Why does my wiener get big?

[Steeler]

That question from my 8 year old. Somebody suggest a creative answer for me please.

[Magdalena]

I think that when it comes to those kinds of questions, the best way to handle it is by asking, "Why do you think your wiener gets big?" Depending on the answer, go from there. This helps you get an idea of how much they know about the subject, what they've been told, what they've heard, etc. I think some kids joke about it at school, they're not sure if it's true, so they ask us because they want to verify it. 

[Steeler]

I think this was just a case of morning wood due to having to pee. He was trying to figure out why sometimes is small and sometimes big. It was pretty funny cuz he was so serious with the question. I just tried to blow it off real quick telling him sometimes that happens when ya gotta pee. Lmao

[Magdalena]

Yes, I forgot to take into consideration their age. 
My five year old son has even "showed" me, I guess...just in case I don't believe him.

[Firebird]

Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber

(plagiarized from "Coupling")

[Dave]

Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber

(plagiarized from "Coupling")

Really enjoyed Coupling, best smutty humour ever!

[Steeler]

Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber

(plagiarized from "Coupling")

That might be the ticket right there. Much better responses here than what I'm getting from the guys at work. Like "tell him it means it's time to bang bitches and get money!".
Ok, ya that'll work.

[Magdalena]

Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber

(plagiarized from "Coupling")

That might be the ticket right there. Much better responses here than what I'm getting from the guys at work. Like "tell him it means it's time to bang bitches and get money!".
Ok, ya that'll work.

Oh boy!

[Pasta Chick]

I'm generally of the mind that if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest answer. Obviously you don't need to pull out some hardcore porn for him, but I'd be straight forward. Giving overly creative answers that skirt the facts just leaves them misinformed and wondering what is actually going on, and if their peers are talking to them about it they're liable to end up grossly misinformed.

I'd had "the talk" by 9. I had to put together that babies come from a woman's belly, and that people planned this, so obviously it was not a spontaneous thing where you just start growing a baby one day. I remember because I was extremely perplexed and then didn't understand why everyone kinda freaked out and wouldn't just answer. I just wanted details.

[Firebird]

I'm generally of the mind that if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest answer. Obviously you don't need to pull out some hardcore porn for him, but I'd be straight forward. Giving overly creative answers that skirt the facts just leaves them misinformed and wondering what is actually going on, and if their peers are talking to them about it they're liable to end up grossly misinformed.

I'd had "the talk" by 9. I had to put together that babies come from a woman's belly, and that people planned this, so obviously it was not a spontaneous thing where you just start growing a baby one day. I remember because I was extremely perplexed and then didn't understand why everyone kinda freaked out and wouldn't just answer. I just wanted details.

I actually agree with this, even though it means my answer loses. He'll learn eventually anyway, right?

[Steeler]

I'm generally of the mind that if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest answer. Obviously you don't need to pull out some hardcore porn for him, but I'd be straight forward. Giving overly creative answers that skirt the facts just leaves them misinformed and wondering what is actually going on, and if their peers are talking to them about it they're liable to end up grossly misinformed.

I'd had "the talk" by 9. I had to put together that babies come from a woman's belly, and that people planned this, so obviously it was not a spontaneous thing where you just start growing a baby one day. I remember because I was extremely perplexed and then didn't understand why everyone kinda freaked out and wouldn't just answer. I just wanted details.

I actually agree with this, even though it means my answer loses. He'll learn eventually anyway, right?

I think I'm sticking with a blood flow answer. For now. I mean, I can't have "the talk" just yet with a kid still wearing transformer underwear. Lol

[Magdalena]

^^^

The Lego Star Wars are pretty cool and popular. 

[Steeler]

He has those too!

[Asmodean]

As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.

A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there 

[Tank]

As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.

A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there 

The only drawback to this is that kids talk in school. If you tell your kid be damn sure you have the fall back plan for when the other kids parents shun you at the next school visit for 'despoiling my little Jane/John!'