Plans for our War on Christmas

[karadan]

For the last year i've been splicing holly and mistletoe with the poison oak gene. As soon as people start to decorate their houses it will be fat lips, puffy eyes and over-loaded emergency rooms.

Mwuhahahaha!!

[Big Mac]

God damnit, Project Antichrist-mas can't go forward if we keep losing documents.

First, we are going to hold a day where we sacrifice 666 babies to Satan. We will then drink the blood of the virgin babes while destroying all hopes for pure Christians shopping at their local Wal-Marts by demanding that the store not sell to Christians.

All nativity scenes are to be smashed on sight and anyone dressed as Santa is going to pay....pay dearly...

Anything else?

[LoneMateria]

God damnit, Project Antichrist-mas can't go forward if we keep losing documents.

First, we are going to hold a day where we sacrifice 666 babies to Satan. We will then drink the blood of the virgin babes while destroying all hopes for pure Christians shopping at their local Wal-Marts by demanding that the store not sell to Christians.

All nativity scenes are to be smashed on sight and anyone dressed as Santa is going to pay....pay dearly...

Anything else?

I think the documents said something about the salvation army too.  Something about stealing all their bells or filling their buckets with scorpions or something I don't remember anymore ... someone had to go and lose the official documents

[Big Mac]

God damnit, Project Antichrist-mas can't go forward if we keep losing documents.

First, we are going to hold a day where we sacrifice 666 babies to Satan. We will then drink the blood of the virgin babes while destroying all hopes for pure Christians shopping at their local Wal-Marts by demanding that the store not sell to Christians.

All nativity scenes are to be smashed on sight and anyone dressed as Santa is going to pay....pay dearly...

Anything else?

I think the documents said something about the salvation army too.  Something about stealing all their bells or filling their buckets with scorpions or something I don't remember anymore ... someone had to go and lose the official documents

It was on page 69, we are to pee in their donation buckets AFTER taking the money to feed poor people. Gawd, people, get it right!!!

[Renegnicat]

For the record: I'm not with these guys.  

[jrosebud]

I've spiked all the Egg Nog with something special it should be totaly unexpected...*wispers* it's Rum. Now when all the good never-ever-drink-because-it's-a-sin Christians (thats all of them right?) Have an "innocent" holiday drink with thier families they'll get drunk, beligerant, and fight. Since they're Christians and never fight with family especialy during the holidays They won't know how to cope, because Christians never fight, so their families will be torn apart and they will no longer celibrate together. Ruining the holiday for them forever. Muwahahaha.


I can't belive noone has ever thought of this before this before.

Most of the Catholics in my family are either German or Irish.  Idea fail.  

[LoneMateria]

It was on page 69, we are to pee in their donation buckets AFTER taking the money to feed poor people. Gawd, people, get it right!!!

Oh yeah thats right it was right after fart in jars and give them as gifts.

[Recusant]

...draw Hitler mustaches on the plastic baby Jesus lawn statues at Wal-Mart.

Umm, I don't know if you read this or thought it up on your own, but it sounds like Special Tactic #3 for the Junior Atheist Ninja Corps: Large handlebar mustaches for Virgin Mary and stylish pencil mustaches (à la Gomez Adams) for Baby Jesus. (If I remember correctly, the toothbrush mustache you describe was considered and rejected by the World Atheist Conspiracy Council as being a bit gauche.)  This is only for the JANC though.  You want to go ahead and do it, fine, but you'll be spoiling Christmas for some needy atheist kids in your area if you do.

By the way, good to see you here again, curio'.  Excellent thread, thank you!

[Tanker]

Just pointing out that most of the Christians I know don't think it's a sin to drink.  They can hold their liquor better than I can.  If we're going to do this war on Christmas thing right, we have to go at it from a different angle.  We could draw Hitler mustaches on the plastic baby Jesus lawn statues at Wal-Mart.  Yes, no?

Maybe joke delivery fail?  

It was supposed to be an ignorant stereotype. I don't see how an your honest reponse to my joke post enhances anything.

Me: knock knock?
You: There isn't a door there you're just saying "knock knock" and pantomiming.

See how that kinda ruins the fun?

Regardless I have decided that it's a waste of good booze. So instead I've decided to go to the chuch down the street and offer to set a traditional Christmas ceremony. I still haven't decided if it will be the Babylonian feast to the Son of Isis or the Roman Saturnalia to the god Saturn. Whichever I choose I think they will so happy to learn I've kept to the original meaning of the holiday.

[jrosebud]

Just pointing out that most of the Christians I know don't think it's a sin to drink.  They can hold their liquor better than I can.  If we're going to do this war on Christmas thing right, we have to go at it from a different angle.  We could draw Hitler mustaches on the plastic baby Jesus lawn statues at Wal-Mart.  Yes, no?

Maybe joke delivery fail?  :hmm: My observation was meant to poke fun at that in a lighthearted manner.  Methinks you're kind of trampling the fun a bit, as I've responded in good humour.  *shrug*

[Ninteen45]

ON WIT ZE PLANS!

[buttercupbaby]

Uh Oh, someone is not very happy with you people....

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/208058

[Big Mac]

It was on page 69, we are to pee in their donation buckets AFTER taking the money to feed poor people. Gawd, people, get it right!!!

Oh yeah thats right it was right after fart in jars and give them as gifts.

Now you're getting it!!!!

[Tom62]

I intend to hack the church computer; put some harmless pictures of naked children on it; then call the FBI anonymously to tell them that I've discovered a child porno ring. With a little luck the whole church community will have to spend their Christmas Holidays in prison   .

[SSY]

Well Tom, you may be wasting your time by hacking in a planting the porn, why not just phone the FBI now, save the effort.