hi everyone.
i'm very new to this, both atheism and forums so please wish me all the best.
please allow to bang on for a mo', i dont really have anyone to talk to about this.
i was brought up a christian and have been quite heavily involved most of my life, 4 hr long prayer meetings and week long christian conferences included.
despite reading it religiously (haha) every night, i had always taken the 'the word of god' with a pinch of salt, especially the old testament. i was happy to take it as non-literal, peotry, illustrations of ideas, etc, etc. i think so long as i believed that god existed and that he was the voice in my head (rather than my own conscience), i was fine. i do hope you know what i mean.
slowly but surely, thoughts and ideas have been settling in my head and i eventually came to the conclusion that not only was the invention of religion and the writing of the bible and very human thing to do (seems that every culture has their own), but that most importantly, when my friends/family and i spend hours praying, there is no one listening.
every month we would go to night church to pray for 4 hours & everyone (including me) would get visions and words, & it was always the same junk. when i was going through some stuff, i kept waiting for god to send word through one of them, but it never happened. there was one time ages ago i was asked to translate some foreign words for a friend (through prayer rather than google lol), and i was entirely convinced i had recieved the translation. but when i told my mum, i knew it was nonsense. my gut kept telling me it was a load of rubbish and for years i've ignored it.
my mum is into prayer in a big way. i simply dont know how i'm going to tell her how much my thoughts have changed. its been 6 months since i finally put all the pieces together. i keep having to hide my library books from her, even my son's school enrolment form which included the usual race and religion question.
anyway, i'm very happy as an atheist. the constant guilt has gone (i dont have to spend every night reading my bible and praying) and i am now accountable for my own actions, rather than waiting to be told off (or some other horrid punishment) by some bloke who lives in the sky. i've read the obvious dawkins and others, and have more interesting looking books in my library book bag.
it's difficult going from the extremely religious to nothingness, if you know what i mean.
some day i'll gather up my guts and tell my mum, but i can pretty much guarrantee she'll arrange an emergency prayer meeting and call it a spiritual attack.
looking forward to having people i can talk to about the every day stuff that is affected by the fact that we dont presume there's a man in the sky looking after us, and dare i say it....there isnt a heaven for the dead bunny to go to? (our bunny recently died & i had to explain to the kids why/where he'd gone, VERY tempting to say bunny heaven).
anyhoo, thanks for reading if you got this far.
kitty x
You've made the right move now, kitty. Just stay calm and don't let them rattle you. You have kids but don't mention a partner - will you be getting any support from him?
We're always here to cheer you on.
hi.
yes, i have a partner. he's very supportive, always has been, but he's a bit of an agnostic and tends to believe in some of that spiritual crap that i cant cope with.
he and my sister are the only people i can be honest with about all this. my sister walked away from her faith years ago, so my mum will freak when she finds she's too heathen daughters lol.
but i'm fine, no stress really. enjoying reading other people's opinions and stories.
kitty x
Hello and welcome to HAF,
kitty. Thank you for that comprehensive introduction. (I'm serious! :)) If you have any questions about dealing with the forum software, you can look in the Help Desk section (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?board=39.0), or just ask the question.
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Some threads you might find interesting.
Where did you get your username from? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=5133.0)
10 Things About Yourself (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=4940.0)
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Photography (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7607.0)
Non-religious pet peeves (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=6917.0)
Pets...what do you have? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7.0)
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Hello Kitty
Being a never-theist in the UK is way different to being an ex-theist in the USA. But I have seen many, many people arrive where you are now and there are quite a few here so your among friends.
Welcome to HAF ;D
Regards
Chris
When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.
Quote from: jumbojak on May 10, 2012, 09:25:38 PM
When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.
Wise words indeed.
Quote from: jumbojak on May 10, 2012, 09:25:38 PM
When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.
Welcome! You could always just do what I did and come right out and say it then when she reacts respond by quoting bible verses and insulting them. Or maybe just do what jumbo mentioned yeah that would probably be better ;D
Quote from: Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism on May 10, 2012, 09:43:36 PM
Quote from: jumbojak on May 10, 2012, 09:25:38 PM
When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.
Welcome! You could always just do what I did and come right out and say it then when she reacts respond by quoting bible verses and insulting them. Or maybe just do what jumbo mentioned yeah that would probably be better ;D
I never would have thought that 'subtle' was a word missing from your vocabulary! ;) :D
Doesn't it feel good to make purpose than to pray for it?! It's been 5 years and I'm still like a kid in a candy store with science, and how great life really is without the fairy tales. I feel bad for my family and friends still trapped in that ridiculous lie, and I'd love to break them out but it's just not possible. They have to have that journey themselves like I did. But if they ever do I know they'll come to me first.
I love hearing stories of others breaking free, it never gets old. Welcome to HAF.
Welcome! A lot of people here have been in your situation, and have posted some great stories of how they dealt with it on the forum. Definitely go search for them, hopefully it will help a bit.
Hi and welcome!
Wow, going from translating foreign words via prayer to atheism, that's a big step! I don't really have a lot of advice for breaking it to your mom, just to say that you are your own person and you have to live your own life. If she's upset or disappointed, that's sad and all, but it's not up to her. Just like she has the freedom to live her life and choose what she believes and what she teaches/taught her children, so do you. It's not personal, it's just about you living your own life and following your own heart and mind. I find when I phrase it that way (to myself) I feel less emtionally involved when my parents get all disapproving about my beliefs. I'm adult, there is nothing they can do but choose to accept it or not, it's not my problem. That's my mantra. :) Anyway, welcome.
Quote from: Tank on May 10, 2012, 10:15:20 PM
Quote from: Anti-antidisestablishmentarianism on May 10, 2012, 09:43:36 PM
Quote from: jumbojak on May 10, 2012, 09:25:38 PM
When you do decide to tell her, make sure you break the news gently, preferably by dropping hints before you come out and say it. I've found that the deeply religious react much better to the news that a loved one no longer believes as they do when they get their feet wet first.
Welcome! You could always just do what I did and come right out and say it then when she reacts respond by quoting bible verses and insulting them. Or maybe just do what jumbo mentioned yeah that would probably be better ;D
I never would have thought that 'subtle' was a word missing from your vocabulary! ;) :D
If by subtle you mean clearly stating what I mean in the most offensive manner possible without any prior thought to what I am going to say then yeah. Yeah I'm very subtle ;D
Welcome!
Quote from: kitty on May 10, 2012, 02:36:54 PM
i do hope you know what i mean.
I think there's very little chance most of us
won't know what you mean -- we've pretty much all been there and we love to talk about it.
QuoteRe: i've thrown out the bathwater to find there is no baby...
Well don't look at me, I haven't got it.
(Furtively nudges large boiler out of sight.)
Hello -
Soft kitty,
Warm kitty,
Little ball of fur.
Happy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Purr Purr Purr
Quote from: texasatheist on May 10, 2012, 10:37:37 PM
Doesn't it feel good to make purpose than to pray for it?! It's been 5 years and I'm still like a kid in a candy store with science, and how great life really is without the fairy tales. I feel bad for my family and friends still trapped in that ridiculous lie, and I'd love to break them out but it's just not possible. They have to have that journey themselves like I did.
yes, it does feel good to be reliant on myself, and not some random bloke. it's brilliant, the world is even more amazing knowing how it came about through science and not because it magically appeared.
i look at people a little differently, but i'm not going to force my opinion or preach, fairytales are too close to people's hearts so i'm not going to be the person to rip them away. like me, i reckon they need to do it in their own time.
thanks for yr words of support and kindness.
i've been dropping hints to my mum for a little while now, but she's a little blind to it atm. nevermind, i'm sure the right time will come eventually.
x
yay! managed to 'quote' properly (screwed it up yesterday) - i'm soooo new at the whole forum thing.
x
Quote from: kitty on May 11, 2012, 08:38:25 AM
i've been dropping hints to my mum for a little while now, but she's a little blind to it atm. nevermind, i'm sure the right time will come eventually.
x
Get your sister to tell your mum. Then she'll have a chance to think about her reaction.
Quote from: Tank on May 11, 2012, 12:40:40 PM
Get your sister to tell your mum. Then she'll have a chance to think about her reaction.
haha. no, i'm quite grown up (when it suits me), i can fight this battle without putting my poor sis under unneccessary stress.
x
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on May 11, 2012, 05:53:46 AM
QuoteRe: i've thrown out the bathwater to find there is no baby...
Well don't look at me, I haven't got it.
(Furtively nudges large boiler out of sight.)
Hello -
Soft kitty,
Warm kitty,
Little ball of fur.
Happy kitty,
Sleepy kitty,
Purr Purr Purr
*sings along haha
So, how many cat-involved people do we have on this forum now? :D
Welcome to the forum, fellow reptile enthusiast.
Quote from: Budhorse4 on May 11, 2012, 04:22:37 PM
So, how many cat-involved people do we have on this forum now? :D
Welcome to the forum, fellow reptile enthusiast.
thank you fellow animal lover.
thank you for proving to me that the old (christian) adage is wrong and that all atheists are not evil lol
x
Quote from: kitty on May 11, 2012, 04:25:14 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on May 11, 2012, 04:22:37 PM
So, how many cat-involved people do we have on this forum now? :D
Welcome to the forum, fellow reptile enthusiast.
thank you fellow animal lover.
thank you for proving to me that the old (christian) adage is wrong and that all atheists are not evil lol
x
And how old do you think Buddy is ;D
Quote from: Tank on May 11, 2012, 05:07:02 PM
Quote from: kitty on May 11, 2012, 04:25:14 PM
Quote from: Budhorse4 on May 11, 2012, 04:22:37 PM
So, how many cat-involved people do we have on this forum now? :D
Welcome to the forum, fellow reptile enthusiast.
thank you fellow animal lover.
thank you for proving to me that the old (christian) adage is wrong and that all atheists are not evil lol
x
And how old do you think Buddy is ;D
Shhhh!
Welcome to the forum. As a question though why are you hiding your atheism related books? You have said that you have been dropping hints to your mother for some time with out result. It may well be that letting her find your books may well be the conversation starter that you are looking for.
Quote from: markmcdaniel on May 30, 2012, 05:54:47 AM
Welcome to the forum. As a question though why are you hiding your atheism related books? You have said that you have been dropping hints to your mother for some time with out result. It may well be that letting her find your books may well be the conversation starter that you are looking for.
not hiding them so much anymore. when i was reading the god delusion it was all big and red, but on the days i forgot to stash it, she never noticed it anyway.
after our convo the other day, i dont fear being confronted so much anymore. i dont want to hurt her feelings but i'm not afraid to stand up for what i believe in. guess i just needed more time for it to settle in my head, if you knwo what i mean.
Quote from: kitty on May 30, 2012, 08:25:12 AM
Quote from: markmcdaniel on May 30, 2012, 05:54:47 AM
Welcome to the forum. As a question though why are you hiding your atheism related books? You have said that you have been dropping hints to your mother for some time with out result. It may well be that letting her find your books may well be the conversation starter that you are looking for.
not hiding them so much anymore. when i was reading the god delusion it was all big and red, but on the days i forgot to stash it, she never noticed it anyway.
after our convo the other day, i dont fear being confronted so much anymore. i dont want to hurt her feelings but i'm not afraid to stand up for what i believe in. guess i just needed more time for it to settle in my head, if you knwo what i mean.
I know exactly what you mean.
Quote from: kitty on May 10, 2012, 02:36:54 PMlooking forward to having people i can talk to about the every day stuff that is affected by the fact that we dont presume there's a man in the sky looking after us, and dare i say it....there isnt a heaven for the dead bunny to go to? (our bunny recently died & i had to explain to the kids why/where he'd gone, VERY tempting to say bunny heaven).
Are you suggesting there is NO bunny heaven?! :o
Quote from: MadBomr101 on May 31, 2012, 06:25:13 AM
Quote from: kitty on May 10, 2012, 02:36:54 PMlooking forward to having people i can talk to about the every day stuff that is affected by the fact that we dont presume there's a man in the sky looking after us, and dare i say it....there isnt a heaven for the dead bunny to go to? (our bunny recently died & i had to explain to the kids why/where he'd gone, VERY tempting to say bunny heaven).
Are you suggesting there is NO bunny heaven?! :o
i'm so sorry for your loss :( (i presume you have bunnies in 'bunny heaven'). but isnt it nice to know they are making some crackin fertiliser. comforting.