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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Biggus Dickus

#3150
April 24, 2015, 01:56:43 PM

Mom: Time to get up Liam, you will be late for school.
Liam: I don't wanna go to school today, all the teachers and students hate me.
Mom: Liam get up, you have to go school.
Liam: Give me one good reason why I should go.
Mom: I'll give you two, you're 35 years old, and you're the principal.
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Asmodean

#3151
April 24, 2015, 05:39:32 PM
Principal at 35, eh..? Well done in the ass kissing department then!  :D
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Biggus Dickus

#3152
April 24, 2015, 05:50:02 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 24, 2015, 05:39:32 PM
Principal at 35, eh..? Well done in the ass kissing department then!  :D

It's a Dutch school so what do you expect.
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Asmodean

#3153
April 24, 2015, 05:55:09 PM
Some thorough ass-kissing, of course!  >:(
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

#3154
April 24, 2015, 06:56:53 PM
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning!!!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Pasta Chick

#3155
April 24, 2015, 07:12:44 PM

Tank

#3156
April 24, 2015, 07:15:58 PM
^^^^  :D :D :D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Asmodean

#3157
April 24, 2015, 07:45:59 PM
The Asmo approves too.  :D
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Crow

#3158
April 24, 2015, 08:24:38 PM
Brilliant.
Retired member.

Guardian85

#3159
April 24, 2015, 08:43:24 PM
Saw it coming. Still funny.  ;D


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Lee

#3160
April 25, 2015, 12:00:54 AM
Quote from: Pasta Chick on April 24, 2015, 07:12:44 PM


O...M...G...!!! Bwahahahahahaha..............

I laughed so hard I thought I would puke. lolol

Guardian85

#3161
April 25, 2015, 03:19:42 AM
As it is tradition in Norway to make deprecating jokes about our dear neighbors:


Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Sweden?
It's impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Asmodean

#3162
April 25, 2015, 06:44:41 AM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 25, 2015, 03:19:42 AM
As it is tradition in Norway to make deprecating jokes about our dear neighbors:


Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Sweden?
It's impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.

The wise men in the Jesus-tale were outlanders, no? As for virgins, Mary obviously just lied about having fucked some fool; she could have done that while being Swedish with ease. She just wouldn't need to, because the Swedes are far too civilized to make too big of deal out of sex.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Crow

#3163
April 25, 2015, 10:18:43 AM
Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert?
A: Thought it was a map.

Q: Why are Norwegian women so pretty?
A: The Vikings only took the pretty ones.

Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this.

A Brit in London asks a tourist:
- Do you want to hear a funny story about stupid Americans?
- Hey, guy, I'M AMERICAN!
- No problems, I can tell this story twice, if you don't understand at first.
Retired member.

Guardian85

#3164
April 25, 2015, 03:02:38 PM
Why are Swedish jokes getting sillier and sillier?

Because the Swedes have started to make them up themselves.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-
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