My Failure as a Christian

[dodgecity]

The following is a short essay on belief that I made into an "atheist propaganda" video. You can watch the video if you are too lazy too read, or if you just want to make fun of my voice.

I mention something from curiosityandthecat's thread, so thanks to him for causing me to think critically.

As a believer in nonsense, you live a very unfulfilling life.

Your very mode of thinking is tied to this crude vision, this malleable, inexplicable truth that you must deliberately cling to because it just doesn’t stick on its own.  Faith is immoral. It’s despicable in that it is merely a way to justify thoughts and actions by other means than those we would normally use in our every day lives as rational, thinking people.

The chill up your spine is wholly physical. We can explain those goose bumps and they are indeed evidence, evidence against your silly notions that there must be deeper implications to your completely physical experiences. You say that you are to the painting as the Divine is to you. If your existence is proof of a sentient architect, what makes that sentient architect an exception to this universal rule you’ve spouted on about? To say that he’s God is not a sufficient explanation. Under that logic, who’s to say that we’re not gods? The idea of a God comes naturally to you because it’s easy, and you find comfort in effortless pursuits.

Every experience you’ve ever had is attributable to your five sense organs: eyes, ears, mouth, nose, and nervous system. You have experienced nothing outside of these five physical organs. Why do you feel the need to imagine that there is more? It’s fairly straightforward. There’s nothing in this life that gives implications for something more.

You regard the natural and the physical as common and meaningless. But suppose there is no supernatural. Now you can understand how I see the world. It is not common, it is not meaningless. It is all there is, and it is beautiful. It is wondrous.

To think that God has a plan for us, in my opinion, is the most depressing concept I can imagine. Even if that plan happens to be glorious, it’s not my plan. What’s the point of being self aware if you are going to relate yourself to an inanimate object by assuming that you have creator and a set purpose? What’s the point of being alive if you can’t see the profundity of being alive, this fundamental disparity between the painting and yourself?

In high school English class, everyone learns about the art of rhetoric: ethos, logos, and pathos. Try applying this concept to your Bible. Revealing, isn’t it? Ethos is the only form of rhetoric that the Bible has going for it: the authority of the author. And because the authority of the author cannot be proved by the authority of the author, you’ll soon find yourself at a dead end. So it is with all nonsense. Move on already. You’re not handed a divine purpose, so quit whining about it and find your own.  Or rather, decide your own. Sound scary, blasphemous even? That’s because the very themes of Christianity prohibit you from experiencing liberation in your existence.

You can call Christianity a lot of things, but an attribute that it most certainly does not possess is freedom. Christians deal with this by camouflaging other characteristics as freedom. The deluded tend to say they've been "set free" by losing their freedom because only true freedom is found in God when you let him take control. How can letting someone take control ever be considered a form of freedom? When you say freedom, you don’t really mean freedom in the sense of the word. You might mean peace, joy, or purpose, but actual freedom (doing what you decide is worthwhile and good) is not on your agenda at all.

I do get sick of rambling on about how much of an error your silly beliefs are, because all it takes is a moment’s thought to realize that, but I never tire of pointing out what a detrimental error it is. To detach oneself from reality can never be a good thing.

I consider the abandonment of my nonsensical beliefs as the crowning achievement of my life. The fact that I could be moved by reason to escape 20 years of indoctrination is something I am quite proud of. But, as many believers have pointed out, I have failed as a Christian. If being a Christian is all about maintaining preconceptions against evidence and reason, then there is nothing in this world that I would rather fail at.

Why write this? I just felt like expressing myself with regard to the so called "usefulness" of religion. Christians seem to think that even if they were incorrect, their life is grander, and more fulfilling than mine. I felt compelled to make a case against that notion.

[myleviathan]

Nice job. I read it yesterday and watched the video today. I also watched your video on slavery which I particularly liked. That's such a huge issue with the 'Word of God' and Christians somehow always find ways of justifying it yet holding God in the same loving regard. There was a guy who posted a comment on your slavery video that mentioned if you only understood hermeneutics more... I can't stand that!! Hermeneutics is just a $5 word for Biblical interpretation. Can't they see they're interpreting the truth to whatever they want??

By the way I liked the sleeping guy rolling over in the background

[rlrose328]

Excellent video and diatribe... and I'm so glad you escaped the indoctrination and I'm proud of you for failing... how many times will you hear that in your life?  I can only hope my son fails as spectacularly as you!  

[SteveS]

Hey dodgecity, I was curious about something.  I know that in another thread here a theist poster accused you of "failing" as a Christian, but is this common?  Is this is common attack against atheists that leave a religion?  I'm willing to accept that it is, I just honestly don't know.  I guess having never been a Christian nobody has personally accused me of "failing" at it.  I'm just curious how much people run into this (seemingly ridiculous) attitude......

[dodgecity]

SteveS, I spend a lot of time on youtube, and I typically get responses like that. There's variations, here's a few more common ones:

Well, I was where you were once...

The fact that it only took two months for you to abandon your faith shows that you never had it in the first place.

....etc. Anything that uses the idea of blind faith as something they have which I lack. It's the concept that we should give up everything for God, even reason and logic.

[SteveS]

Hey dodge - thanks for the response.  Wow, that's really ...... well, annoying.  

You might get a kick out of this.  I was reading a fictional story a few years ago, can't remember the story or the author, but anyway there was this priest in the book who doubted the truth of his religion.  So, one of the other characters asked him (reasonably) how he could keep his faith if he had so much doubt?  His answer was basically "Everyone has their own cross to carry.  Perhaps mine is doubt."  Which always struck me as a "perfect" religious answer.  Why?  Because:

It's the concept that we should give up everything for God, even reason and logic.

Indeed.  Faith, to the religious, seems to stand as the light in which everything else makes sense.  If faith is what you use to explain and understand the world, then first, you must have faith.  Then, you can explain (or in this case "rationalize" would maybe be a better word) everything.  Granted, this priest was part of a fictional story, but I found this attitude realistic.  For example, here was an argument I encountered in a discussion on this very board (paraphrased, of course):

1) I first must place my faith in God.
2) I then have to find out what God is like, so I use the bible because it is his word
3) The bible tells me that God is incapable of lying
4) Therefore, since contradictions can't be true, the bible must not contain any contradictions, because it is the word of God and God is incapable of lying
5) I have logically demonstrated that there cannot be contractions in the bible - if it appears that there are, then it is our understanding which is flawed

There are some circular problems with this argument, but the relevant point to this discussion is that there never seems to be a satisfactory answer to the question "Why did you start with faith?  Why must you first place your faith in God?".  I argued that we must use logic as our starting point, because only these principles seem truly self evident.  Logic is the light in which everything else makes sense.  Try making a sentence, thought, or idea, the meaning and truth of which stands independently of logic.  Seems impossible by definition.....

[dodgecity]

SteveS, you hit the nail on the head. Thanks for understanding.

our understanding which is flawed

I swear, I just got this reply from someone on youtube. So annoying. All we can trust is our own understanding, at a fundamental level.

[curiosityandthecat]

A tad Cartesian, are we?