Humorous Quips

[hismikeness]

I know many of you are like me on this board. How do I know? I have faith. Oh, wait, no! I have evidence. I am a regular reader of this board you see, and that is all the evidence I need to know that a lot of you have people in your lives who may know you are an atheist, probably know that you are right, but still are holding on to religion in a maybe, maybe not kind of way. I think deep down they are scared to let it go...

But then, there is also people who are so brainwashed they can't see through it but are still relatively good people. Often, these types of people in your lives will say something that is worth a humorous quip that would totally smash them and their comment, but you don't say it because the time isn't right, the location isn't right or you just don't want to hurt their feelings because you are a good person and care about other people.  

You know have a locale to get those thoughts out.



Insert: Situation; set-up
Add: Humorous quip you really wanted to say.
Optional: follow-up with why you didn't

Feel free to make something up as long as it is witty, funny, or profound in an entertaining way.

I sense this may be pretty good with some members on this board... like you Curio. SSY. Lone. Will. Whitney...

Hismikeness

[SSY]

I try and avoid discussing religion when I am within throwing distance of the other participant, you never know when people might turn nasty. Aside from that, discussing religion with people, if they don't agree with you I find to be a great way of souring your relationship. Sorry, no quips  

Did you have any in mind when starting this thread?

[theTwiz]

Situation: (ex)Girlfriend's roommate's 20th birthday party at their apartment. Girlfriend's friend - we'll call her Alice - from Baylor is getting sauced.  Alice, Alice's boyfriend, my buddy Alex and myself are outside smoking.  Out of nowhere, Alice asks me if I've been saved by christ.  Our conversation thus far had nothing to do with this, so the other three of us are a little taken back by the out-of-place comment.  I wasn't sure I heard her correctly, so I said, "What?".  She asks me again. Alice's boyfriend looks annoyed, and tells her no one wants to hear this or talk about it at a party.  Alice gets a little testy and says something along the lines of, "no this is important, to save your soul you must give it over to christ, and I want to make sure my friend is dating a guy...blah blah blah".

Humorous quip: I turned to my buddy Alex and said, "Nothing says you're a christian like a drunk girl with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other, telling me about how to save my soul."

Why I didn't: Actually, I did.  I still get quoted to this day for that comment.

[hismikeness]

Situation: I'm standing in line to buy a pack of smokes at the local gas station mini mart next to where I work. The clerk, a large white woman who constantly has hard core rap playing on the boom box behind the counter is talking to the vendor of some energy drinks. I overhear the conversation about a truck she bought, but then found a new truck of the same model, with less miles, for half the price. As she came back behind the counter I asked about the truck. She told me the same thing... newer, 1/2 price, less miles. She said she was bummed that she bought the one she did, but "God led me to it, so the other one must be a lemon." I wasn't sure if I heard her right, so I asked "What now?" She said again, "God led me to the truck I bought."

What I wanted to say: "Really? With all that is going on in the world, God is worried about what truck you buy? I don't think he meddles in those kinds of affairs."  

What I said: "True."  I didn't really want to get in to it.

Hismikeness

[elliebean]

I would have said maybe god just doesn't like you.

[hismikeness]

More likely god doesn't like rap music.

Hismikeness