Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Ecurb Noselrub]

It took me a while ......

Me, too.

[Tank]

It took me a while ......

Me, too.

Use more hair spray

[Magdalena]

[OldGit]

I was telling a  girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she  said, "Go on then...try."

After about  thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

[Essie Mae]

I was telling a  girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she  said, "Go on then...try."

After about  thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

Priceless!

[Tsun Tsu]

The difference between a light bulb and your pregnant girlfriend?  You can unscrew the light bulb

[Tank]

The difference between a light bulb and your pregnant girlfriend?  You can unscrew the light bulb

[Essie Mae]

When asked whether she would rather have Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, the elderly woman said,

"Parkiinson's. I'd rather spill some of the wine down me than forget where I put the bottle."

[Tsun Tsu]

Rodney Dangerfield :  I tell ya I never get any respect. My Proctologist stuck his hand down my throat and my dentist numbed my ASS

[Magdalena]

When asked whether she would rather have Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, the elderly woman said,

"Parkiinson's. I'd rather spill some of the wine down me than forget where I put the bottle."

   

[Guardian85]

"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two. "No thank you." the gentleman replied. "That will be all." As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked.
"Yeah ! That's a good idea." the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard."

[Tank]

[Tank]

[OldGit]

^Uncomfortably close to real life.

[Tank]

^Uncomfortably close to real life.

Yes.