Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Tank]

[Tank]

[Tank]

[Arturo]

[Arturo]

I picked up a couple pilots for Uber today. They were talking about how a famous singer, Michelle Williams, took a crap in the boxes on the plane. And when they landed, the cop says "I can't believe it, I'm not picking that up."

"Well you don't have to, it's hazmat."

"Arghragh"

"You know what you should do, is bag that up and put it on ebay"

[Essie Mae]

So many delightful mental pictures. Gratitude

[No one]

Two guys walk into a bar..........




















..... and the third one ducks.

[Magdalena]

^^

[Tank]

[No one]

mags:
^^


Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the salmon.

[No one]

I'm not at all for putting dogs down, but in this case, we would be doing society a favor. And a huge one at that.

[Magdalena]

I'm not at all for putting dogs down, but in this case, we would be doing society a favor. And a huge one at that.

OK.
The one about the two guys who walked into a bar..........
~That was funny.

This one is not. 
Putting albino dogs down. 

Edit:
Whoever made that meme, doesn't even know their rappers. 
They forgot to include, Nate Dogg. Recently passed away, Nate Dogg was an early protégé of Snoop Dogg's.
He was great!  :dance1:

If we're gonna hate rap and rappers, right now, again...I should post a bunch of rap videos....    

[Icarus]

 A new preacher has been assigned to a local church. He is not familiar with the new town. He is walking down the street and asks a little boy where the post office is. Little boy says, two blocks straight ahead and turn right for one block.....Preacher says that if the little boy will come to his church on Sunday he will show him and others how to get to heaven. Little boy says; Bullshit, you don't even know how to get to the fuckin' post office.

[Guardian85]

Vodka and ice ruins your kidneys.
Rum and ice ruins your liver.
Whisky and ice ruins your heart.
Gin and ice ruins your brain.
Pepsi and ice ruins your teeth.

Apparently the use of ice involves serious health dangers, regardless of  what it is mixed with.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
Abolish ice and drink it neat.
You can save lives!



Remember what ice did to the Titanic.

[Essie Mae]

😂😂