New here. Hello!

[cheddamash]

Man, I'm telling you something, they mess with people's guilt receptors in that church.  Every freakin' time something bad happens, my wife and sometimes my mom express this "maybe we're being punished" thing that drives me nuts!!!!

I deal with this too.  I absolutely hate when people say it's "God's will." It sincerely angers me when people use this as an excuse not to put any effort into looking for answers to a problem. Also, when people say that after a tragedy and think that it somehow justifies it. Tsunami... "just God's will." 9/11... "God works in mysterious ways." WTF!

[Whitney]

Hi cheddamash, welcome to the forum.  I don't have any advice to give about raising kids with a religious spouse....I don't have any kids and my future husband is an atheist.  Although, dealing with the religious beliefs of grandparents/family and them wanting to influence my kids in that direction may be an issue I'll have in the future.

[SteveS]

I deal with this too. I absolutely hate when people say it's "God's will." It sincerely angers me when people use this as an excuse not to put any effort into looking for answers to a problem. Also, when people say that after a tragedy and think that it somehow justifies it. Tsunami... "just God's will." 9/11... "God works in mysterious ways." WTF!

Yup - definitely.  When I was talking with the Jehovah's Witnesses that came by my house, they told me the governments of man were destined to failure, that god knew they would fail.  This seems like such a defeatist attitude to me.

Reminding them that they should also be considering how often life goes smoothly and they forget that it sucks when shit goes down and that it is possible to happen just by living normally? lol may just start shit. Probably would with me til I got fed up haha.

Yeah, I usually just give a wry look and say "that's ridiculous - stop it".  It's not that they're trying to make me believe or anything, they just have this natural tendency to assume punishment is behind adversity.  That's neither mentally healthy nor constructive.  I believe it is a direct result of the conditioning of the catholic church.  Maybe I can make a name for it, GOC?  Guilt Obsessed Catholic?  It's only off by one letter from GOD....

...my husband hates religion pretty much but he doesn't claim to be an atheist. He's a Laveyan satanist actually...

Wait... isn't that a religion?

I was thinking the same thing.......an unconventional religion, for sure.  Maybe it doesn't qualify - don't satanists view themselves as gods?  Can gods be said to follow religions?

Hehe, this reminds me of an excerpt I saw from George H. Smith's book.  He asks the question "Is God an Atheist?".  That's just plain funny.

[skeptigirl]

So McQ, does your wife have weird thoughts like she'll be in eternity without you? Does she think you've condemned the kids to hell or anything like that? Seems like if you believe, that would be the logical conclusion.

[skeptigirl]

....  Every freakin' time something bad happens, my wife and sometimes my mom express this "maybe we're being punished" thing that drives me nuts!!!!

So the 2 yr old with cancer is God's will and the 20 year old with cancer is being punished?

[donkeyhoty]

So the 2 yr old with cancer is God's will

No that's karma.  The 2 year old was formerly a dog that bit several children before being put down.  And before that, in reverse order, St. Augustine, a mule, an elephant, a dutch peasant girl, Mandarin bureaucrat, steel worker in Manchester, and Sen. Joeseph McCarthy...

[McQ]

So McQ, does you wife have weird thoughts like she'll be in eternity without you? Does she think you've condemned the kids to hell or anything like that? Seems like if you believe, that would be the logical conclusion.

Heh, good questions. We haven't talked too in depth about it, but a few thoughts and some things I do know about this.

My wife has doubts too, and isn't beyond questioning her faith, but she is typical of people who are afraid when they start to question things.

She doesn't hold me accountable for my kids' decisions regarding their religious beliefs or lack of them, though. We did talk about that.

I think that if she continues to hold to her faith that she will continue to believe that we'll be together in the afterlife, somehow. The reason I think that is because that I have been through all of the catholic rites and sacrements, AND was "saved" in college. So I'm covered by protestant and RC beliefs! LOL!

We're still sorting everything out, but it has been working so far. I hope that the future works as well, and I think it will.

We'll see......

[SteveS]

So the 2 yr old with cancer is God's will and the 20 year old with cancer is being punished?

See what I mean?  It don't stand to reason (as we educated people say).

I never watch the TV show "House", but my brother was telling me about the last show.  I guess some woman was in a coma or something, and they pulled the plug, then she revived.  The other doctors and family were apparently calling it a miracle, so house pointed out that god only gets credit for the good stuff, and asks how come nobody blamed god for making her sick and trying to kill her in the first place.

Made me want to watch the show.

[skeptigirl]

House has had a couple of good atheist vs believers shows. The actual program is not medically correct but as fiction, they do a great job with such topics.

[MommaSquid]

House has had a couple of good atheist vs believers shows.

I cheer out loud when House says something snarky to the believers.  Grumpy and rational...gotta love it!