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Getting To Know You => Laid Back Lounge => Topic started by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:36:52 PM

Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:36:52 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 08:23:22 PM
"Render therefore unto Asmo the things which are Asmo's"
Stolen. Added to The Book(tm).
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 09:45:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:36:52 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 08:23:22 PM
"Render therefore unto Asmo the things which are Asmo's"
Stolen. Added to The Book(tm).

You can have all my clay.  You pay for shipping.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:48:49 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 09:45:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:36:52 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 08:23:22 PM
"Render therefore unto Asmo the things which are Asmo's"
Stolen. Added to The Book(tm).

You can have all my clay.  You pay for shipping.
Ah, but you see, most roads and airport runways cross a patch of clay here and there, making them The Asmo's. So shipping, it be free, yes?  :D
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 09:51:39 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:48:49 PM
Ah, but you see, most roads and airport runways cross a patch of clay here and there, making them The Asmo's. So shipping, it be free, yes?  :D

Are you asking or declaring?
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:53:54 PM
Asmos don't ask. They proclaim.  >:(
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:00:33 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:53:54 PM
Asmos don't ask. They proclaim.  >:(

Infallible the Asmo(s) is not.

Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 09:48:49 PM
Ah, but you see, most roads and airport runways cross a patch of clay here and there, making them The Asmo's. So shipping, it be free, yes?  :D

This proclamation seems to end in a mark of question and/or uncertainty.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:07:05 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:00:33 PM
Infallible the Asmo(s) is not.
...But even their flaws are perfect. Says so in The Book(tm)

Quote
This proclamation seems to end in a mark of question and/or uncertainty.
Combined sentence. Everything before the last comma is a statement. Everything after is a confirmation call. For instance, "The sky is blue, yes?" in this context means that according to me, the sky is blue, but I invite opposing views.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 12, 2012, 10:11:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:07:05 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:00:33 PM
Infallible the Asmo(s) is not.
...But even their flaws are perfect. Says so in The Book(tm)

Quote
This proclamation seems to end in a mark of question and/or uncertainty.
Combined sentence. Everything before the last comma is a statement. Everything after is a confirmation call. For instance, "The sky is blue, yes?" in this context means that according to me, the sky is blue, but I invite opposing views.

I always thought that Asmo was a sort of "my way or the highway" type god.  No?
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:12:49 PM
Not at all. The Asmo just has a knack of turning highways into his ways, but in order to do so, he must be presented with a highway to dismantle and re-make in His gray image.  :D

...There IS a difference. The Asmo proclaims it so.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:13:22 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:07:05 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:00:33 PM
Infallible the Asmo(s) is not.
...But even their flaws are perfect. Says so in The Book(tm)

Quote
This proclamation seems to end in a mark of question and/or uncertainty.
Combined sentence. Everything before the last comma is a statement. Everything after is a confirmation call. For instance, "The sky is blue, yes?" in this context means that according to me, the sky is blue, but I invite opposing views.

So then shipping is only free on those roads or runways that cross paths over clay...therefore shipping is not always free.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:19:25 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:13:22 PM
So then shipping is only free on those roads or runways that cross paths over clay...therefore shipping is not always free.
Ah, but there is fine print, you see:

If something lays against the clay
Or against that, which down the line
Gain contact with His Grayness may
It's Asmo's 'til the end of time

So you see, if it touches clay or something which touches clay or something which touches something which touches clay and so on and so on, The Asmo layeth rightful claim to it. According to The Book(tm).
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 12, 2012, 10:20:32 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:19:25 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:13:22 PM
So then shipping is only free on those roads or runways that cross paths over clay...therefore shipping is not always free.
Ah, but there is fine print, you see:

If something lays against the clay
Or against that, which down the line
Gain contact with His Grayness may
It's Asmo's 'til the end of time

So you see, if it touches clay or something which touches clay or something which touches something which touches clay and so on and so on, The Asmo layeth rightful claim to it. According to The Book(tm).

*Stares at the ceramic coffee mug in her hand accusingly*
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:24:02 PM
That which is within the ceramic mug. The Asmo demands it be sacrificed by devouring in His honor.  >:(
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:24:11 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:19:25 PM
So you see, if it touches clay or something which touches clay or something which touches something which touches clay and so on and so on, The Asmo layeth rightful claim to it. According to The Book(tm).

Technically, there is space between everything that "touches" and therefore nothing actually touches anything as space is just space.  A void.

Therefore shipping cannot be free as the Asmo(s) proclaims it to be...therefore Asmo(s) proclamation is useless and Asmo(s) cannot be god.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 12, 2012, 10:34:08 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:24:02 PM
That which is within the ceramic mug. The Asmo demands it be sacrificed by devouring in His honor.  >:(

Done.  I drank that hot tea in honor of the Great and Terrible Asmo.  I drank it so well, it will stay drunk.  >:(
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:45:38 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:24:11 PM
Technically, there is space between everything that "touches" and therefore nothing actually touches anything as space is just space.  A void.
...Which is where the verse about that comes in to play. The space between molecules is defined as a part of The Gray Realm, and that is already Asmo's:

A Kingdom, born from empty space,
The Realm of Grayness stretches out
It spans the matter and the waves -
All things within, and all without

Quote
Therefore shipping cannot be free as the Asmo(s) proclaims it to be...therefore Asmo(s) proclamation is useless and Asmo(s) cannot be god.
You see, it most certainly can.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:49:33 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:45:38 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:24:11 PM
Technically, there is space between everything that "touches" and therefore nothing actually touches anything as space is just space.  A void.
...Which is where the verse about that comes in to play. The space between molecules is defined as a part of The Gray Realm, and that is already Asmo's:

A Kingdom, born from empty space,
The Realm of Grayness stretches out
It spans the matter and the waves -
All things within, and all without

Quote
Therefore shipping cannot be free as the Asmo(s) proclaims it to be...therefore Asmo(s) proclamation is useless and Asmo(s) cannot be god.
You see, it most certainly can.

It can or it is?   :-*
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 12, 2012, 10:53:35 PM
Oooh, I like the pretty poems about Asmo.  I want to do one!

There once was a god named Asmo
Whose favorite movie was Orgasmo
He was lumpy and grey
And always got his way
And had coffee in his veins instead of plasmo.

;D

(What?  Asmo is hard to rhyme!)
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:57:06 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:49:33 PM
It can or it is?   :-*
To this, The Book(tm) answers as follows:

A can of worms, it is a can
Thus, can can be an is sometimes
If Asmo says that something can,
Then when it is, it's no surprise
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 11:03:02 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:57:06 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:49:33 PM
It can or it is?   :-*
To this, The Book(tm) answers as follows:

A can of worms, it is a can
Thus, can can be an is sometimes
If Asmo says that something can,
Then when it is, it's no surprise

Therefore the asmo(s) "proclamations" depend on further investigation. 
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:06:56 PM
Well, His predictions usually come true. For instance, there was something about Tank splitting The Gray Tome talk off the rest of this thread... But it is an obscure prophecy, not too well known.

That said, the last two lines state pretty clearly that what The Asmo proclaims to be a can is a can, thus, can and is are in this context synonimous.
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 11:15:28 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:06:56 PM
Well, His predictions usually come true. For instance, there was something about Tank splitting The Gray Tome talk off the rest of this thread... But it is an obscure prophecy, not too well known.

That said, the last two lines state pretty clearly that what The Asmo proclaims to be a can is a can, thus, can and is are in this context synonimous.

Is there a text regarding 'ususally come true' asmo(s) proclamations?
Title: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:19:21 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 11:15:28 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:06:56 PM
Well, His predictions usually come true. For instance, there was something about Tank splitting The Gray Tome talk off the rest of this thread... But it is an obscure prophecy, not too well known.

That said, the last two lines state pretty clearly that what The Asmo proclaims to be a can is a can, thus, can and is are in this context synonimous.

Is there a text regarding 'ususally come true' asmo(s) proclamations?
Of course. The Book(tm) is eternal and therefor has answers to infinitely many questions. But that is the story for another time.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Recusant on June 12, 2012, 11:23:34 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:06:56 PM
Well, His predictions usually come true. For instance, there was something about Tank splitting The Gray Tome talk off the rest of this thread... But it is an obscure prophecy, not too well known.

Nearly a correct prediction. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rationalskepticism.org%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ficon_hide.gif&hash=425a1f118340336ab851ae73d52edca2e66d28ec)
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 12, 2012, 11:28:19 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:57:06 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:49:33 PM
It can or it is?   :-*
To this, The Book(tm) answers as follows:

A can of worms, it is a can
Thus, can can be an is sometimes
If Asmo says that something can,
Then when it is, it's no surprise


This is all very Winnie the Pooh.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: xSilverPhinx on June 12, 2012, 11:28:59 PM
Poor Tank, he automatically gets the blame :D

A great god must have a nemesis so that great battle of Clayiness and Non Clayiness can ensue. Who treads on the Grey Lump's wrong side?
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:30:58 PM
Quote from: Recusant on June 12, 2012, 11:23:34 PM
Nearly a correct prediction. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rationalskepticism.org%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Ficon_hide.gif&hash=425a1f118340336ab851ae73d52edca2e66d28ec)
Well, it is an obscure prophecy after all. May have been misinterpreted. Will require some fine-comb reading after its fulfillment to assess where the interpretation failed, of course, but that is the way of prophecies, it is.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 11:32:31 PM
Quote from: Ali on June 12, 2012, 11:28:19 PM
This is all very Winnie the Pooh.
That one STILL hasn't paid The Asmo for the use of His flesh as a jar.  >:(
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: markmcdaniel on June 13, 2012, 06:44:45 AM
Oh great Asmo I bow down and worship before whatever you move around on, and exult in your wisdom.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Siz on June 13, 2012, 09:15:59 AM
Small and grey and almost round
Motionless upon the ground
Cheerful mostly when he feels
His bum against the potters wheel
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: fester30 on June 13, 2012, 12:33:39 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 12, 2012, 10:24:11 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 12, 2012, 10:19:25 PM
So you see, if it touches clay or something which touches clay or something which touches something which touches clay and so on and so on, The Asmo layeth rightful claim to it. According to The Book(tm).

Asmo(s) proclamation is useless and Asmo(s) cannot be god.

Oh no he didn't!!!!

Notice I did some Fox News editing.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 15, 2012, 04:08:52 PM
Yes! The pottery wheel verse! The message is, apparently, spreading.  :D
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 15, 2012, 04:24:06 PM
Rolling ranks of storm cloud grey
Fueled by coffee
Running rampant through Oslo

It's a haiku!  ;D
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 15, 2012, 04:25:38 PM
Not bad... But The Tome is written in a different style.  :D
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 15, 2012, 04:29:17 PM
I'll keep working on it.  So far I've done an Asmo limerick, and an Asmo haiku.  Maybe next I'll try my hand at an Asmo villanelle.  ;)
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 15, 2012, 04:53:24 PM
I suppose we could branch out a bit, like all the other religions...  ???
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 15, 2012, 04:53:55 PM
My Asmo Villanelle:

Asmo is coming with barbarian bands
To strike from the world licorice and melon
The world is clay in his hands

Shouting for coffee and spouting off demands
Tromping muddy feet, whoopin' and yellin'
Asmo is coming with barbarian bands

The grey horde marches to his commands
From London to Tokyo to the Straits of Magellan
The world is clay in his hands

Cities fall and as his empire expands
Overrun with his thugs and felons
Asmo is coming with barbarian bands

His name is dread across the lands
So you'd better be buying what Asmo is sellin'
The world is clay in his hands

With a savage charm no one withstands
They fall before him, quakin' and quellin'
Asmo is coming with barbarian bands
The world is clay in his hands
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: En_Route on June 15, 2012, 05:09:07 PM
Quote from: Ali on June 15, 2012, 04:53:55 PM
My Asmo Villanelle:

Asmo is coming with barbarian bands
To strike from the world licorice and melon
The world is clay in his hands

Shouting for coffee and spouting off demands
Tromping muddy feet, whoopin' and yellin'
Asmo is coming with barbarian bands

The grey horde marches to his commands
From London to Tokyo to the Straits of Magellan
The world is clay in his hands

Cities fall and as his empire expands
Overrun with his thugs and felons
Asmo is coming with barbarian bands

His name is dread across the lands
So you'd better be buying what Asmo is sellin'
The world is clay in his hands

With a savage charm no one withstands
They fall before him, quakin' and quellin'
Asmo is coming with barbarian bands
The world is clay in his hands


Your verse
Ain't laconic
But Your talent
Is supersonic.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Asmodean on June 15, 2012, 05:14:42 PM
Ali is hereby promoted to The Great Priestess Of Grayness.  :D
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 15, 2012, 07:51:00 PM
Awesome! *preens*
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: markmcdaniel on June 15, 2012, 08:31:43 PM
Quote from: Ali on June 15, 2012, 04:29:17 PM
I'll keep working on it.  So far I've done an Asmo limerick, and an Asmo haiku.  Maybe next I'll try my hand at an Asmo villanelle.  ;)
Oh great priestess of grayness You must now start an Asmo epic.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Tank on June 15, 2012, 08:58:53 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on June 15, 2012, 05:14:42 PM
Ali is hereby promoted to The Great Priestess Of Grayness.  :D
Done  ;D
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Ali on June 15, 2012, 09:23:42 PM
 ;D ;D ;D

Tank, you rock.  I love my new title.
Title: Re: Asmology | Split From Pledge of Allegiance Thread
Post by: Tank on June 15, 2012, 09:27:01 PM
Quote from: Ali on June 15, 2012, 09:23:42 PM
;D ;D ;D

Tank, you rock.  I love my new title.
;D your pleasure is my pleasure.