Opinions on dating

[Zarathustra]

I'm polyamorous so any partners must be as well.  Once someone passes the poly filter, it's pretty easy to find people in that grouping who are either atheist, agnostic, or simply very accepting and supportive of others' choices.

[Wechtlein Uns]

I have yet to meet someone. Ever. I don't mind, though it's annoying when people assume I've had sex before. Nope, I'm just minding my own business, and waiting for someone I really like to come along...yep.

What's wrong with me?!?

[curiosityandthecat]

What's wrong with me?!?  On the other hand, experience is worth its weight in gold, and you'll never know what you like until you do some... erm... sampling.

Why haven't you met anyone? Don't get out much? Shy? Awkward? Sociopath?  

[wheels5894]

I am a bit past the dating thing - 32 year married - so I am not up with this, quite. However, if the question is about long term relationships then I suppose I might as well have my penny's worth.

I'd say if you are looking long term, that there needs to be a lot of common ground between the couple and I do really think religion is very significant. Over the years I have seen many couples marry and separate and, of course, the Catholics are quite happy to get an anulment which I think is quite easy if you spouse was not catholic. The thing is that a religion gives one a different mindset not to mention attendance commitments and so on. It could even involve a significant financial involvement too.

Those marriages I have seen to be most successful were ones where the question of religion was one in whoch the couple agreed. I think anything less is asking for trouble. Of course, I met my wife in church - I was an organist and Christian at the time and she joined my choir! As an atheist I am not sure what the equivalent of church is where one might meet potential spouses. Perhaps we need to start Sunday meetings and serve atheist beer at them!  

[Wechtlein Uns]

What's wrong with me?!?  On the other hand, experience is worth its weight in gold, and you'll never know what you like until you do some... erm... sampling.

Why haven't you met anyone? Don't get out much? Shy? Awkward? Sociopath?  :eek:
No. Let me rephrase that. There is one girl that at the time I really liked. But we didn't see each other too much, as we went to different schools across the city, she was a grade younger than me, and she was still deeply catholic. I let it go because I wasn't even 15 at the time, so I didn't think I had to rush or hurry. I still don't think I need to rush and hurry... a girlfriend might be nice... I think the reason I liked her though was because she had a good head on her shoulders and was as interested in books and learning as I was. I have yet to meet someone like that again...  :shock:  Scary. Not only that, but I don't think sex appeal could hold me for long. They're kind of... well... emptyheaded. No other way to say it.

Wow, I must sound really pathetic.  

[curiosityandthecat]

I have yet to meet someone like that again...   ), hang out in coffee shops on a college campus and conspicuously read any Douglas Adams book.
Second, ....
Third, profit!

Wow. I've just realized how slutty the girls around me all dress. In san antonio, that's a bad thing. Cholas... their stomachs spill over their pants like a burst open can of buscuit mix

Not at all. You sound like someone any self-respecting, intelligent woman in her mid-to-late 20s is looking for. Unless she's gay. Then you're kind of SOL.

[Wechtlein Uns]

Not at all. You sound like someone any self-respecting, intelligent woman in her mid-to-late 20s is looking for. Unless she's gay. Then you're kind of SOL.

eheheh... there's not too many of those in San Antonio.
y'know what I like, sex appeal wise? Asian girls. I can't stop looking at their eyes. They have beautiful faces. And they're usually very clean, from what I hear. That's not like the girls here. lol.

[curiosityandthecat]

y'know what I like, sex appeal wise? Asian girls. I can't stop looking at their eyes. They have beautiful faces. And they're usually very clean, from what I hear. That's not like the girls here. lol.

You and I are much more alike than you may have thought.  

[Wechtlein Uns]

Oh wow, she's beautiful. You're a lucky man, whitey.  

but you really are lucky.  

[curiosityandthecat]

Oh wow, she's beautiful. You're a lucky man, whitey.  

but you really are lucky.   I'm like... neon white. I always tease my girlfriend about it, because Asian women tend to try everything under the sun (hah, get it?) to stay as pale as possible. The whiter, the better (at least in Chinese culture... Japanese, too, methinks). Whereas, here, the tanning industry is huge and the concept of a "healthy tan" (of which there is no such thing) rises above all else.

I'm real big on race issues, though. I've done a lot work and research of Whiteness studies and even more on racism. Hell, my graduate advisor's surrogate father was Wilfred Little, Malcolm X's older brother. I think it's unfair to judge people simply because of the level of melanin they have in their skin (or the make-up of their chromosomes or what they do with their genitals). At the same time, I think it's important that we stay aware of our differences and elevate them to a level at which we can poke fun at them. Through humor, we become one.

Still, yes; I am very lucky.   Even now, after over two years with my girlfriend, she just melts whenever I randomly speak Chinese.

[Faithless]

I have dated religious people in the past, mostly because at the time I was in the Bible Belt and at that time I didn't know any atheists or I would have dated them, believe me.

Once I went out with a guy who took me to a revival (I thought we were going to a movie).  I was not thrilled, but because I was brought up to be polite, I didn't say anything.  I decided to get through the experience and never go out with him again.  Well, this was a real live, honest to goodness revival in a tent, no less.  The place was packed, and of course there were people getting faith healed, people screaming and fainting in the aisles, and all sorts of mob-hysteria religious nonsense.  I have never felt so uncomfortable and out of place in my life.  It was actually scary the way some people were behaving.

Well, my date had a grand old time singing and praying, but when he grabbed my hand to drag me up to the guy who was doing the laying on of hands, I refused to go, saying something along the lines of, "I can't believe you actually believe this bullshit."  Okay, so at 18 I wasn't really diplomatic.  So he got mad and told me I was going to hell if I didn't go up and get blessed.  I said that was fine with me.  Then he really got mad.  I took the one refuge open to me at that time:  I had to laugh.  It was just so insane!  People moaning and screaming all around us, fainting in the aisles, praising Jesus at the top of their lungs, waving their hands around in the air, dragging their horribly ill or deformed or otherwise not normal relatives up to be faith healed by some slick-haired charlatan with a deep, resounding voice.  It was nuts!

So I laughed and laughed.  Luckily the people around us were having a wonderful time being carried away with religious fervor, or I might have ended up being torn to pieces.  A tent revival is probably not the best place to make fun of religion.  So he took me home (without getting hands layed on) in a huff, and I couldn't stop laughing the whole way home.  Needless to say he never asked me out again.  Yay!

Anyway, yeah, that's why I avoid dating religious people.

[Wechtlein Uns]

Nice.

[oldschooldoc]

Wow, so much to say here.

I have been in a committed relationship for over two years now. She was raised what I would call baptolic, kind of like me. Baptist and catholic that is. She is very religious. She believes a god has a hand in everything, and she always tries to tell me that "it happened for a reason". Lol, and I always answer, yeah I'm sure that reason has something to do with the laws of science. Religion is a very touchy subject for us.

What makes it even more difficult is that I know this is the girl I'm going to marry, no question about it. She is great to me and loves me unconditionally (obviously) even though looks-wise she is waaayyy out of my league. I'm 6'4", 295 lbs of ugly (believe me, it doesn't bother me) and she is this gorgeous, petite little thing at 5'3", 130 lbs. Back to what is important, though. We have had serious arguments over the past couple of months over how to raise our children when we have them. At first I was staunchly against the idea of them going to church. She, of course, wants them to have god in their lives. I know it sounds retarded that we argue over hypothetical situations, but I think it's important to get out of the way now and so does she. Well, me being the level-headed one (again, obviously, since I don't believe in fairy tales) decided that, well, I was raised in a church (actually two) and I still found reason. I just have to hope that I raise my kids to question, question, question!

Aside from that, every other aspect of our relationship is great. She loves my sense of humor (which, quite honestly can be a bit dry and mean most of the time) and I love her laugh, so it's perfect. Well, nearly perfect.

And they all lived happily ever after...haha, couldn't resist...

Good luck Moosader, you will need it in this crazy world of love!