Hi everyone.

[Letra Runt]

Quirk list: I'm terrified of spiders but not of snakes or scorpions, I'm a teetotaler, I'm nearly 22 and apparently still never had Chicken Pox, I'm a meat eating meat loving environmentalist if that's ironic at all, I'm really scared of grey aliens even though I don't believe in greys, I inherited morton's toe from both parents, I have pinky clinodactyly (it arches backward), I'm genuinely scared of sunlight, I don't have a sweet tooth at all, I moved way too many times in my childhood having lived in 3 different states, and way more homes/cities, I hate mayonnaise, I have a relatively broad taste in music aside from country/rap/gospel, I stopped watching television for 4 years and counting. I have a big fear of driving cars, and my mother has the opposite a big fear of public transportation. I'm somewhat of a gamer too, I'm an unusual one in that I tend to just play one or two video games obsessively. And I'm a recovering WoW addict but idk if that's much of a quirk. The video games off the top of my head in the past that I played obsessively were Super Mario World,  Super Smash Brothers, Morrowind, Perfect Dark, Thief deadly shadows, Halo(s), World of Warcraft, and Fallout 3.

List of things that happened/I believed in the past.
I spent many hours in front of the mirror because I wasn't sure if the pupils in my eyes changed directions when I shifted my eyes, seriously it drove me crazy. Cause when I turned my eyes sideways I couldn't tell for sure. (Early early childhood).
I believed that WWE wasn't acting just because my childhood friend said so. (I used to believe anything my friends told me without any doubt).
I (mistakenly) assumed that racism was the ONLY type of bigotry. (And that only white people can be racist).
Back before I became more skeptical of the Bible I always took the Bible literally to become more paranoid. (Such as assuming a dark room was somehow closer to Hell or something silly like that).
I spent a great deal of my life ashamed of being short until I embraced it.
As a preteen I believed that lifetime imprisonment/the death penalty was an appropriate punishment for the most mild of crimes.
I used to be a fascist, then an anarchist now I'm neither.
(Really early childhood) believed that stuffed animals had feelings because my mother said something alluding to that.
When I was really young I refused to take off my sunglasses around people.
I was a nationalist until I turned 16, and had internet access.
When I was a preteen I badly wanted to blow up the sun with nukes because it always made me feel dehydrated, and I actually talked about that idea being very sure of myself a lot.
I used to be a bigoted agnostic who hated non-agnostics. (Yes seriously).
I became addicted to soda until my dentist told me I must quit.
When I was a kinder gardener I wanted to be a pilot before I knew the dangers of flying, which is ironic considering even the thought of driving cars scares me now.
Whenever someone said in a car ride that we'd be near a waterfall I became almost hysterically terrified, cause I always thought we were gonna drive right under an absolutely huge waterfall.
As a young child/preteen I believed/suspected that other people were just faking their emotions in an elaborate plot with ulterior motives trying to manipulate me, I even suspected family members of that. I was well into my teens by the time I figured out other people actually had emotions, and that they weren't always expressing them to manipulate me. (Blame my brother faking he was hurt when I was young).
As a young child I kept my shoes on a lot because I was always afraid of being chased or having my feet stepped on.
Had horizontally impacted wisdom teeth at an almost perfect 90 degree angle.

Things that happened to me.
Been in a potentially severe balloon accident when I was just a preteen. There were three of us in the gondola, and it flipped over before we were close enough to the ground. During those few seconds when the gondola literally turned upside down way above the ground we actually had to work as a team holding on to the rail, and press our butts together to not be thrown out by gravity, and then we had to land in some place full of cacti. Was sore for at least a day I think. Oh and I didn't event want to go on to the balloon I was scared something bad would happen, I got TALKED into it by my brother.   :verysad:
Threw up during PE due to heat exhaustion.
Was forced to ride a rollercoaster against my will. -_-
Became so disoriented from sleep deprivation I didn't understand why I was in my room, forgot how I got there, what it was, and just desperately searched for the tv controller. Then I forgot what I even was gonna do with the controller when I found it.
Been so sleep deprived I had hallucinations of spiders out of the corners of my eyes.
Was separated from my mother way too soon, then after returning her Christian supremacy just continually got worse (or I just became more aware of it), and I never fully recovered from it all.
When I first played Morrowind before I built up a caffeine tolerance I spent about 3 days without sleeping. I wasn't feeling tired at all, but my deeply worried parents begged me to sleep. It was one of the times I was the happiest I ever was, and I was laughing at everything too.

Basic life story. 0-5 Uneventful years. I see my brothers super nintendo become envious, and play regular nintendo after he moves out. During this time is when I'm also diagnosed with autism.  Around 6-10 years I live with my relatives, who are very devout Christians to put it lightly. 11-12 I briefly live with my single father, then with my mother, and stepfather. I didn't even start with much faith to begin with. It was just more of an agnosticy maybe feeling, but you know seeing over hundreds of people in multiple churches I went to repeatedly all while my link to the world, my mother was very much intent on raising me in a Christian way, which at the time strongly influenced me.  14-15 I start seriously doubting my faith.  I read several books. On the 5 most popular religions, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism. Either because I just found the other religions more appealing perhaps because they were new to me, or because I just didn't feel right with the ways of Christianity, I kept searching about. I liked Buddhism, and a bit of Wicca a lot but I just couldn't get myself to believe. Around the age of 16-18 I became increasingly more skeptical until becoming an atheist at 18.

My mother did not take it well. She blamed herself for it. Now several times she has repeatedly tried to convert me after promising she would leave me alone, to the point of me a lot of times desperately wanting to move out due to it. She knew this and felt bad, but then she just endlessly does it again. Between my (mistaken) assumption that my immediate family would never take my gender dysphoria seriously, and between my mother endlessly making up all kinds of Christian supremacist double standards, (such as nearly poking strangers inside of hospitals while preaching to them, assuming everyone is a Christian, not letting people even use the term "I swear" in front of her even though she all the time does far more offensive things. denying she is preaching when she is clearly preaching, trying to convert people at the most inappropriate times who don't even want to talk, going off at my father even for using the word evolution non literally/etc)... I couldn't take it anymore, and I almost ended up running away from home.

I didn't a lot the reasons I didn't was because I can't drive, and I'm afraid of getting lost/struggling to carry my stuff that far. I had almost certainly mistakenly assumed at the time that I finally found someone who deeply understood me, and cared for me to easily get away from my mother, and fix a lot of issues I'm currently having. Found out they were a shady character, which caused a heartbreak I'm still not over yet. On the upside it caused my family to realize some things I have going on are more serious than previously thought however. So I finally got directed here by my stepfather who understands what I'm going through now... And my mother of course she freaked out about it. It was about two days ago. My mother then said ridiculous things like "I know you're an atheist, but I don't want you talking to other atheists".

And then I explained to her that it was hypocritical for her to tell me that because she goes out of her way to talk to other Christians. Repeatedly my mother begged me not to come here. And she has been very depressed all day. She demanded my stepfather leave the apartment unit JUST for letting me know this place exists, and then she kinda slammed the door. Today she wasn't quite slamming the door, but closing it hard enough where it is a give-away of obvious anger. So here I am, trying to cope with the fact I can't even use the bathroom or kitchen sometimes without her trying to convert me. Caused by a mixture of money issues, and just her for whatever reason not leaving me alone.

I've lead a confusing life full of irony, and right now I'm waiting to see a therapist, contemplating on JUST how ridiculous it is that my mother is WAY more upset that I've joined this forum than me nearly running away, and eager to start posting here. Long winded introduction I know. This looks like a pretty nice forum. (Mildly edited for a few typos).

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum! Would you mind giving us a little background on yourself?
 

[Tank]

Welcome to the forum! Would you mind giving us a little background on yourself?
 

Hi Letra

Welcome to Happy Atheists!

Regards
Chris

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum! Would you mind giving us a little background on yourself?
 

Hi Letra

Welcome to Happy Atheists!

Regards
Chris

You're just jealous because I pressed the sarcasm button first!  

[Davin]

Welcome to the forums. I also hate mayonnaise.

[Recusant]

Hello and welcome to HAF, Letra.

I really enjoyed reading your intro post.  I'm glad to hear that you avoided what could have been a truly disastrous outcome with the "shady character."
 
It can be great to have people to talk to that have something in common with you, and I hope that you find this place helpful in that regard.  Since you've already decided on your own that you don't subscribe to your mother's religion, I can't see how talking with other non-believers would be such a terrible thing. No doubt your mother wants what's best for you, and is scared that we'll lead you astray in some way. It's just a place for sharing thoughts--we're not here to convince people to leave Jesus.  That's a decision a person makes for themselves.

 The thing is, being preached at usually just serves to drive a person further away from believing.  Maybe she can't help being worried, and also can't help trying to bring you back to her church, but if her efforts only have the opposite effect of what she wants, then she's hurting herself and you too.  It sounds like a tough situation, and an internet forum isn't a great refuge, but like I said, I hope you find at least a little of what you're looking for here.  I look forward to reading more posts from you.  

[periwinklefish]

[The Magic Pudding]

Congratulations Letra for surviving an interesting life.
Hope you like it here.

[Letra Runt]

Welcome!  You are most interesting!  Is it just me or were the words: "gender dysphoria" inexplicably thrown in there?  Can you explain this?  I'm quite curious.  Oh, and BTW... I'm new here too (yesterday), and this is a great forum, so far:).  I highly enjoy being an atheist... if only I could find a way for the whole world to share my joy!!!!!!

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-gender-dysphoria.htm  It was a mixture of my mother's repeated conversion attempts, and me feeling like my family didn't seem to be taking my dysphoria seriously that almost made me run away. I'll be seeing my therapist in about 4 days from now, or at least see the doctor that will sign me up with a therapist. Hopefully soon afterward I'll be feeling a bit better. As for the mistaken assumption about my family? I suppose they must have previously assumed I wasn't really that depressed, maybe partially because it's my emotions aren't always an obvious thing.

The thing is, being preached at usually just serves to drive a person further away from believing.  Maybe she can't help being worried, and also can't help trying to bring you back to her church, but if her efforts only have the opposite effect of what she wants, then she's hurting herself and you too.  It sounds like a tough situation, and an internet forum isn't a great refuge, but like I said, I hope you find at least a little of what you're looking for here.  I look forward to reading more posts from you.  

Yes it does further drive people away in general I think. I asked my mother in fact how she would feel if she saw a missionary that accidentally turned more people into atheists, but she just can't comprehend that. In fact I tried to explain this exact thing to her repeatedly, but she either keeps forgetting or can't fully realize it for some reason. And then today she actually suggested I go to a church.