Laugh a little.

[Magdalena]

Religious Violence
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for! He said, “Like what?” I said, “Well… are you a religious man or an atheist?” He said, “Religious.” I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?” He said, “Christian.” I said, “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?” He said, Baptist Church of God.” I said, “Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?” He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God.” I said, “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?” He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915.” I said, “Die, heretic scum.” and pushed him off.
â€"Emo Phillips, comedian

[curiosityandthecat]

I love Emo Phillips. I still remember one bit from a show of his years and years ago:

"I was sitting in the waiting room at my proctologist's office when a nice young woman sat down next to me. She introduced herself and asked, 'So, what're you here for?' I said, 'I've got the largest hemorrhoids you've ever seen.' She said, 'Oh, is that why you're sitting on that bean bag chair?' 'Look again,' I said."

Slays me.

[Dries]

I love Emo Phillips. I still remember one bit from a show of his years and years ago:

"I was sitting in the waiting room at my proctologist's office when a nice young woman sat down next to me. She introduced herself and asked, 'So, what're you here for?' I said, 'I've got the largest hemorrhoids you've ever seen.' She said, 'Oh, is that why you're sitting on that bean bag chair?' 'Look again,' I said."

Slays me.