Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[joeactor]

Grandma tells a dirty joke:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7YvYVJsMeg
(warning: language?)

[Tank]

[Crow]

^ hahaha that is brilliant.

[Icarus]

Grandma's joke is hilarious. I like the old broad.

Kermit's double entente is cute too.

[jumbojak]

Probably a repeat, but I heard it at work tonight and had a good laugh:

One day Little Jimmy walks onto the porch and sees his father smoking a cigar. Jimmy asks if he can take a drag to see what smoking a cigar is like. His father replies, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Jimmy shakes his head and his father replies, "Then you can't take a drag of this cigar."

A few days later Jimmy walks onto the porch and sees his father drinking a beer. Jimmy asks if he can try a sip and find out what beer tastes like. His father replies, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Jimmy shakes his head and his father replies, "Then you can't have a sip of this beer."

A few days later Jimmy's father walks onto the porch and sees his son with a plate of Grandma's Super Deluxe Snickerdoodles. It's a secret family recipe. Jimmy's father asks if he can have one, because he loves Grandma's Super Deluxe Snickerdoodles. Jimmy asks, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Jimmy's father nods his head and Jimmy replies, "Then go fuck yourself. Grandma made these cookies for me."

[Crow]

Probably a repeat, but I heard it at work tonight and had a good laugh:

One day Little Jimmy walks onto the porch and sees his father smoking a cigar. Jimmy asks if he can take a drag to see what smoking a cigar is like. His father replies, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Jimmy shakes his head and his father replies, "Then you can't take a drag of this cigar."

A few days later Jimmy walks onto the porch and sees his father drinking a beer. Jimmy asks if he can try a sip and find out what beer tastes like. His father replies, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Jimmy shakes his head and his father replies, "Then you can't have a sip of this beer."

A few days later Jimmy's father walks onto the porch and sees his son with a plate of Grandma's Super Deluxe Snickerdoodles. It's a secret family recipe. Jimmy's father asks if he can have one, because he loves Grandma's Super Deluxe Snickerdoodles. Jimmy asks, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"

Jimmy's father nods his head and Jimmy replies, "Then go fuck yourself. Grandma made these cookies for me."

4 posts above yours.

[jumbojak]

Dammit, dammit, dammit! Sorry Joe......

[Claireliontamer]

[joeactor]

Dammit, dammit, dammit! Sorry Joe......

gotta watch me... I'm fast! (sometimes ;-)

[Icarus]

I just love that one CLT. It could actually be a mnemonic device for students who can not remember. Now all you have to do is invent some more clever picture thingys for other trig identities.

[Tank]

Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she got home.

[OldGit]

^ LOL

[Biggus Dickus]

^ LOL

^^ LOL (I hate when that happens)

[OldGit]

How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will just sit in the dark and demand you accept the light is still on.

[Ali]

^^^