The Ten Requirements.

[The Magic Pudding]

God's used to hand out commandments but these are different times.
Many god like beings/things vie for our attention, we as consumers have the right to demand certain things, if established providers of divine services can't compete, we'll just move on.  I advise the old gods to move on too, there are opportunities out there if they just get with the times, join the clear and transparent tender process.

I haven't got my requirements in point form yet but I'd like some consistency, when is it OK to kill? That sort of stuff.
Human laws are messy, I want my god law to shine so brightly that twisting it would shame even a priest.
A good teacher who knows his subject should be able to explain it simply, these are democratic days, truth shouldn't be owned by an elite.
If god wants to communicate can he do it directly, paint it on the moon maybe, no more priestly intermediaries.
Of course I want the everlasting unimaginably, wonderfully wonderful afterlife, I pass on the virgins though, that's creepy.
If I'm spending time in a body that feels pain and suffering, do you think you can lay off condemning me for enjoying the good bits that follow from having skin?
Mosquitoes and the other biting bastards, I want them smited immediately as an expression of good will, they are an abomination.

[Pharaoh Cat]

Maybe the candidate gods could submit resumes and appear for interviews? 

I would require safe, pleasant, instantaneous teleportation to and from anywhere in the galaxy, free of charge forever, available to anyone who shows up. Think Stargate.

I would also require invulnerability to all harm for all humans forever.

Also an Earth-like planet orbiting every star in the galaxy, with each of these planets having unique flora and fauna found nowhere else.

Also telepathic communication between any two humans, with distance not at all a factor.

[xSilverPhinx]

I would also require invulnerability to all harm for all humans forever.

I would dispute this, the ability to feel pain is one of our best defense mechanisms.

My biggest requirement would be that they show that they exist without the need of people to transmit any message. Indisputable proof.

[DeterminedJuliet]

Maybe if it could remove all of the really tragic elements of human suffering - painful degenerative diseases, starvation, exploitation, genocide. I think some conflict is necessary, because without it I don't think we'd really be human, but maybe if a god could remove some of the truly horrible stuff, it'd be worth having around.

Oh, and if there was an actual infallible god, it would make the legal system so much easier. There'd be no "reasonable doubt this" and "burden of proof" that. An actual god would know who was guilty. That'd be helpful, in a pragmatic sense. Though, I don't see how we could get a God involved in any element of our day to day lives with it becoming a total dictator over all of our lives.

In short, I'm not convinced I want one.

[wildfire_emissary]

It must free the human tracheal design from choking.

[The Magic Pudding]

It must free the human tracheal design from choking.

Thanks wildfire, you do know we don't see enough of you?

[AnimatedDirt]

This God should also redesign the human body so that the disposal system is no where near the reproductive system.

I can't remember which comedian I heard this from or if it even was a comedian...I liked the thinking, but then thought to myself..."Is he really complaining about the human body we all love and cannot get enough of through tight leggings, high heels, thong bikinis, crotchless panties, all kinds of porn...and so on.  (thinking as a guy here)

I'd really like to see what some person's idea of a better body design/evolution is for a woman (and man for that matter) if there is one.  Apparently these people with complaints don't like sex?  I don't really understand the point.

[xSilverPhinx]

Maybe a loving and intelligent god could answer why he specifically designed deadly viruses that only infect human cells?

[AnimatedDirt]

Maybe a loving and intelligent god could answer why he specifically designed deadly viruses that only infect human cells?

I don't quite see it that way, but I do understand the point/question.  What helps me in understanding, not fully, but partially at least, is the question; Does light create dark or is dark a natural by-product of light?

[xSilverPhinx]

Maybe a loving and intelligent god could answer why he specifically designed deadly viruses that only infect human cells?

I don't quite see it that way, but I do understand the point/question.  What helps me in understanding, not fully, but partially at least, is the question; Does light create dark or is dark a natural by-product of light?

I don't get it. So you're saying that god didn't create human viruses?

[The Magic Pudding]

I'd really like to see what some person's idea of a better body design/evolution is for a woman (and man for that matter) if there is one.  Apparently these people with complaints don't like sex?  I don't really understand the point.

Too many, so may woman died giving birth a century back, if I was then I'd have known what to want.

[Pharaoh Cat]

I would also require invulnerability to all harm for all humans forever.

I would dispute this, the ability to feel pain is one of our best defense mechanisms.

But if we're invulnerable to all harm, we wouldn't need defense mechanisms.

[xSilverPhinx]

I would also require invulnerability to all harm for all humans forever.

I would dispute this, the ability to feel pain is one of our best defense mechanisms.

But if we're invulnerable to all harm, we wouldn't need defense mechanisms.

I had interpreted it to mean that we didn't feel harm, but still could be harmed. The alternative, that nothing would be capable of harming us didn't even cross my mind

You mean to say that even if a person were to leap from a considerable height and plummet to the ground at high speed they would still get up and walk...intact? If so that could be an interesting world indeed.

[Tank]

I'd really like to see what some person's idea of a better body design/evolution is for a woman (and man for that matter) if there is one.  Apparently these people with complaints don't like sex?  I don't really understand the point.

Too many, so may woman died giving birth a century back, if I was then I'd have known what to want.

The kangaroo reproductive system is way superior to that of a human. Given the right environment a kangeroo can out reproduce a human any day.

[xSilverPhinx]

Ever-growing teeth would be nice, like a rodent's. Or layers of teeth, such as a shark's, though that would make our mouths look a bit funny.

Dentists would all be out of a job.