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IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR CHRISTIANS

Started by tomday, November 07, 2007, 10:10:34 AM

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tomday

November 07, 2007, 10:10:34 AM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tomday
A very important warning to all Christians visiting this site:
[glow=red]BEWARE[/glow] - do not delve into atheist forums because it has come to my attention that Satan takes very regular roll calls from them and if he finds Christians in the forums he passes their names to Santa and they get struck off his delivery schedule.  After Christmas, Santa then passes his list on to the Easter Bunny, so best to stick to jolly Christian forums and preserve your chocolate supplies!

SteveS

#1
November 07, 2007, 03:44:42 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by SteveS
Crap - the gig is up.  Can I keep Satan on my speed dial?

tomday

#2
November 07, 2007, 04:55:39 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tomday
QuoteCan I keep Satan on my speed dial?
Might as well, reckon it's too late now for you to repent - Santa has almost certainly got your number!

rlrose328

#3
November 07, 2007, 06:36:15 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by rlrose328
Aw man... thank goodness I found my Ritter Sport Biscuits at Trader Joe's then, eh?  LOL!  :-)
**Kerri**
The Rogue Atheist Scrapbooker
Come visit me on Facebook!

matty.the.damned

#4
November 07, 2007, 07:32:28 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by matty.the.damned
Quote from: "tomday"A very important warning to all Christians visiting this site:
[glow=red]BEWARE[/glow] - do not delve into atheist forums because it has come to my attention that Satan takes very regular roll calls from them

Absolutely. Matty the Damned plays cards with the Lord of Darkness every Monday night and he mentioned it just this week.

MtD
Religion controls the weak, stupid and criminal minded in ways that threats of community service and prison cannot. - The Misanthropic Bitch

tomday

#5
November 07, 2007, 07:55:54 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tomday
Just had a thought:  to those who are dyslexic, 'SANTA' and  'SATAN' must be indistinguishable from each other, so dyslexic christians actually hate the red-faced jolly fat man who goes around saying "ho ho ho", and send letters to the other red-faced man with horns, pointy beard and tail telling him how good they've been and please could they have...etc.  
Our new friend Matty, when you see your pal next Monday ask him how many letters he gets from people who can't spell properly.

matty.the.damned

#6
November 07, 2007, 08:03:49 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by matty.the.damned
QuoteOur new friend Matty, when you see your pal next Monday ask him how many letters he gets from people who can't spell properly.

Will do brother. Any other special requests?

MtD
Religion controls the weak, stupid and criminal minded in ways that threats of community service and prison cannot. - The Misanthropic Bitch

shoruke

#7
November 08, 2007, 01:50:44 AM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by shoruke
No duh the devil takes roll call at our forum regularly. I mean, it's not like our home page says an atheist is not a devil worshipper or something.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

SteveS

#8
November 08, 2007, 03:52:35 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by SteveS
Quote from: "matty.the.damned"Matty the Damned plays cards with the Lord of Darkness every Monday night
Sound hazardous to your financial well being - how do you know he's not cheating?  I wouldn't bet too much money.....

Steve Reason

#9
November 21, 2007, 09:45:18 AM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Steve Reason
Damn you, tomday! *shakes fist* Now how will we get our hands on all the world's chocolate so that we can carry out our dark lord's bid to rule the world??

The world is helpless, helpless I tell you without it's chocolate! Bwahahahaha!!!  :badgrin:
I do not fear death, in view of the fact that I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. ~ Mark Twain

http://rumtickle.blogspot.com/

shoruke

#10
November 21, 2007, 10:54:32 PM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by shoruke
The worst part is, I can imagine some 60 year old born-again christian visiting this site, sees this page, reads it all and believes it... after all, christians ARE bred to believe what they're told without question... I'd love to see the person's face =D
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

tomday

#11
November 22, 2007, 09:17:19 AM Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tomday
Shoruke - oh ye of little faith!!
are you suggesting it isn't true? Come on, let's face it, if it's written it must be true.
Please don't cast doubt in the tiny minds of our christian readers, they LIKE to believe what they read.
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