Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Magdalena]

^ ^
 

[OldGit]

The voice on the burning bush clip is even sillier, IMHO.  They've just slowed the tape down a bit.

[Asmodean]

Yeah, but don't you use that really authoritative "God" voice?  Like thy one in the "Ten Commandments" (With C. Heston)?

Or is your voice more like Pee Wee Hermans?

Depends. For commanding particualrly troublesome Old Gits, for instance, The Asmo usually goes with a stern nursing home staff voice. 

[Dobermonster]

Yeah, but don't you use that really authoritative "God" voice?  Like thy one in the "Ten Commandments" (With C. Heston)?

Or is your voice more like Pee Wee Hermans?

Depends. For commanding particualrly troublesome Old Gits, for instance, The Asmo usually goes with a stern nursing home staff voice. 

"Now, Mr Asmo, if you won't stop flinging your peas at Luxembourg there won't be any high-protein chocolate nutritional drink later."

[Asmodean]

Something like that, only more overworked and underpaid. 

[OldGit]

"Now, Mr Asmo, if you won't stop flinging your peas at Luxembourg there won't be any high-protein chocolate nutritional drink later."

[Biggus Dickus]

Paleontologists have recently discovered Pterodactyls made absolutely no sound when they were peeing, they believe this ability developed overtime in order to make them stealthier, and thus better hunters.

Of course we know this is true because the "P" is silent.

[Essie Mae]

Groan ..... That's enough, I'm turning in now.

[OldGit]

Sir Bruno, that joke is so bad that I have to laugh!

[Guardian85]

One day an 85-year-old man is taking a stroll around his hometown, which he has lived in for his whole life. As he sees the landmarks, homes, and streets from his youth, he starts reminiscing....

"I remember helping build that bridge when I was 25. I worked hard on that. But people won't call you 'the bridge builder' if you do that here. No, no, they don't!"

"I remember building that house over there when I was 30. But people won't call you 'the house builder' if you do that. No, no they don't!"

"I remember building that tavern that I still lounge at when I was 35. If you do that people won't call you 'the tavern builder' either. They sure won't!"

"But if you fuck one goat......."

[Biggus Dickus]

^^ ^^

[Icarus]

That one was really bad G85. I liked it 

[Tank]

[Guardian85]

[OldGit]

 ^