Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Arturo]

Yo Apathy, I live in Dearborn, work in Southfield...what city do you live in, is it the same as where you grew up? (If you feeling like sharing these exact details on the internet that is, understand if you want to remain somewhat vague)

I live in Waterford and every time I go to MJR they show a commercial for a restaurant in Southfield. I assume you take telegraph to work. You could take that all the way to my town as well.

[Biggus Dickus]

Yo Apathy, I live in Dearborn, work in Southfield...what city do you live in, is it the same as where you grew up? (If you feeling like sharing these exact details on the internet that is, understand if you want to remain somewhat vague)

I live in Waterford and every time I go to MJR they show a commercial for a restaurant in Southfield. I assume you take telegraph to work. You could take that all the way to my town as well.

I honestly don't think there are any good restaurants in Southfield, not since they closed down Musashi's here in the Town Center, and no I don't take Telegraph as I live just off Michigan Avenue so it's easier and quicker for me to take Southfield Freeway.

I used to work in Orchard Lake some years ago, and was quite familiar with that area of Oakland, as well as Keego Harbor, Waterford, etc...and back when I was back in the National Guard our unit's Armory prior to moving out to Selfridge was just off Elizabeth Lake Rd. and Telegraph in Pontiac (Johnson St).

We occasionally did some light training at the Waterford Rec. Park.

Most of the guys used to like to hang out at the High Kicker Saloon in Pontiac, but I alway's preferred Kennedy's Irish Pub located right there in Waterford. Definitely had some good times there.

Small world.

[Magdalena]

Small world.

I told you...God makes them, and they find each other."

[Biggus Dickus]

Small world.

I told you...God makes them, and they find each other."

...and I told you, Babcia makes them (Pierogi's), and they will be eaten."

[Arturo]

Laugh it up. Soon you will see the earth and it's people sucked into the sun. Kill us, fry us, burn us alive.

[xSilverPhinx]

[Icarus]

Shit happens xSP. 

[Biggus Dickus]

Shit happens xSP. 

That was funny Icarus, good reply

[Claireliontamer]

[Essie Mae]

This popped up on FB today, so if you have heard it, apologies. It shows I am over that word.

A daughter took her mum to live in a care home.  The mum was allocated a cosy bed, and the next morning she was showered, dressed, given a lovely breakfast and settled in a comfortable chair by a window with a view of the beautiful garden. One of the attentive carers noticed the woman leaning to the side, and swiftly went and resettled her in a more upright position.  This happened a couple of times during the day.  When her daughter came to visit, she asked her mother if she was being well treated. "Oh yes", she said, "I have  just one mild criticism - they won't let you fart."

[Biggus Dickus]

Funny joke Essie...

Since we're on your favorite subject of flatulence, how about this one?

So Stan has a problem. Every time he farts, instead of the typical PHHBBBBTTTTT noise, his fart sounds like the word "Honda!"
While this didn't really bother him in and of itself, it did draw more attention to him when he did fart, and he was also alarmed that there might be something wrong with him.

He visits doctor after doctor trying to find an explanation, but has no luck. All the doctors are completely baffled by this weird condition.
Eventually he finds his way to the far east and visits an old Japanese doctor. He explains the problem and the doctor nods knowingly.

"You have abscess" says the doctor.
"An abscess?" says Stan.
"Yes. Everyone knows abscess make the fart go Honda!"

[Tank]

[Essie Mae]

Funny joke Essie...

Since we're on your favorite subject of flatulence, how about this one?

So Stan has a problem. Every time he farts, instead of the typical PHHBBBBTTTTT noise, his fart sounds like the word "Honda!"
While this didn't really bother him in and of itself, it did draw more attention to him when he did fart, and he was also alarmed that there might be something wrong with him.

He visits doctor after doctor trying to find an explanation, but has no luck. All the doctors are completely baffled by this weird condition.
Eventually he finds his way to the far east and visits an old Japanese doctor. He explains the problem and the doctor nods knowingly.

"You have abscess" says the doctor.
"An abscess?" says Stan.
"Yes. Everyone knows abscess make the fart go Honda!"

Eerrrgh. But I'll allow it this time as I love play-on-words jokes.

[Biggus Dickus]

[Tank]