, I remember.

Anyway, he added me on facebook and started pestering me to write biased reviews for him. In exchange, he offered his IT services. He said he'd build me a website and put me in touch with all 'the right people' to get my career rolling, which I found very patronising. By this point, I already knew that I had more contacts in the biz than he did, measly as that number was. Then, to top it all, his idea for my 'vewy own website' turned out to be a basic blogspot account, which he would of course have co-adminship of.

I told him to get stuffed, obviously. And since I knew some of the musicians who had put their trust in him, and who's time he'd been wasting, I made my opinions very known. This resulted in a satisfying breakup, during which he went insane, and started accusing people of made up crimes. When one band member went to collect his own guitar from the recording studio, with the landlord's permission, this was "trespass by deceit!" Even more stupidly, this band member also happened to be a law student and the son of a solicitor, which probably isn't the best victim to choose if you're bullying people with fictional laws.

That's probably the worst facebook encounter that I've had.

Wow... and I thought it was bad when I used Myspace to trick my current wife into going on our first date with me.

[Melmoth]

Wow... and I thought it was bad when I used Myspace to trick my current wife into going on our first date with me.

You can't say that and expect no one to ask for more. That sounds far too interesting, almost movie blurb material. I'm quite sure you did it on purpose. How did you trick her?

[fester30]

Wow... and I thought it was bad when I used Myspace to trick my current wife into going on our first date with me.

You can't say that and expect no one to ask for more. That sounds far too interesting, almost movie blurb material. I'm quite sure you did it on purpose. How did you trick her?

The old Bugs Bunny trick.  We were chatting on the Myspace chat.  I told her she was going out with me on my birthday on a Friday night.  She said no I'm not.  I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said no, she said yes.  I said GOT YA!  Then I said she didn't really have to, she could make her own decisions.  She laughed and said fine, since I made that much effort, I deserved one date.  Mind you, this all happened in a chatroom.  This wasn't a fast voice conversation, this was all typed out.  That, to me, makes it even more funny that she fell for it.

[The Magic Pudding]

Wow... and I thought it was bad when I used Myspace to trick my current wife into going on our first date with me.

You can't say that and expect no one to ask for more. That sounds far too interesting, almost movie blurb material. I'm quite sure you did it on purpose. How did you trick her?

The old Bugs Bunny trick.  We were chatting on the Myspace chat.  I told her she was going out with me on my birthday on a Friday night.  She said no I'm not.  I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said no, she said yes.  I said GOT YA!  Then I said she didn't really have to, she could make her own decisions.  She laughed and said fine, since I made that much effort, I deserved one date.  Mind you, this all happened in a chatroom.  This wasn't a fast voice conversation, this was all typed out.  That, to me, makes it even more funny that she fell for it.

Why does it have to be funny that she fell for it?
Do you mean her ill?

[Melmoth]

]The old Bugs Bunny trick.  We were chatting on the Myspace chat.  I told her she was going out with me on my birthday on a Friday night.  She said no I'm not.  I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said no, she said yes.  I said GOT YA!  Then I said she didn't really have to, she could make her own decisions.  She laughed and said fine, since I made that much effort, I deserved one date.  Mind you, this all happened in a chatroom.  This wasn't a fast voice conversation, this was all typed out.  That, to me, makes it even more funny that she fell for it.

You sly dog, you.

Why does it have to be funny that she fell for it?
Do you mean her ill?

There's this theory that laughter is just a way of baring our teeth. Someone slips on a banana peel -> we laugh to express derision. And horror and humour are pretty close on the emotional spectrum, when you think about it! One can very easily slip into the other, and books, films etc. use very similar devices to create both: mistakes, disguise, confusion, cyclic story lines, senseless repetition, category error... is this what you meant?

[fester30]

Wow... and I thought it was bad when I used Myspace to trick my current wife into going on our first date with me.

You can't say that and expect no one to ask for more. That sounds far too interesting, almost movie blurb material. I'm quite sure you did it on purpose. How did you trick her?

The old Bugs Bunny trick.  We were chatting on the Myspace chat.  I told her she was going out with me on my birthday on a Friday night.  She said no I'm not.  I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said yes, she said no, I said no, she said yes.  I said GOT YA!  Then I said she didn't really have to, she could make her own decisions.  She laughed and said fine, since I made that much effort, I deserved one date.  Mind you, this all happened in a chatroom.  This wasn't a fast voice conversation, this was all typed out.  That, to me, makes it even more funny that she fell for it.

Why does it have to be funny that she fell for it?
Do you mean her ill?

Now that you put it that way, I realize that I'm in this marriage purely for selfish reasons (she's an awesome woman and a great wife) without considering that she married far beneath her worth.  I've been celebrating my good fortune while not realizing I'm also celebrating her bad luck.  Oh well, I don't believe in luck so it's okay.  As long as I can continue to deceive her into believing that I'm good enough for her we'll be good

[hismikeness]

Here's one from the NFL player Chad Ochocinco (a former teammate of mine, back when he was Chad Johnson):

Without God our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday and Shatteredday. Have a splendid Sunday and stay prayed up.

Thirstday... C'mon Ocho... you can do better than that.  ???

[DaveD]

Here's one from the NFL player Chad Ochocinco (a former teammate of mine, back when he was Chad Johnson):

Without God our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday and Shatteredday. Have a splendid Sunday and stay prayed up.

Thirstday... C'mon Ocho... you can do better than that.  ???

Ironic that most of the days are named after what he would consider false gods.

[Whitney]

Sinday sounds like it could be fun.