Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Eric V Arachnid]

Hmm, anything else?

[Larry]

Hmm, anything else?

That's funny!

[Pasta Chick]

Still relevant.

I especially like the bit about unlimited abortions up a year post birth.  For our delicious atheist needs.

[Lee]

LMAO...

I liked the bit at the end best, especially since last weeks SCOTUS announcement. 

[Lee]

Not exactly a joke... but the jokes on them.

Confederate flag parade....  NSFW (not safe for work  ) language.

http://uproxx.com/webculture/2015/06/this-confederate-flag-parade-in-georgia-ends-in-the-most-hilarious-way-possible/?utm_source=FBTraffic&utm_medium=fijifrost&utm_campaign=CMfacebook&ts_pid=5


If I believed in Karma, this would be the best instant Karma ever.

[Claireliontamer]

[Icarus]

^ Hoot Hoot!

[Guardian85]

A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."

[Claireliontamer]

Britain when we have a 'heatwave'....

[OldGit]

MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH!

Viagra is now available in tea bags.  It doesn't help with sexual problems, but it stops your biscuits going soggy.

[Guardian85]

 A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

[Lee]

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's Not Unusual."


 

[Tank]

   

[Magdalena]

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's Not Unusual."


 

 

Oooh, Tom Jones!!!
Well, she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well, she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.

[OldGit]