So, Gandhi is sitting down, having a silent protest about something-or-other and Jesus strolls past with his mates on their way back from the footie. Jesus, a bit pissed-up, bumbles into poor Gandhi, bowls him over and knocks off his glasses which smash as he rolls.
'Watch what you're doing you fucking hippy" says Gandhi, as he gets off the floor, all dusty and miffed.
"Who're you calling a hippy, you spekky twat" retorts Jesus, feeling all big cos he's got his mates with him.
Gandhi squares up. Jesus squares up.
There're gonna be bitch-slaps, sure enough, but who's gonna win?
Depends, I think. Is this during one of Gandhi's hunger strikes?
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on November 06, 2011, 04:11:49 PM
Depends, I think. Is this during one of Gandhi's hunger strikes?
Let's say he's just had a chicken jalfrezi, peshwari naan and a couple pints of Kingfisher.
I think it depends on what a spekky twat is. Also uncertain about a footie and all pissed up.
Gandhi's glasses are smashed..?
That's a point against him. Of course, Jesus, following his own teachings, would hafta' turn the other cheek...
Quote from: fester30 on November 06, 2011, 04:28:10 PM
I think it depends on what a spekky twat is. Also uncertain about a footie and all pissed up.
Spekky = spectacle wearing (derogatory)
Twat = vagina/idiot (derogatory)
Footie = soccer
Pissed-up = drunk
Quote from: Asmodean on November 06, 2011, 04:39:41 PM
Gandhi's glasses are smashed..?
That's a point against him. Of course, Jesus, following his own teachings, would hafta' turn the other cheek...
Yeah, but he's pissed-up and therefore a little punchy...
Quote from: Scissorlegs on November 06, 2011, 04:18:02 PM
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on November 06, 2011, 04:11:49 PM
Depends, I think. Is this during one of Gandhi's hunger strikes?
Let's say he's just had a chicken jalfrezi, peshwari naan and a couple pints of Kingfisher.
In that case, I think Gandhi could take him.
Hmmm, how so? Don't you think Jesus has the edge on strength - carrying lumps of wood and stuff...?
Quote from: Scissorlegs on November 06, 2011, 05:15:53 PM
Hmmm, how so? Don't you think Jesus has the edge on strength - carrying lumps of wood and stuff...?
Well, as you recall, he couldn't carry the cross without falling down multiple times.
My rationale for Gandhi's win is as follows:
1) He trained as a lawyer, which proves his psychological ruthlessness
2) He was thrown off a train and beaten numerous times throughout his life, so he can obviously take a physical beating and keep on trucking
3) He participated in the Zulu war and spear-headed a recruitment campaign for the first World War, showing there are causes that he is willing to condone physical violence for
Finally, I leave you with this quote: "
It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence." - Gandhi
He could seriously kick some ass if he wanted to.
EDIT
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_6CkJluxHvMA%2FSKKPrvxfzSI%2FAAAAAAAAALs%2FHHOBQE3NVDI%2Fs400%2FGandhi_first_blood_1.jpg&hash=2b8a8fb5ebfda15e802bf8df6eb0bfc7fee2180e)
I have a horrible feeling that there's going to be an answer to this one, in the form of a punch-line with a dreadful pun.
Gandhi! Unless Jesus is a hypocrite and doesn't turn the other cheek...
I'd also like to add that Jesus is always getting his father involved. Do you ever hear of Gandhi getting his dad to fight his battles for him? No, you do not.
Well. you can't kill Jesus, he keeps getting up again.
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on November 06, 2011, 05:51:25 PM
I'd also like to add that Jesus is always getting his father involved. Do you ever hear of Gandhi getting his dad to fight his battles for him? No, you do not.
Classic "my dad is stronger than your dad" tactic.
I'm ruling it a tie after each loses an eye. ;D
Quote from: Asmodean on November 06, 2011, 06:46:44 PM
I'm ruling it a tie after each loses an eye. ;D
I see what you did there... nice!
O.K then, who's more likely to walk away from a fight between Paul Atredes or Luke Skywalker?
Quote from: Scissorlegs on November 07, 2011, 08:28:24 PM
O.K then, who's more likely to walk away from a fight between Paul Atredes or Luke Skywalker?
Paul as he was effectively the 'Force', as opposed to Luke who only had the power to manipulate it.
Does Atreides get a pet Worm(tm) to help?
Quote from: Asmodean on November 07, 2011, 08:49:45 PM
Does Atreides get a pet Worm(tm) to help?
I don't think he'd need one in his final incarnation.
Quote from: Tank on November 07, 2011, 09:07:15 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on November 07, 2011, 08:49:45 PM
Does Atreides get a pet Worm(tm) to help?
I don't think he'd need one in his final incarnation.
Oh,
anyone could use some extra awesome every now and then. ;D
Quote from: Asmodean on November 07, 2011, 09:09:11 PM
Quote from: Tank on November 07, 2011, 09:07:15 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on November 07, 2011, 08:49:45 PM
Does Atreides get a pet Worm(tm) to help?
I don't think he'd need one in his final incarnation.
Oh, anyone could use some extra awesome every now and then. ;D
Well if it's added awsome that's required then riding in on a Worm
(TM) is a 'must have' without a doubt.
Quote from: Tank on November 07, 2011, 09:14:06 PM
Well if it's added awsome that's required then riding in on a Worm(TM) is a 'must have' without a doubt.
Yup. Skywalkers were never that awesome... One turned "evil" and became a lapdog, the other had too little of the cold and calculating in him for any kind of awesomeness and the rest of them, from the books and whatnot... Bah! Very
un-awesome, really.
Now, them Arrakis fellas and their BIG wormses... THAT, Asmodean approves of. ;D
Jedi mind control, 0 - The Voice,1
Jedi council, 1 - Fremen army, 0
Darth Vader, 1 - Duke Leto 0
Princess Leia, 1 - Chani, -1
Light sabre 0 - voice amplifier, 1
Han Solo, 0 - Stilgar, 1
Millennium Falcon, 0 - Guild ships, 1
Obi WAN, 0 - Gurney, 1
Peter Cushing, 1 - Sting, 0
R2D2, 1 - Thurfir Hawat, 0
Jabba, 0 - Baron Harkonnen, 1
It's a draw!
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on November 06, 2011, 04:11:49 PM
Depends, I think. Is this during one of Gandhi's hunger strikes?
*laffin*
Quote from: Scissorlegs on November 06, 2011, 05:15:53 PM
Hmmm, how so? Don't you think Jesus has the edge on strength - carrying lumps of wood and stuff...?
*laffin more*
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on November 06, 2011, 05:33:17 PM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on November 06, 2011, 05:15:53 PM
Hmmm, how so? Don't you think Jesus has the edge on strength - carrying lumps of wood and stuff...?
Well, as you recall, he couldn't carry the cross without falling down multiple times.
My rationale for Gandhi's win is as follows:
1) He trained as a lawyer, which proves his psychological ruthlessness
2) He was thrown off a train and beaten numerous times throughout his life, so he can obviously take a physical beating and keep on trucking
3) He participated in the Zulu war and spear-headed a recruitment campaign for the first World War, showing there are causes that he is willing to condone physical violence for
Finally, I leave you with this quote: "It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence." - Gandhi
He could seriously kick some ass if he wanted to.
EDIT
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_6CkJluxHvMA%2FSKKPrvxfzSI%2FAAAAAAAAALs%2FHHOBQE3NVDI%2Fs400%2FGandhi_first_blood_1.jpg&hash=2b8a8fb5ebfda15e802bf8df6eb0bfc7fee2180e)
*laffin harder*
But...
Quote"It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence."
I can understand a guy getting all upset and wanting to hit something when he can't get a hardon....but what does that have to do with a drunken Jr.?
See what I mean? No impotence problem here...
Quote from: OldGit on November 06, 2011, 05:52:49 PM
Well. you can't kill Jesus, he keeps getting up again.
clearly Gandhi's the winner, and here's the proof. Jesus was never this tough;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfvLcozLwtE&feature=related
Quote from: Too Few Lions on November 08, 2011, 11:35:42 AM
clearly Gandhi's the winner, and here's the proof. Jesus was never this tough;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfvLcozLwtE&feature=related
I would so watch that movie.