Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Guardian85]

Well, since I already have a motorboating licence.... 

[Guardian85]

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local strip club.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the rest room.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

[Magdalena]

I had no idea you were so hairy. Is it a medical condition?

[Magdalena]

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local strip club.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the rest room.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

[Magdalena]

Well, since I already have a motorboating licence.... 

[xSilverPhinx]

[Magdalena]

^^^
That's funny. 

[Tank]

[Tank]

Overheard on the Radio 2. "A message has come in from John... "I've just discovered that my Euro 2016 Semi-final tickets actually clash with my wedding day! If anyone wants to go in my place, please let me know. Her name is Becky and the church is in Southampton' "

[Guardian85]

Overheard on the Radio 2. "A message has come in from John... "I've just discovered that my Euro 2016 Semi-final tickets actually clash with my wedding day! If anyone wants to go in my place, please let me know. Her name is Becky and the church is in Southampton' "

Can she cook? 

[Tank]

[No one]

What did the shy pebble wish?






























That she was just a little bolder.

[Tank]

[Tank]

[xSilverPhinx]