True Story

[xSilverPhinx]

Without the water spray the heat from the drill would have been very painful.

That makes perfect sense, but every other time I've gone to the dentist the drill wasn't like a water fountain, throwing water up and all over my face and trickling down to the back of my head. I think his drill was uncalibrated. 

[xSilverPhinx]

Apartments, right? I was so eager to move out of the previous house that when I moved in I suffered from temporary blindness due to the peculiar heart shape my eyes had taken, but as time passed and they returned to their prior globular form I began to see more clearly and think to myself, hmm.
 
The bad paint job, 'paper walls', a cracked toilet seat that had to be replaced, water pipe leaks and a supernatural experience make up the list of why I would have thought twice before calling this space located ten stories up 'home'.

Last week we were hit by what seemed like a mini typhoon. My phone shook and beeped to announce I had received a message, which I checked. It was from the Civil Defense agency warning that strong winds and rain were approaching. Hailstorms too, just in case getting such a message from the agency wasn't scary enough.

OK, I thought. I didn't need to be anywhere, I'll just encapsulate myself in this apartment and everything should be fine, right?

Wrong. The gods of suffering would not have it.

I'll close the windows and shutters in a minute... About 15 minutes after receiving the message it started. At first, a whistle as the wind picked up speed, which became louder and louder until a full minute later papers were taking flight, curtains were trying to free themselves and doors were slamming.

My bedroom door. When that one slammed shut I felt it in my soul. This is the state of its wooden frame now:

Spoiler

I struggled to close the metal shutters and windows to keep glass shards from flying. Water was hurling in like I was in a ship caught in an ocean storm...and then the lights went out.

[xSilverPhinx]

It was already pitch-black night. I fumbled for my phone in the impenetrable darkness cursing myself for not having charged it before the power shortage. 20% battery left.

I turned on the flashlight and found the couch, on which I sat uncomfortably sweating and fanning myself until the rain stopped and the wind died down back into a whistle. It was at least 37 degrees Celsius outside and inside the fortress I had created for myself against the wind it must have been even hotter.

As the hours in darkness passed and my phone slowly died, I felt the quiet desperation crawling into my brain become louder and louder until it was near deafening.

How long is this going to take? What am I going to do?

I decided going to sleep was the best way to pass the time. I turned the knob on my table fan so that it would turn on when the power returned and tried as best I could to sleep uninterrupted by the silence and heat. I plugged the charger to my phone and closed my eyes hoping day would come soon. I had no idea what time it was.

[xSilverPhinx]

Morning came slowly, unaccompanied by electricity. Since there was no way I could set the alarm, I had woken up late so I scrambled to get ready to catch the 8:20 bus. The elevators weren't working so I opened the door to the emergency exit to expose a dark, stuffy corridor. I closed the door and read the sign again. Emergency exit.

This is ridiculous, I thought. How can an emergency exit be so dangerously dark? There were no emergency lights. The side windows were closed as if to conceal the dark stairway from the outside world. The air smelt as if I had opened the door to ancient catacombs. If there were ever a real emergency every panicky soul in this building would be fucked. 

I took a deep breath and started slowly making my way down, opening the windows as I went so that light would bounce off the steps, making them visible. Eventually I reached the ground floor and hoped as I left that the power would be back before I was, because what goes down must go up in this case. 

This time I was lucky, the lights came back on at around 11 a.m., way before I did.

[Recusant]

Sounds like an intense several hours, one way and another! 

[hermes2015]

Wow, what a time you had.

The bad news is that now you'll be forced to call in some hunky repair guy to fix your bedroom door.

[Bad Penny II]

Wow, what a time you had.

The bad news is that now you'll be forced to call in some hunky repair guy to fix your bedroom door.

He seems to have a peculiar hammer technique.
Perhaps it doesn't matter.
Perhaps.

[Magdalena]

Wow, what a time you had.

The bad news is that now you'll be forced to call in some hunky repair guy to fix your bedroom door.

He seems to have a peculiar hammer technique.
Perhaps it doesn't matter.
Perhaps.

AND...

and...

Carpentry 101:
Never do carpentry without a shirt on.

Also...

Pulling a nail out of the wood is not gonna make him sweat enough to take his shirt off, is it?

And why does he need a square layout tool to pull a nail?

And where is his hard hat?

[hermes2015]

Wow, what a time you had.

The bad news is that now you'll be forced to call in some hunky repair guy to fix your bedroom door.

He seems to have a peculiar hammer technique.
Perhaps it doesn't matter.
Perhaps.

AND...

and...

Carpentry 101:
Never do carpentry without a shirt on.

Also...

Pulling a nail out of the wood is not gonna make him sweat enough to take his shirt off, is it?

And why does he need a square layout tool to pull a nail?

And where is his hard hat?

It's all irrelevant nit-picking! The important thing is that he's there with his tools.

[Magdalena]

Wow, what a time you had.

The bad news is that now you'll be forced to call in some hunky repair guy to fix your bedroom door.

He seems to have a peculiar hammer technique.
Perhaps it doesn't matter.
Perhaps.

AND...

and...

Carpentry 101:
Never do carpentry without a shirt on.

Also...

Pulling a nail out of the wood is not gonna make him sweat enough to take his shirt off, is it?

And why does he need a square layout tool to pull a nail?

And where is his hard hat?

It's all irrelevant nit-picking! The important thing is that he's there with his tools.

No, it's safety.
He also needs a real belt. His pants are falling. And I bet he's wearing tennis shoes and not steel toe work boots. 

~I'm just saying.

[billy rubin]

i suspect tbe only safety gear that guy needs is a condom.

[hermes2015]

i suspect tbe only safety gear that guy needs is a condom.

[Magdalena]

i suspect tbe only safety gear that guy needs is a condom.

No. 

He also will need NoCry Safety Glasses with Clear Anti Fog Scratch Resistant Wrap-Around Lenses and No-Slip Grips with UV Protection.

[Recusant]

 

[xSilverPhinx]

Wow, what a time you had.

The bad news is that now you'll be forced to call in some hunky repair guy to fix your bedroom door.

Heh.