Ol' Saint Nick?

[Sophus]

I've never understood the Santa fib. Anyone here play that game with their children?

Have a very unoffensive, politically correct holiday!

[Kylyssa]

I have no kids but I wouldn't play the Santa fib if I had.

[rlrose328]

I've never understood the Santa fib. Anyone here play that game with their children?

Have a very unoffensive, politically correct holiday!

We do the Santa thing.  Yes we do.  We consider it a healthy childhood fantasy that is just too much fun for all of us.  We do gifts to each other "from santa" and continue to do so even as adults.  It's always something that no one has put on their wish lists.  We do stockings, the cookies and whole thing.

The kid is 8.  Last year, he told us we were Santa but it's okay with him.  LOL!  We went over the whole "Santa lives within us" thing and he thought it was so much fun to think he can be Santa too.  He never once thought it was a "lie" or that we'd misled him in any manner.  We told him it's a fun thing that parents do with their kids to help add a little something to the holiday.

This year, he's insisting that Santa is real.  I think he's sad to let the fantasy go and if he does, maybe he won't get "Santa gifts."  He doesn't want to feel "short-changed."  We told him we will ALWAYS do Santa gifts, even after he's 10, 15, and even 20.  We each took him shopping to get each of us (me, his dad and Grandma) a "Santa gift" to put out on Christmas eve at Grandma's house.  The entire time we were shopping, he kept saying, "Ho Ho HO!" in a deep voice and he told the gal at the checkout that these were Santa gifts he was getting for his Dad and Grandma.  HOW CUTE!  :hmm:    

I don't know ANYONE else who felt lied to.  I do know several Christian families at our school who don't do Santa because they don't want the kids to question God's existence when they find out Santa isn't real.  That just reinforced our decision TO DO Santa.  To heck with 'em.   :banna:

[Whitney]

I don't know if we will pay the santa game with our (future) kids or not.  I know it would piss off our (or at least my mom) parents if we tell our kids the truth about santa but at the same time I want to have a very open and honest relationship with my kids (I realize that won't be easy).  This other guy I have talked to on the internet handled it by letting his kids know the truth about santa yet at the same time told them that it's a little game they need to play by pretending he is real in order to celebrate the spirit of giving.  Either way, pretend is good for a child's imagination.  I'm pretty sure hubby won't want to promote promote santa as real...but we haven't had this conversation since it's going to be a while before it is applicable to our lives.

[Sophus]

I don't know ANYONE else who felt lied to.

I remember as a child I felt betrayed. Not because I was disappointed that Santa wasn't real but because I had always trusted my parents so much so that, naturally, I believed them over the classmates who would say "No, Santa doesn't exist." It led me to question them and doubt their intentions. I am in no way saying this about you rlrose, but it was selfishness on my parents part. They were so obsessed with protecting my faith in Santa Claus that they neglected to think about any other consequences it might have on me. It hurt their credibility which not only isn't something I'm willing to risk, I just get the most God-awful feeling if I lie to a child. Besides, I'm the one coughing up the cash, I want credit for it over some old stranger.

I dunno, I guess that's why I get a little frustrated when adults promote Santa to Todd. And they always seem so disappointed and think I'm some sort of a killjoy for it.

[rlrose328]

I don't know ANYONE else who felt lied to.

I remember as a child I felt betrayed. Not because I was disappointed that Santa wasn't real but because I had always trusted my parents so much so that, naturally, I believed them over the classmates who would say "No, Santa doesn't exist." It led me to question them and doubt their intentions. I am in no way saying this about you rlrose, but it was selfishness on my parents part. They were so obsessed with protecting my faith in Santa Claus that they neglected to think about any other consequences it might have on me. It hurt their credibility which not only isn't something I'm willing to risk, I just get the most God-awful feeling if I lie to a child. Besides, I'm the one coughing up the cash, I want credit for it over some old stranger.

I dunno, I guess that's why I get a little frustrated when adults promote Santa to Todd. And they always seem so disappointed and think I'm some sort of a killjoy for it.

I guess it's hard for me to see the Santa thing as a lie.  I know, technically and realistically, it IS lying to say something exists and it doesn't.  That's how I feel about the god myth.  The way I see it, though, encouraging belief in a mythical being whose only object is to GIVE once a year doesn't seem like a bad thing to me.  It illustrates the goodness in people that is so lacking in contemporary society.

Encouraging belief in a mytical being who is judgemental, cruel, demands total devotion and prompts people to kill is an entirely different thing altogether.

When our son was born, we never really discussed if we would do Santa or not... we just did.  We had Santa as kids and neither of us ever questioned whether it was a lie or not.  I find it sad that the Christian parents at my son's school don't let their kids have the fun of Santa but instead, mire them down in the god/jesus mythology, which (if you ask me) is very depressing... their celebrating the birth of this child who has been doomed to death before he is even born.  In first grade, one of them told Brendan she believes Santa is out there but her parents have banned him from going to their house.  Isn't that sad?  Brendan said he told her to not worry, Santa isn't real "either."  LOL!  Hmm... guess he figured it out earlier than I though.  

Maybe you just have to guess how your kid will react when they find out Santa isn't real?  But by then, it would be too late.

[Whitney]

My sister refused to accept that Santa wasn't real, even after my parents told her the truth.   Her friends at school thought she was weird for still believing in Santa.  I think I was the one that finally showed her our parents playing Santa.

[Sophus]

I guess it's hard for me to see the Santa thing as a lie.

...Maybe you just have to guess how your kid will react when they find out Santa isn't real?  But by then, it would be too late.

Todd knows Santa (and God) is not real. But had it been a different story, I couldn't imagine it being a positive reaction.

I know it doesn't seem like much of a lie but whenever I've had to play along with nieces and nephews it gives me the same uneasy feeling a lie does. The Santa fib is just an extra stressor to me during a time that is suppose to be of the utmost joy.

[Wechtlein Uns]

Ah hell with it, I'll give them a cup of eggnog and their "Gameboy DS" and tell 'em to shut up and keep quiet. And I'll mean it too.

 

[Sophus]

Ah hell with it, I'll give them a cup of eggnog and their "Gameboy DS" and tell 'em to shut up and keep quiet. And I'll mean it too.

 

I think everyone would agree that you have serious parenting potential.

[Wechtlein Uns]

At least I wouldn't beat them. No GO TO SLEEP! I'll sic the cucui on you!  

[rlrose328]

I discussed this again with hubby... just to see if we should discuss it.  LOL!  And we both stand by our Santa myth.  He remembers asking his mom how there could be Santas at all 5 of the malls at the same time and his mom said they are Santa's helpers because Santa needs help around the holidays.  Now THAT I probably wouldn't do... but he was 5 at the time and he really didn't buy it.  When he was 6, he figured out the logistics made the story impossible, but he played along because of his younger brother and sister, neither of whom were scarred by the "lie" either.

What is wrong with the fantasy of Santa?  Is it just because one must "lie" in order to carry out the fantasy?

Do you never play make believe, pretending to be pirates or Pokemon trainers or any other number of fun fantasy stuff because it would be a lie?  There are so many lies we tell our kids on a daily basis, why stop at this one?  If your kid brings you a picture he drew and really, it's crap... do you tell him so?  If he sings you a song and asks if you like it, do you tell him no, it was horribly off-key but thanks for trying?  Of course not!  What about ghosts and goblins at Halloween?  We mess around with that... and he KNOWS they're not real, but he plays along with us.

We are grounded in reality ALL the time.  A little fantasy at the holidays is just the ticket to add something special.

[Sophus]

That seems to be the difference. Your boy knows he's not real and plays along. I never considered that possibility. Perhaps I underestimate him, but I don't think Todd would have really understood why we would get a kick out of pretending in something, when he was younger. And I think he might confuse reality with fantasy then, not that there's anything wrong with pretending. But when one pretends they are aware of it. Otherwise it's delusion. I remember that I was easily bewildered as a young child, so clarity is virtue for me with him.

[rlrose328]

Okay, I understand where you're coming from.  We just let it all naturally happen, without putting so much importance on it.  It's not the be-all and end-all of our holiday, so there wasn't the pressure of believing.  We both felt from the beginning, without talking about it until recently, that if he showed any doubts, we'd be honest.  We wouldn't cajole, make up a lot of details... the more details there are, the more thought goes into the "lie," and the more valid it becomes.

But it's possible if he was still believing in Santa 100% at age 8, knowing he's a rule-stickler and very black/white in his reality, I could see him being VERY upset if he found out Santa wasn't real.  But it's almost like he's known for much longer than we KNOW he's known, so yeah, he's playing along with us.  

The only problem now is that he can't keep a secret when it's good... he soooo wants to tell Dad what "Santa" got him for his stocking.  LOL!  As long as no one mentions "Christmas stockings," he's good.

[Wechtlein Uns]

I remember being told the story La llorona as a kid during christmas time. That story scared the, pardon my french, shit out of me. What made it worse was that we were camping next to a lake at the time. I'd never been so scared in my whole life.

But I wasn't scarred. I think I'll tell the story to my kids.