Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Tank · March 07, 2016, 08:23:56 AM

xSilverPhinx · March 07, 2016, 12:31:37 PM

^ Love it!

Tank · March 12, 2016, 09:52:47 AM

A car salesman knocks on your door.
"I have the best car ever! It's better than any other car on Earth! It's been made just for you!"
"Great. Can I see the car?"
"No.Sorry. You have to die first."
"What idiot would buy that car?"
"Theists."

Icarus · March 12, 2016, 11:47:02 PM

That one rather cerebral Tank.

chimp3 · March 14, 2016, 10:17:52 AM

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.

Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"

"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

Guardian85 · March 14, 2016, 02:31:20 PM

Tank · March 17, 2016, 08:25:20 AM

Tank · March 17, 2016, 08:26:45 AM

Biggus Dickus · March 18, 2016, 09:23:39 PM

A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Manchester United supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Man U supporters, too.

Wanting to be like their teacher hands explode into the air.

There is, however, one exception.

A lovely boy named Bruno has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Man U supporter." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be an Liverpool supporter," boasts the cute, little intelligent boy.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Bruno why he is a Liverpool supporter. "Well, My Dad and Mum are Liverpool supporters, in fact me Dad was one of the original Spice Boys, and so I'm a "Red" too!"

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says adorable little Bruno, "I'd be a Manchester United supporter."