Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Magdalena]

I've shared this joke with 3 people already. Twice in English, once I had to translate it to Spanish, and I also had to explain the "X men powers." 
...The point is, all three said it was a good joke. 

[Icarus]

You are not alone DL.  I was once able to do mental math at an impressive rate..........not so much anymore. 

One of the gimmicks that I use when having an insomnia episode is to lie in the dark and do mental math.  That sure enough erases any other concerns that I might have about the troubles in our world or on a more personal basis, my concern about my own destiny. It works for me.

I am a really old dude who is understandably concerned about his mental capacity.  I mess around with math and physics problems in an effort to keep my increasingly atrophied brain somewhat useful.  I think of it as a kind of mental calisthenics.  Actually it is kind of fun.

[Dark Lightning]

Family nerd trait, I guess, in my case. One of my sons took AP Calculus in HS, and was on the swim and water polo teams. He used to integrate homework problems in his head while doing the backstroke because it's boring to just swim.

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention. I learned this trick from a guy- when someone introduces themselves to you, ask their name again in a couple of minutes, with the excuse that you're terrible with names. When you ask again, you have your full attention on the name because you've initiated the intent to remember.

I knew guys at university who simply stayed up all night cramming for exams, and then promptly forgot the information. I knew that the material I was studying was important for my eventual higher education and paid attention and kept it fresh. This one guy had the nerve in second-semester calculus to ask the prof, "How long to we need to know this?". I said, "For the rest of your life." The prof came over and shook my hand.

[xSilverPhinx]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

[Essie Mae]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

[hermes2015]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

Now that's an activity that piques my interest. Please share some details and photos. Do you have an island?

https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/kitchen-triangle-best-way-to-design-a-kitchen

[xSilverPhinx]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

Now that's an activity that piques my interest. Please share some details and photos. Do you have an island?

https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/kitchen-triangle-best-way-to-design-a-kitchen

You should have been an architect, Hermes. 

[hermes2015]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

Now that's an activity that piques my interest. Please share some details and photos. Do you have an island?

https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/kitchen-triangle-best-way-to-design-a-kitchen

You should have been an architect, Hermes. 

Well, you've hit on one of my few regrets in life. So many of my heroes are architects and designers. On the other hand, had I become an architect, I would have wished I'd become a scientist.

[jumbojak]

The working triangle is a very old idea. Blacksmiths used it for centuries with the forge, anvil, and vice set in a triangle a few steps away from each other. Time is the enemy with hot metal so having the three things you need most laid out as efficiently as possible is key.

[xSilverPhinx]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

Now that's an activity that piques my interest. Please share some details and photos. Do you have an island?

https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/kitchen-triangle-best-way-to-design-a-kitchen

You should have been an architect, Hermes. 

Well, you've hit on one of my few regrets in life. So many of my heroes are architects and designers. On the other hand, had I become an architect, I would have wished I'd become a scientist.

Do you design molecules?

[hermes2015]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

Now that's an activity that piques my interest. Please share some details and photos. Do you have an island?

https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/kitchen-triangle-best-way-to-design-a-kitchen

You should have been an architect, Hermes. 

Well, you've hit on one of my few regrets in life. So many of my heroes are architects and designers. On the other hand, had I become an architect, I would have wished I'd become a scientist.

Do you design molecules?

Yes, I used to design molecules as model compounds to test certain hypotheses when I was doing research for my Masters and PhD degrees. I even managed to create the first stable example of a class of compounds (iodoformates), which were previously though too unstable to survive after formation. I think I was attracted to organic chemistry owing to my interest in designing 3D things. Organic chemistry is like miniature architecture, where the bricks are atoms and the cement is covalent bonding.

[Dark Lightning]

I'm impressed! OC is one of the tougher disciplines, based on what I saw undergrads going through.

[hermes2015]

I'm impressed! OC is one of the tougher disciplines, based on what I saw undergrads going through.

Thanks, but I took to it like a fish to water, thanks to being taught the mechanistic approach, where one just has to consider how electrons move in a molecule. That is totally opposite to the old, hated, approach of having to memorize reactions like recipes. That is why students struggle with it at some university departments that don't teach it in a logical way. I liked it because if one does it mechanistically, it's only necessary to learn a few basic principles that can then be applied to solve almost any problem.

[xSilverPhinx]

One thing- well, two things- about memory, that I read about when younger when I didn't really have a memory problem but just wanted to improve, was that the intent to remember is important, and attention.

That is true.  A little stress also helps consolidate memory, but not too much. Too much stress makes your mind go blank.

So true. Our kitchen being replaced for first time in 40 yrs. Messy house, messy brain.

Now that's an activity that piques my interest. Please share some details and photos. Do you have an island?

https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/kitchen-triangle-best-way-to-design-a-kitchen

You should have been an architect, Hermes. 

Well, you've hit on one of my few regrets in life. So many of my heroes are architects and designers. On the other hand, had I become an architect, I would have wished I'd become a scientist.

Do you design molecules?

Yes, I used to design molecules as model compounds to test certain hypotheses when I was doing research for my Masters and PhD degrees. I even managed to create the first stable example of a class of compounds (iodoformates), which were previously though too unstable to survive after formation. I think I was attracted to organic chemistry owing to my interest in designing 3D things. Organic chemistry is like miniature architecture, where the bricks are atoms and the cement is covalent bonding.

It's like miniature architecture only much harder. Respect. 

I took OC as an undergrad and the professor insisted we learnt the reactions by heart. Obviously, OC was not one of my favourite disciplines. 

[hermes2015]

...
I took OC as an undergrad and the professor insisted we learnt the reactions by heart. Obviously, OC was not one of my favourite disciplines. 

Well, there's your problem. If your prof had taught the mechanistic approach, you might have been an organic chemist today.