A Polite Discourse With God

[xSilverPhinx]

"God? God, are you there?"

*one of my enemies answers, suffering from unbridled feelings of delusional grandiosity*

" "

Whatever.

[Bad Penny II]

Hello
Do you have an appointment
No, I've never needed one before, we have an understanding.
Who are you anyway.
I am Bill the vestibule cherub
Oh OK, hello Bill, how has he/all possible gender permutations/she manifested today?
The all was Ganesha last we looked
Cool, he's one of my favourites
Yes, you seem rather uncouth, but I like you so I'll tell you, refer to him as your trunkiness, if you want to get on.
Thanks Bill, open the door please.
Salutations your Trunkiness

Did Bill tell to say that?
Well I can't see any profit in denying it, and you must know it so I admit it, yes he did.
Hmmmm
Give me a scratch of the bits my trunk doesn't reach.
Scccrrrtch scccrrrtch scccrttth scnnt scrrr
Are you using your phone?
I was consulting the oracle
What did Wikipedia have to say?
Smartism, was a thing
It didn't work out
Scccrrrtch scccrrrtch
Scrrerrrerrerch Scrrerrrerrerch Scrrerrrerrerch
Screr er  er  er,  er  er er er er
Fuck it, your scratching has gone all fucking Vulgar Boatmen!
Sorry, it's the Sirens movie
The one with Elle Macpherson's tits?
Ye, i should have been a major part of it
It astounds me that you weren't.
Ye, the movie lacked, there was no rainstorm,
No creepy me welcoming them and launching into the temporal twist
That was, is, forever will be a catchy tune
Ye, fuck, I don't know what they were thinking.
They cut the scene where I shoot my creator with a laser pistol
Well that kind of thing isn't to be encouraged
Bad Penny is indisposed but he wants everyone to think of fluffy kittens
fluffy kittens, fluffy kittens, kittens that are oh so fluffy

[xSilverPhinx]

God?

Yes?

I have midterm in an hour and have not studied nearly as much as I should have. Please help me get a passing grade!

We'll see. If you do well, you can thank me. If not, then blame the devil.

[Bad Penny II]

G'day god
Howya goin?
OK, just watching that Jupiter Ascending movie.
Any good?
I didn't like the characters much, the creepy oldest son was good but you didn't see enough of him.
It's sci fi, lots of defying the laws of physics, it stretched my ability to suspend disbelief a bit.
They can be funny though
Ye but this -



Who gets this close up and personal when cleaning a toilet?
No not to clean, maybe if I'd had too much the night before
Exactly, it's a joy to talk to you, we are so simpatico.
Sorry, I should have started talking to you years ago instead of wasting my time with those atheist husks, soggy or dry.
No worries mate, we're mates now.
Want to talk about the Prophetetcy amongst Walrus like creatures?
Ye mate.

[xSilverPhinx]

Oh god, why do you allow such bad movies to be made?

That wasn't me, that was...er...the devil! Yes, the devil allowed it to happen.