Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Davin]

How the mod is even more boring than mods generally are, so the other mods actually noticed it, cuz' mods are such boring folk...(That's what Davin told me, definitely not my own personal opinion of mods)

That is surprisingly almost verbatim. Though you edited out all my favorite expletives.

[xSilverPhinx]

Funny video: Alien Song - I Will Survive

Good video^^...I sent that to my niece who thought it was super funny, earned me some valuable Uncle points it did, thanks!

Did you folks here about teh global moderator who was sooooo boring the other mods noticed?

Do tell us.

I was just asking a question...anyway I'm not saying anything more as I may end up getting banned for all eternity.

??? I was hoping that was the prelude to a good joke but oh well...

I would try to think up a "how many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb" joke but I'm really not good at making them.  Heh.

Actually that is the joke XSilver

How the mod is even more boring than mods generally are, so the other mods actually noticed it, cuz' mods are such boring folk...(That's what Davin told me, definitely not my own personal opinion of mods)

Anyway reminds me of this joke I told a friend of mine who is an accountant.

A woman is at the doctor when he informs her that she has a terminal illness and at best 6 months to live. She asks the doctor if there is anything at all she could possibly do to extend her life, and the doctor replies, "Sadly there isn't, but as I know you are single person I would go out an marry the first account you meet".

"Why should I do that, she said, will that make me live longer"?

"No, it won't make you live longer", says the doctor, "but the six months you are married to the accountant will feel much longer".

Oh I see. One of the "leave you hanging" variety. 

There's an art to telling jokes that I just don't get. I'm the life of any party. 

As for accountants, I personally know a couple and can verify that time does indeed take on torturous proportions when in their company. 
 

[Guardian85]

How many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?


-CENSORED-

[xSilverPhinx]

How many moderators does it take to change a lightbulb?


-CENSORED-

LOL 

[Magdalena]

One for my dear scientists: 

[OldGit]

[Asmodean Prime]

Pussy, among other things... Or so Asmos hear from legends and such.

[Magdalena]

[Tank]

[Guardian85]

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today.

You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession." The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

[Biggus Dickus]

Halloween from Gary Larson's perspective.

[xSilverPhinx]

I love Gary Larson's comics! My father had the entire Far Side collection and I would read them over and over again when I was a kid!

[Magdalena]

 
Those are funny, Bruno de la Pole.
(About time you posted funny ones.) 

[Biggus Dickus]

Those are funny, Bruno de la Pole.
(About time you posted funny ones.) 

What are you talking about all my jokes are funny.

For example:

Dad: what you got there, son?
Son: soy milk
Dad: Hola soy milk, soy tu Padre

[Biggus Dickus]

Those are funny, Bruno de la Pole.
(About time you posted funny ones.) 

What are you talking about all my jokes are funny.

For example:

Dad: what you got there, son?
Son: soy milk
Dad: Hola soy milk, soy tu Padre

This one is better.

Mahatma Gandhi as you know walked barefoot most of his life.
Which produced calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which caused him to be frail, and his odd diet gave him bad breath.

This made him...









A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.