Dealing with a religous person that you're close to?

[ck18]

How do you guys or girls deal with religious people that you're really close to? My best friend decided to become a religious zealot and I can't really handle how close minded shes become. I don't know what to do.. because I don't want to lose her but it bothers me to no end for some reason. Have any of you ever had to cut ties with a very religious person you're close to?  Or how do you deal with it, just ignore the subject?

[pinkocommie]

How do you guys or girls deal with religious people that you're really close to? My best friend decided to become a religious zealot and I can't really handle how close minded shes become. I don't know what to do.. because I don't want to lose her but it bothers me to no end for some reason. Have any of you ever had to cut ties with a very religious person you're close to?  Or how do you deal with it, just ignore the subject?

My sister went through this wacky phase of uber Christianity and we were ok until she tried to argue with me and my dad about evolution possibly being a global evil scientist conspiracy.  My dad and her started screaming at each other and I ended up leaving.  A few days later we all apologized for letting it get out of hand and we just don't talk about it.  However, neither of us ever bring it up so it's a mutually accepted and practiced solution.  

If my sister felt she had to bring it up and I felt like talking about it with her was only going to result in a fight that I didn't want to have, I probably would have cut back on seeing her for a while until she hopefully chilled out.  If you care about your friend as much as I care about some of my friends, like they're my family, you probably don't want to tell them to eff off forever, just take a step back and give her some time and space to figure out whats up.

I could, however, be totally wrong since I have no idea about the situation or personalities involved.

[Typist]

You can't control adventures your friends decide to go on, but...

but it bothers me to no end for some reason.

... what you can maybe control is understanding why their opinions bother you.   I'd suggest focusing on things you can actually do something about.

[Whitney]

I had a friend that got increasingly religious over time, to the point where we no longer had anything in common because it also coincided with an increase in her backwards conservative views (many of which I find immoral).  I eventually no longer had a reason to call or or a desire to hang out and apparently the feeling was mutual...so we have quit talking to each other for the most part other than occasionally on facebook; and even then it is usually for major updates.

In other words, it's unfortunate to lose friends but if she is no longer someone you can relate to then there isn't anything you can do to force the friendship to continue.  If you want a chance of being friends later just let her be and don't give her a hard time over her religious views and if she becomes the friend you once had again be ready to renew that friendship and laugh with her over her moment of insanity.

[elliebean]

Having been "that" sort of person before, I'm actually grateful to all the friends and acquaintances I had over the years who were not shy about holding their ground, expressing their views, debating me, and letting me know when the views I was pushing were a huge pile of steaming crap - in no uncertain terms. Not everyone made it easy for me to feel that sense of superiority that comes with thinking you're automatically right about everything because you agree with "god". I was able to maintain a good friendship with quite a few of those people and the perspective they gave me was invaluable to my later development as a reasonably intelligent, rational and non-delusional person. Don't just stop talking about it. You don't have to bring it up all the time, but don't give her a free pass by not challenging her assertions when she does. Even if she decides she no longer wants to be your friend, you'll be doing you both a favor in the long run.

[Typist]

Not everyone made it easy for me to feel that sense of superiority that comes with thinking you're automatically right about everything because you agree with "god".

My take is that the passion for this sense of superiority is the main driver of the "theist vs. atheist" paradigm, from both sides of the equation.   To me, the more passionate anybody from either side is about the debate, the less seriously they seem to actually be about the topic itself.   No law against that of course, just sayin...

And besides, I have a better plan.   If we're either a theist or atheist, we can only be superior to half the people, which just won't do.  Lazy!

However, if we position ourselves as a "We don't knowist, worshipper of ignorance" we can pretend to be superior to almost everybody.  

It's just simple math.