Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[joeactor]

Hah! Love that one!

I just passed on buying a homeopathic (arnica) in favor of an herbal alternative (bromelain).
The whole idea behind the water having some "memory" of a prior chemical is just too far.

Have there been any studies that show positive results for homeopathic medicine?

[Magdalena]

[Asmodean]

An extended hospital stay, I think, not the Darwin Award.

[jumbojak]

Have there been any studies that show positive results for homeopathic medicine?

None better than chance.

[Pasta Chick]

Hah! Love that one!

I just passed on buying a homeopathic (arnica) in favor of an herbal alternative (bromelain).
The whole idea behind the water having some "memory" of a prior chemical is just too far.

Have there been any studies that show positive results for homeopathic medicine?

Arnica is typically found as a herbal remedy.  It's also used in classic homeopathy, but the gels and rubs you find in most stores do contain the plant itself.  I've not seen much evidence that it does anything, though.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

I'll have to say that I didn't get the joke until water memory was mentioned.  I looked it up and read about it for the first time.  Obviously I don't know much about homeopathy.  Strange stuff.

[joeactor]

Arnica is typically found as a herbal remedy.  It's also used in classic homeopathy, but the gels and rubs you find in most stores do contain the plant itself.  I've not seen much evidence that it does anything, though.

Yes - seems like the topical formula for Arnica does at least have the plant in it, and may be good for some aches and pains.
But it's toxic to take internally (not that there's any in the homeopathic version anyway)

[Guardian85]

Two pedophiles were walking down the street one day when they came across a pair of small lacey knickers on the ground. The first one picks them up, smells them and goes, "Aahhh... A seven-year-old girl." The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell and goes, "No, no ... Definitely an eight-year-old girl!" The two of them are them smelling them in turns and arguing. "An eight-year-old!", "No, a seven-year-old!", "Definitely an eight-year-old!" .... and so on. The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't help but ask them what the commotion is all about.

The first pedophile tells the priest, and asks him if he could sort out the argument, so the priest takes the knickers, has a good long sniff, and after pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says: "Definitely an eight-year-old girl! ......... but not from my parish!"

[Magdalena]

^ ^ ^
I love your jokes and I always share them. However, I'm definitely NOT sharing this "joke" because I don't think there's anything funny about child sexual abuse.

[Crow]

^ ^ ^
I love your jokes and I always share them. However, I'm definitely NOT sharing this "joke" because I don't think there's anything funny about child sexual abuse.

I shared it. Dark jokes are the best.

[Tom62]

Another dark joke, this one was very popular 16 years ago in the Netherlands.

Marc Dutroux and Michel Jackson are taking a cruise together. The are sitting at the diningtable when they hear the captain making the announcement: "The ship is sinking. All people to the lifeboats. Women and children first." Dutroux jumps up and says "Fuck the children". Jackson looks up and says "Do we still have enough time for that?".

[Magdalena]

I give up. 

[Tom62]

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her.

They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked."

[Siz]

How long does it take to microwave a baby?

I dunno either - I was too busy jerking off.

[Essie Mae]

An extended hospital stay, I think, not the Darwin Award.

The Darwin Ward perhaps?