new to the forum

[susangail]

Hey everyone, I'm Susan. I've been raised in a conservative Christian family and I was completely devoted to the God and the church pretty much since I was born (yes I was an obnoxious Bible pushing evangelist). About eight months ago, I began to question whether I even believe all this Christian stuff. Slowly I started to realize that I've pretty much been indoctrinated, or brainwashed if you want to call it that, all my life. For the passed few months, I have been trying to undo the brainwashing and find out what I truly believe (or don't believe). I realize that I don't have any belief in the Christian God or any other gods/goddesses. I'm not an atheist out of lack of proof, I am because of reason. Nothing adds up. The Christian church says that's where faith comes in, but I don't buy it anymore.

I'm still figuring out a lot of other things (such as the question of how we got here, what happens after death, etc.) but for now, I'm satisfied with simply saying I don't know.

Susan

[ShimShamSam]

it's interesting, I've known a lot of people to change faiths about your age. I have two friends who were Jehovah's witnesses and they left it. As for how you got here and where you go after you die, that's entirely up to you.

But what happens to your goldfish after it dies (apart from being flushed), it kinda jsut sits there and doesn't do anything. As for where you came from, I'm reminded of a quote by the comedian Jack Handey:

"I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, 'Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you.' So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex."

By the way, being an atheist out of reason is the best kind, at least you're not an angry atheist like me

[susangail]

Thank you ShimShamSam. Wow, it's entirely up to me... that's mind blowing. I can actually decide for myself. Whew.

And when you say angry atheist, what do you mean? Or did you already do some sort of introduction explaining that?

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum and thanks for the introduction. We've had a rush of younger people joining lately. It's good to see people questioning their beliefs and really searching for answers, rather than hiding behind a comforting myth.

[Whitney]

Hi Susan, welcome to the forum.

[ShimShamSam]

Actually Susan, I don't think I did ever get around to explain why I'm an angry Atheist. I think it boils down to lost time. I believe it was back during elementary school, my best friend for 15 years since kindergarten, a lot of time I would sleep over at his house on a Saturday night, but I had Sunday school in the morning, so I had to be ready for Sunday school when my family would pick me up on the way by. Otherwise I woulda hung out all day, and Sundays are best for two mischievous boys to go adventuring. Well that's fine, but my best friend not long ago died in a car accident, and now looking back on my childhood I feel cheated out of many weekend adventures, not that we didn't have fun in high school, but being 9 is so much better. Actually, this Tuesday is the one year anniversary of his death. So I guess that's the best explanation why I got a vendetta against organized religion. And don't worry everyone, I don't need another "Oh I'm sorry to hear about your lose" I get hat enough.

[rational liberal]

Hey Susan, from one new member to another hope you have fun here. Anyway, I've been feeling the exact same way that you said you were feeling a few months ago. I've also been raised in a christian home and never had questioned my beliefs untill recently. I just couldn't look at myself in the mirror without knowing for a fact what I really believed. Through this journey I found out that my beliefs were closer to that of a deist than a christian, so I became a follower of deism. And that worked out, for a while anyway. Now, however, I question even this belief and all beliefs about god in general. I seem to be getting closer and closer to the belief of atheism and am despeartely trying to figure things out. But I'm rambling so I'll end this post now. Just wanted you to know I understand the rough times you went through trying to sort all your beliefs out. Believe me its no picnic and I hope that I come out of it as sucsessfully as you did.

[susangail]

Thank you rational liberal, I appreciate the support. I know what you mean about not being able to look myself in the mirror. It's funny, it was only a few days ago that I officially accepted the label Atheist, though I've had many doubts in the passed months. I just felt funny saying I didn't believe in God at all. I thought that feeling was the Holy Spirit telling me He's real. In reality, it was years of 'Christianese' ingrained in my head doing its job. Now for the first time, I can truly look myself in the mirror and feel.... complete. I couldn't do that even when I believed in God. Ha now I'm the one rambling....

[susangail]

Oh and ShimShamSam, being an angry Atheist doesn't make you a 'bad' one. Disbelief is disbelief no matter how it came about. I'm pretty pissed at religion for wasting my time as well (though not in the same way as you), but I sort of see it as a relatively useful experience because I have the knowledge now (if that makes sense). Ugh I'm preaching, sorry. (how I still manage to do that is beyond me)

[MommaSquid]

Welcome to the forum susangail.

 'I don't know' is a perfectly valid answer to any question you are still pondering.  For me, questions come as naturally as breathing.  I am an atheist, but I know I don't have all the answers...and that's okay!