Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[OldGit]

[Guardian85]

One for our glorious leader.   

[Lee]

I thought I'd see it all but nope... tank-doggie-style is a new one. 

[Larry]

How else to get tanklets?

[Tom62]

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out,"Anyone here know hoe to pray?"

[One man stepped forward]

"Aye,captain,I know how to pray."

"Good,"said the captain,"You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets; we're one short."

[OldGit]

^ LOL

The regiment was camped in the jungle.  The adjutant sees the Colonel walk back into camp, stunned and shaken.

"Anything wrong, Sir?

"I've just been for a walk and I saw Carruthers shagging a gorilla!"

"Good God, Sir! Was it a female gorilla?"

"Well of course it was a female, Major! Dammit, there's nothing queer about Carruthers.!

[Essie Mae]

Jolly good what!

[Firebird]

Yogi Berra was a catcher for the New York Yankees (baseball) for many years, really funny guy. So this supposedly happened:

One day the Yankees were playing an exhibition game when a streaker ran onto the field. The person was wearing a pair of sneakers and a mask, nothing else.

Later he was telling the story of the streaker to some other players who weren't there that day, how someone ran stark naked onto the field in front of everyone. Really,  they said.  Was it a man or a woman?

"I don't know, " Yogi said. "They had a bag over their head."

[OldGit]

That reminds me of the patient who walked into the psychiatrist's consulting-room wearing nothing but a strip of cling-film around his loins.  The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

[Tank]

[Tom62]

[Larry]

Indeed.

[Tank]

[Guardian85]

I found a religion that kinda makes sense. 
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6963479/the-13-gods-of-the-internet-pantheon

[joeactor]

I found a religion that kinda makes sense. 
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6963479/the-13-gods-of-the-internet-pantheon

New times call for a new religion!