Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Tank]

It helps if you imagine auto-correct as a tiny little elf who's trying so hard to be helpful while being stoned out of his mind!

[jumbojak]

That's an interesting perspective.

[Biggus Dickus]

I heard this joke somewhat recently (Ricky Gervais interview) and was telling it to some folks and acquaintances at a party.

Surprisingly a couple of more devout christian ladies took some umbrage with it.
We didn't argue, but they were not pleased at the implication of it, and made sure to let me know.

I think it's rather clever.

"So an old Jewish man, who was a survivor of the holocaust dies. Arriving at heavens gate he is greeted by St Peter, and a few other Saints. They tell him what a fine, good man he was, and having led such an exemplary life has more than earned a spot in heaven.

As he and the Saints are chatting and getting to know each other Jesus walks over to the group, and introduces himself to the old man.

After some time the old man, who during life loved to make people smile and laugh decides to tell a joke that just happens to involve the holocaust.

Jesus, after hearing the joke says, "I'm sorry, but I really don't think that is very appropriate or in good taste"

To which the old Jewish man replies, "Oh, I guess you had to be there".

[Tank]

Love it.

[Magdalena]

"Oh, I guess you had to be there".

Ha!

[jumbojak]

[Magdalena]

Sounds like something my man would say at my burial.

[Biggus Dickus]

I think we would all say that Mags



So one day I asked Socorro (My Wife) what she would do if I ever won the lottery, and she said, "Id take half of the winnings, and leave your ass"!..."Great", I said, "I just won $12.00, here's $6.00,...have a great life and stay in touch"!

[Magdalena]

Sounds like something my man would say at my burial.

I think we would all say that Mags

[Tank]

I think we would all say that Mags



So one day I asked Socorro (My Wife) what she would do if I ever won the lottery, and she said, "Id take half of the winnings, and leave your ass"!..."Great", I said, "I just won $12.00, here's $6.00,...have a great life and stay in touch"!

[Biggus Dickus]

Sounds like something my man would say at my burial.

I think we would all say that Mags

I'm a little rusty on my "Gif-Speak, however. I think what you're saying here Mags is "Bruno, that was funny, butt not-funny mother-f****er"!

[Magdalena]

Sounds like something my man would say at my burial.

I think we would all say that Mags

I'm a little rusty on my "Gif-Speak, however. I think what you're saying here Mags is "Bruno, that was funny, butt not-funny mother-f****er"!

"Bruno, that was funny, but not-that funny."

Yes.

"mother-f****er!"

No.

I wouldn't call you that.

[Biggus Dickus]

I'm a little rusty on my "Gif-Speak, however. I think what you're saying here Mags is "Bruno, that was funny, butt not-funny mother-f****er"!


[/quote]

"Bruno, that was funny, but not-that funny."

Yes.

"mother-f****er!"

No.

I wouldn't call you that.

[Davin]

[Guardian85]

It helps if you imagine auto-correct as a tiny little elf who's trying so hard to be helpful while being stoned out of his mind!

is it just me, or does that sound like something Terry pratchett would write?